Exercise won't cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Exercise won’t cure your depression, but it can make you hotter than your enemies.

Commentary:
"Who needs revenge when you can just outshine them with those killer muscles? 💪😏 Exercise: the ultimate enemy-destroying weapon with a side of endorphins! 🏋️‍♂️🔥 #SweatinNotStressin"

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

About 40 muscles are activated when you eat just one donut. Follow me for more fitness advice.

Commentary:
Oh, so you're saying eating a donut counts as a workout now? 🍩💪 Talk about muscle activation in the tastiest way possible! 😂 Who needs a gym membership when you've got a box of donuts, am I right? 🤷‍♂️ #FitnessGoals #DonutLover

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Overthinking should at least burn calories.

Commentary:
"Imagine if overthinking burned calories 🤯💭💪 We'd all have abs of steel from endless mental marathons! 💪🔥 But alas, here we are, still pondering life's mysteries while snacking on chips 🤷‍♂️🍟 #OverthinkersUnite"

It's been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

It’s been so long since I had sex last, went jogging in flip flops just to remember the sound.

Commentary:
"Talk about desperate times calling for desperate measures! 😂🏃‍♂️🩴 Hopefully next time there's a different kind of 'exercise' involved!"

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

If overthinking burned calories, I’d never need to exercise again.

Commentary:
"Imagine having abs of steel from just thinking about having abs of steel 🤯💪😂 #OverthinkingFitnessGoals"

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

My favorite yoga pose is reaching for the remote control on the far end of the table without falling off the couch.

Commentary:
Ah, the elusive 'Couch Potato' pose – a true test of flexibility and balance for those of us dedicated to the ancient art of TV watching 🧘‍♂️🛋️ Remember, it's all about finding inner peace… and the right channel!

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

The only team building exercise we had when I started working was called “Happy Hour.”

Commentary:
Looks like their team building strategy was to build relationships with the help of some liquid courage! 🥂 Who needs trust falls and trust exercises when you can bond over a few drinks instead? 😄 #HappyHourTeamBuilding

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Being insane should at least burn calories.

Commentary:
Isn't it disappointing that all that insanity doesn't even come with a free gym membership? 🤪💪 Maybe the key to weight loss is just a little bit of crazy! Who needs HIIT workouts when you've got mental breakdowns, am I right? 😂

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn't work out.

Attempted to exercise this morning. Didn’t work out.

Commentary:
Looks like that exercise routine really stretched the limits of motivation! 🏋️‍♂️💦 Better luck next time, or maybe just switch to "yo-gonna-eat-that" instead. 😜 #ExerciseStruggles

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Going to the gym to exercise my demons.

Commentary:
"Off to the gym to sweat out my demons and get that exorcise! 💪😈 #FitnessGoals #DemonsBeGone"