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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has bookmarked:

I am a fool everyday, I don’t need a holiday for it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

The season is back when women are 80% scarf.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has shared:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

The advantage of being an identical twin: you only need one gym contract.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

I love airports because the rules of society don’t apply. Eat a pizza and have a glass of wine at 7 am while in track pants. Nobody cares.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has bookmarked:

If you want to impress me with your car, it should be an ice cream van.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

The first Saw movie should have been called Footloose.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,559

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via LinkedIn:

I always have a bad connection in my head when someone tries to explain a card or board game to me.

Breaking via Slack:

Beginning to understand why deer throw themselves in front of cars.

Live now on Instagram:

My two moods are eating a breakfast sandwich or wishing I was eating a breakfast sandwich.

Trending via X:

I could never abuse substances, they mean a lot to me.

Seen just now on TikTok:

Walking into someone’s house with healthy, thriving houseplants everywhere: “Oh, I see you dabble in witchcraft!”

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Mama didn’t raise no fool, I turned into one all on my own.

Making waves on Threads:

You tell people you’re not trying to drink and they act like you just turned down 100k.

Broadcasted on Discord:

Therapy isn’t gonna cut it, I need vengeance.

Seen just now on Slack:

“Your sock has a hole in it!” Yeah, no shit, that’s how I get my foot in there.

Just landed via Threads:

I’m writing a book of obitchuaries for all the people who are dead to me.

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Social Media Stars ⭐

84 shares on Pinterest this month:

Please go out, have fun, have friends, make connections. That mysterious lifestyle won’t save you.

98 shares on Threads this month:

It’s so beautiful when two real perverts find each other.

63 shares on YouTube this month:

Life is like a helicopter. I don’t know how to operate a helicopter.

37 shares on YouTube this month:

In terms of wasting time, today was very productive.

29 shares on Instagram this month:

I’ve got a headache, and it’s affecting my entire future.

71 shares on Pinterest this month:

Everybody looks sexier when they are happy.

32 shares on WeChat this month:

I’m a simple person. All I need in life to be happy is to have everything go my way and work out how I want it to.

100 shares on Snapchat this month:

At the airport, and a wife asked her husband, “Where are our seats?” and he responds, “In the airplane.”

67 shares on TikTok this month:

Opening a Star Wars pub called Bar Bar Binks.

97 shares on X this month:

People out there having five-year plans, and here I am waking up just hoping I remember what day it is.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

80% of Americans just want to put on sunglasses and say, ‘Let’s do this.’

12 folks are currently checking 👀

One thing about me is I don’t even need to get drunk to act a fool.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The sandwich I made for lunch didn’t even make it until 10am.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Most of my job is making things idiot proof, but they keep making better idiots.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Autumn is when men run around like it’s summer and women like it’s winter.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

They should build a separate grocery store for people who have actually purchased food before, know how to push a cart, and possess at least an ounce of spatial awareness.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Fries, not lies.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

People who leave the blinds closed the entire plane ride: who hurt you?

25 folks are currently checking 👀

At this point, if you buy Tesla, everyone is just going to assume you are a loser.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My problem is I buy outfits I don’t have shoes for and shoes I don’t have outfits for.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,662

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇪🇨 has shared:

Do people exist who manage to wash, dry, fold, and put away their laundry in the same day?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has viewed:

Well, well, well, if it isn’t the holiday traffic I said I’d avoid even though I did nothing to avoid it.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has downloaded:

I could be staring at my hand locking my front door, and I still won’t feel 100% sure my front door was locked.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇰🇭 has bookmarked:

Three serious exes is the right amount before you meet your spouse. You need one truly evil one, one normal one, and one situationship, and then you’ve basically experienced all dating has to offer.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

Hit my coworker with “you’re a lucky man” after I saw a picture of his wife just to let him know that I want to sleep with her.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

You ever been in the middle of a conversation and realized this is why you avoid people?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has viewed:

Every day Facebook tells me I have memories and wants to show them to me. It’s like they have no appreciation for the cost or the amount of liquor I needed to erase them.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has copied:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Someone from 🇬🇳 has viewed:

No, I’m not depressed. I’m sure there’s just something wrong with the planets or stars or something.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

A lot of people think you need a lot of money to buy clothes. And they’re right.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Work meetings would be a lot more fun if they took place in a giant IKEA ball pit.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

I don’t want to end this year on bad terms with anybody. Could you please apologize to me?

Spreading quickly via Twitch:

Wanted to update everybody on my diet. I’ve decided it’s okay to be fat.

Breaking via Pinterest:

My stomach just made the exact sound of the “your” in “your call has been forwarded to an automatic voice messaging system.”

Going viral on Slack:

No matter what’s going on in your life, there’s some form of potato that can make it better.

Live now on Discord:

The people who “don’t have time” and the people who “always find time” have the same amount of time.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When the Beatles say, “Come together, right now, over me,” what was that about? Why did they say that?

Spotted on Threads:

The feelings I have for Tom Cruise are the closest approximation I have to what patriotism must feel like.

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