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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇲 has copied:

I was blinded by a goddamn deer with a shiny red nose… No, officer, I haven’t been drinking.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

How to have flat stomach: remove all of your organs.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

It’s a myth that we only use 10% of our brain, but I definitely know people who use less than that.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has bookmarked:

Posing for photos has to be the most basic thing I’m actually terrible at.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

All these galaxies and planets, and we ended up on the one with 40 hour work weeks.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The lion does not concern himself with Microsoft Teams.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has viewed:

“Are you ok?” Of course not. Next question!

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

King-sized beds: Because you both want to sleep on the same mattress, but not in the same zip code.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

When my nudes go to the cloud, I always hope God is impressed.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has copied:

I don’t think you all understand. If Taylor Swift didn’t have a private jet, she’d be Taylor Slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,462

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Slack:

I’m an over-explainer (I explain things too much).

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Who called it girl math and not galgebra?

Just shared via Reddit:

I’m so old I remember when a hashtag was called a pound sign, and we played tic-tac-toe on top of it.

Live now on Facebook:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Trending via Snapchat:

There’s never a good place to clip your toenails at the library.

Seen just now on Instagram:

Unlike smoking, vaping doesn’t reduce your sex drive. It just reduces the sex drive of the people who see you vaping.

Breaking via Twitch:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

Spotted on Instagram:

I feel like waking up early on the weekend is so disrespectful.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Just landed via Discord:

Call a girl beautiful 1000 times and she won’t notice. Call her fat once and she will never forget. That’s because elephants never forget.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

Updated

37 minutes ago

Users Online

3,442

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Life’s all about crossroads and intersections; unfortunately, I’m a bad driver.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

People don’t realize how hard you ride for them until you park.

Someone from 🇨🇬 has shared:

Gonorrhea would’ve been a great name for diarrhea medicine.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has downloaded:

Apparently there is a bird fight club who holds their meetings outside my window at about 5am.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has bookmarked:

Day 12 without chocolate: Lost all hearing in my left eye.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has bookmarked:

Like, who are those little paper umbrellas trying to protect?

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

Sometimes our greatest achievement in life is being able to survive our own thoughts.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

If you wake up early enough, you can go back to sleep for a few hours. Not everyone knows this.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

When your kid asks you where the other parent is, they’re really saying that they’d like to speak with the manager.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has downloaded:

To everyone I’ve wronged this year. Next year same time, same place.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Hey, sorry I acted weird the other day. I was trying so hard to act normal that it backfired.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Reported on WhatsApp:

I think my soulmate might be carbs.

Shared recently on Slack:

I only buy cookware with the handles that somehow get hotter than the pot itself.

Going viral on Instagram:

Daylight savings is not enough. You need to be daylight investing.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Making waves on Slack:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

Sleep well, middle finger—you’ve got a big day ahead of you tomorrow.

Reported on YouTube:

Bag of salad is the boxed wine of vegetables.

Spotted on Facebook:

Reverse cowgirl is not a fair trade because, why do you get a view of my sexy back, and all I’m seeing are your toes throwing gang signs?

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