Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

I’m done with self-care. Time to learn some spells.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has shared:

Restaurants: put your phone down, live in the moment. Also, scan our QR code and browse our menu.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

Sometimes a man’s purpose is to simply remind you again and again that you’d be just fine on your own.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has shared:

My three favorite things are eating my family and not using commas.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has copied:

Not sure how to flirt, but I can make things awkward if you’re into that.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has viewed:

Less talkie. More kissie.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has bookmarked:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Watering plants qualifies as a hobby.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,624

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Pinterest:

Water is a drink whose flavor is its temperature.

Going viral on Messenger:

Everyone’s all up in arms about how undemocratic the electoral college is and yet we let our weather be decided by a single unelected groundhog.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Seen just now on Slack:

You’re either really good at wrapping presents or you’re really beautiful and funny. It’s one or the other.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Me before grocery shopping: only healthy foods, no impulse buys, I can do this. Me during grocery shopping: they make chocolate filled marshmallows?

Seen just now on Slack:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Spreading quickly via Threads:

It’s so cold, I’m using Chrome instead of Firefox to read the news on my phone, because I need the ads to warm up my phone and hands.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

Did you get the telepathic message I sent earlier?

Breaking via LinkedIn:

The problem with dating apps is I don’t wanna date someone that would use a dating app.

Freshly posted on Slack:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

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Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Threads this month:

I’m on this new diet where I don’t consume anything that talks to me before the first coffee.

71 shares on Instagram this month:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

55 shares on WhatsApp this month:

My doctor told me I should try anger management classes, and I’m still really pissed at him about it.

48 shares on Telegram this month:

If I say goodnight and an hour later you see me online, it’s not that I lied; it’s just that I failed.

20 shares on Instagram this month:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

46 shares on Pinterest this month:

Ever since I was a little girl, I knew I wanted to skirt the issue.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Headless mannequins are great because they let you see how you’ll look wearing a new shirt after you’ve been decapitated.

67 shares on TikTok this month:

When I get married, I want my wedding video to be filmed like it’s an episode of The Office. I want camera zooms, eye contact, side commentary— all of it.

77 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve skipped midlife crisis and gone straight to birdwatching.

24 shares on Slack this month:

Having a crush is so fun, it’s literally just butterflies and delusion.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I want to have a penguin that just waddles up to me whenever I’m sad.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Roses are red. Daisies are white. I’m in a grumpy mood. My underwear is too tight.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I try to find the good in every situation. Wait, no – that was a typo. Food. I try to find the food in every situation.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Me: Please let me sleep! Brain: Nope, we have to stay up together and go over every bad life decision we have made so far.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I am such a fun person and so easy to get along with as long as the layout I have secretly imagined for the entire day goes exactly as I planned it without variation or interruption.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

After weeks of using an anti aging cream, I can now proudly say: I now have very well-maintained wrinkles.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re reading a book in public, you better be on at least page 140 or something.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Welcome to your 40’s: oh you like surprises? here’s another chin. Surprise!

14 folks are currently checking 👀

In the event of a water landing, place the life jacket over your head and swipe your credit card to inflate.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Pretty cool that we all come together on Christmas and celebrate the birth of Santa.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,754

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

At the job interview with one AirPod in.

Someone from 🇲🇻 has bookmarked:

Sorry, I’m late. My alarm didn’t go off because I didn’t set it, because I don’t want to be here.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has copied:

His voice was like whiskey. Smooth with a slow burn that lit me up from the inside.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

My cat’s in a bad mood, despite eating and sleeping all day.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has shared:

God invented war so that Americans can learn geography.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has bookmarked:

Imagine if social media closed every day at 6pm like a shop.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has viewed:

Driving a newer car is like “Oh weird, this one doesn’t have Shake on Highway, maybe they stopped making that feature”.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has downloaded:

Quitting my job to focus more on my desire not to work anymore.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Can we all agree that Mini Cooper drivers need to put an extended flag on the back of their cars so the stalls where they’re parked stop looking empty?

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Discord:

When you get angry, take a breath and count to ten. Throw a punch at eight. Nobody expects that.

Making waves on Slack:

Songs discovered from movies are usually a masterpiece.

Live now on TikTok:

You can’t tell me there’s anything better than earplugs; I simply will not hear it.

Going viral on Pinterest:

Geopolitics for dudes is like pure sex. Almost like the male mind was built for this.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I don’t know if I’m pregnant or what, but I’ve been craving 3 million dollars so bad.

Making waves on Pinterest:

If you like Christmas so much, why don’t you merry it?

Spotted on Snapchat:

Not single, not dating, but a secret third thing (quantum entanglement).

Freshly posted on Telegram:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally text them, and they will respond.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Not all angels are in heaven, me for example, I’m at work.

Broadcasted on Twitch:

The police said I was a ‘suspect’, but I prefer being called a ‘person of interest’.

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