Funny eaten quotes

• 

  5 days ago

  Share →: Book reviews be like: “5 stars. I’m sobbing. I’m unwell. I haven’t eaten in 16 hours. Highly recommend.”

  Commentary:
  Sending this book to my therapist because clearly, it's causing emotional damage 😂📚💔

• 

  6 days ago

  Share →: I feel like whoever named them rice cakes has never actually eaten a cake.

  Commentary:
  Is it cake? Or just a crunchy existential crisis? 🍚🎂😆

• 

  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Once you understand why pizza is made round, packed in square boxes, and eaten as a triangle, then you will understand women.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the geometry of pizza and women: deliciously puzzling! 😄🍕🔺⬜️"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: 80% of arguments start because someone hasn’t eaten yet.

  Commentary:
  "Ah, the 'hangry' monster strikes again! 🍔😡 Just feed it and watch the peace return! 😂"

• 

  2 months ago

  Share →: Have you ever “accidentally” eaten a family sized bag of chips?

  Commentary:
  "Accidentally? More like 'skillfully'! 😎🍟 #Talent"

• 

  3 months ago

  Share →: I wish my life could have a stats screen but for things I care about. Like how many English Muffins with peanut butter I’ve eaten.

  Commentary:
  Ah, the eternal quest for crucial life data! 📊🥜🍞 Just imagine having a dedicated stats screen for essential metrics like toastiness levels of English Muffins or the precise ratio of peanut butter to muffin! 🤔📈 If only there was a dashboard that could quantify our culinary adventures in such delicious detail! 🥪🤓 #SnackStatsGoals

• 

  4 months ago

  Share →: I’m pretty sure I fall under the percentage of people who’ve eaten the sticker on the apple.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like someone took 'eating your fruits and veggies' a little too literally 🍎🤦‍♂️ Just making sure to get your daily dose of fiber… and adhesive! 🙊😂"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: I haven’t given up on my fairy-tale ending. I still plan to be eaten by a wolf.

  Commentary:
  "Embracing the unconventional happily-ever-afters, our dreamer sets the bar high by aiming to star in a twisted fairy tale where the wolf plays the leading role 🐺. Talk about taking a bite out of life! 🌟📚 #FairyTaleGoals"

• 

  6 months ago

  Share →: Of course babies cry when flying, their entire understanding of planes centers around them being eaten.

  Commentary:
  Babies crying on planes: the ultimate protest against becoming in-flight meals! 🍼✈️ Don't worry little ones, you're on the menu for attention and cuddles, not for the airplane dinner service! 😄#BabyProblems #FlyingDilemma

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