Wordgag ツ

Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Don’t let me drive if you’re gonna scream every time we almost die.

Commentary:
"Warning: Riding with me may include heart-stopping moments and potential near-death experiences 🚗💨 Please keep all screams and panic attacks to a minimum for a smoother journey. Safety not guaranteed, but entertainment is!"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Every time I see an odd screw on the floor somewhere, I think one of my loose ones has finally come out.

Commentary:
"Looks like your screws are really falling for you! 😄🔩 Keep an eye out for any loose nuts too, just in case they start following suit. 🤪 #DIYdrama"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I love traveling because I love to check if I have my passport every 3-4 minutes.

Commentary:
"Who needs a Fitbit when you have a passport to keep tabs on? Passport-checking: the latest travel workout trend! 💼✈️😂"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I finally have glasses, which is great because I needed one more thing to frantically search for every morning.

Commentary:
"Adding glasses to your daily morning routine – because having just your keys, phone, and sanity to find wasn't challenging enough 🤓🔍 #MorningSearchMission"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic 'let's agree to disagree' – the diplomatic way of saying 'let's just nod and move on' 🤷‍♂️🤷‍♀️. A surefire strategy for avoiding those never-ending debates that make you question your life choices 🤣. Just remember, when in doubt, agree to disagree and grab some popcorn for the show! 🍿👏"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: A man rejecting my advances can’t hurt me. I have a dog who leaves the bed every time I climb in.

Commentary:
"Who needs rejection from a man when even your dog's like, 'Nah, I'm out' 🤣🐶 #dogloyalty #rejectedbyboth"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I’d probably just spend it on more bacon.

Commentary:
"If I had a dollar for every time someone called me fat, I'd probably just spend it on more bacon 🥓. After all, why let haters ruin a good bacon-filled moment when you can savor that sizzle instead! 💁‍♂️ #BaconOverBullies"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: Every house is a dream house when you can’t afford one.

Commentary:
"Ah, the bittersweet reality of dreaming big and living small! 🏠💭 Who needs walls when you've got imagination, right? 😅💸 #DreamHouseGoals"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: If i had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be saying it for me.

Commentary:
"If I had $5 for every time I said up yours to someone, my butler would be rolling in it… and probably mumbling 'up yours' under his breath while polishing the silverware. 💸🤵✨"
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: I stay up late every night, regret it in the morning, and the next day I do it all over again.

Commentary:
"Ah, the vicious cycle of late-night regrets 😅🌙 It's like a sequel that you never asked for, starring you as the protagonist every single night! Here's to hoping for a plot twist where you become an early bird 🐦, or at least invest in more under-eye concealer! 😉"