Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Gonna run this by my two best friends who are as insane as I am.

Commentary:
"Consulting with your partners in crime, a.k.a. your partners in craziness! 😜🤪 Can't make important decisions without the approval of your fellow lunatics, am I right? 🤣"

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

That one British friend that’s too bloke.

Commentary:
"Oh, that one British mate who's just a tad *too* bloke, eh? Probably spikes his tea with extra testosterone 🇬🇧💪 #BlokeGoals"

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. 'Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.'

We should all start texting each other like old time explorers. ‘Dearest friend, I have survived another week. The horrors persist.’

Commentary:
Ahoy matey! 🏴‍☠️ Avast ye, ’tis Monday again! 🦜 Let us bravely face the high seas of another workweek and combat the monsters of emails and deadlines with gallant spirits! 👩‍💼⚔️💼 May the winds of productivity be ever at your back as you navigate through the treacherous waters of the workplace! ⛵️🌊 Keep thy courage and wit sharp as a blade.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Messed up and threw a surprise party for my minimalist friend. Now 25 of us are hiding behind the granite orb.

Commentary:
Looks like the minimalist party turned into a maximum occupancy situation! 🎉 Less is more, except when it comes to unexpected guests hiding behind random granite décor. 😂 #MinimalistMaximalistParty

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Commentary:
"Whoever said diamonds are a girl's best friend clearly hasn't experienced the cheesy goodness that shredded cheese brings to the table! 🧀💎 Move over diamonds, cheese is the real MVP in this friendship game! 😂"

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

My friend’s kid asked me if I had any games on phone so I let her text my ex.

Commentary:
Looks like the best game to play on a phone is Messaging Your Ex! 📱🔥 Who knew getting a response was the ultimate high score? 😂 #GameOnExes

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

My friend says to me, “What rhymes with orange?” And I told him, “No, it doesn’t.”

Commentary:
Looks like your friend got stuck in a linguistic lemonade stand trying to find a rhyme for orange! 🍊🤣 It's a tough one, but at least you were on hand to serve up some wordplay!

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Commentary:
"Having an only child is like playing a never-ending game of 'Friend or Foe' sent straight from the heavens above 😅👼 One moment they're your bestie, the next they're testing your patience like a true little angel in disguise! Just when you thought parenthood was going to be a piece of cake, God hits you with that plot twist! 🍰👶 #ParentingPerks #BlessedButStressed"

Dear Snapchat memory, that's not my friend anymore.

Dear Snapchat memory, that’s not my friend anymore.

Commentary:
"Dear Snapchat memory, please delete that ex-friend like you delete my embarrassing snaps! 🙅‍♂️📸 #ByeFelicia"

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

Commentary:
"Friendship level: Expert! 🙌👻 When your pals understand that your ghosting moments are just your way of becoming a mysterious legend. Who needs a seance when you've got friends like these! 😂👻 #GhostingPro"