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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇬 has shared:

Why procrastinate now when you can always procrastinate later?

Someone from 🇲🇲 has downloaded:

King Kong should’ve been able to find a better place to hide than the top of the tallest building in the middle of New York City.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has shared:

I mostly choose to stay silent in weird situations but my face has subtitles.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear women, when you’re not around we load the dishwasher properly.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

“Listen to your body!” Okay, well, my body wants to lay down and eat snacks all day.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

When you see a squirrel, you’re bound to say, “Awww, a squirrel!”

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has bookmarked:

Іf Empire Strikes Back isn’t a Christmas movie, then why is there so much snow in it?

Someone from 🇷🇺 has copied:

You should just baseline mistrust every single politician at every level until they prove themselves worthy of liking.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Pinterest:

I was born to be wild, but only until around 9pm or so.

Reported on Pinterest:

You ever look at yourself on the self-checkout camera and think, “wow, I better write my will.”

Just shared via X:

If it weren’t for this whole job thingy that pays me money, I’d become a professional nap taker.

Spotted on TikTok:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Just landed via WeChat:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Breaking via Instagram:

Look, babe, I’m sorry. If your fake British accent keeps being this geographically inconsistent, I’m going to have to cancel the medieval roleplay sex.

Seen just now on Twitch:

I don’t post for money or fame, I post because there’s something seriously wrong with me.

Breaking via WeChat:

I would love to change the world, but they won’t give me the source code.

Shared recently on Slack:

Me, unwrapping a gift: Oh wow, an item. I love these!

Trending via TikTok:

Old enough to know better. Young enough to do it anyway.

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Funny faking quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media need people procrastination relationship sarcasm social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

790 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,952

Funny Quotes Topics

13,923

Funny Quotes Images

10,952

Updated

48 minutes ago

Users Online

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇼 has shared:

There could be a ghost aggressively breakdancing beside you right now and you’d have no idea.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

Why’s it always “NYC smells like pee” and never “my pee smells like the greatest city in the world”?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

“AI is coming for your jobs!” I’d like to see AI send 5 emails a day and check their fantasy football line-ups on and off for 8 hours.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

When I get tired of shopping, I sit down and try on shoes.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has bookmarked:

Ironically people who are good at giving advice find it difficult to follow their own.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has viewed:

My wife bought new towels and they’re different colors, so I know the entire color scheme of my house is about to change.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

An agenda reveal party, where I surprise everyone with all the things I hope to accomplish this weekend.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

A general rule of parenting: if you’re having a great day, the day isn’t old enough yet.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

The heart wants what it wants, but it’s not the only organ that has a vote.

Someone from 🇸🇦 has bookmarked:

“You’re so quiet!” Thanks! I actually tried to speak twice but you kept talking over me.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

My whole life is basically a blooper reel.

Shared recently on TikTok:

Yeah, I have a drinking problem. It’s called dehydration.

Shared recently on Slack:

Porn actresses envy the look on my face when I clean my ear with a cotton bud.

Shared recently on Threads:

Who are these people that buy unsalted butter on purpose?

Trending via Twitch:

Relationship status: he escaped.

Trending via YouTube:

Not now, babe, it’s my nightly phone enrichment time.

Shared recently on Slack:

I have money, then I don’t have money, it all happens so fast!

Freshly posted on Threads:

I wouldn’t describe myself as an “adult”, per se. More like a “long child”.

Live now on X:

Being quiet in a room full of loud people is my favorite sport.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Gonna start using “with all dude respect”.

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