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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇿 has viewed:

Every night at bedtime I do one small ritual: six hours on my cell phone.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I can’t wait for my mom to come to my new house so she can tell me how I organized the kitchen wrong.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has copied:

Breaking news: you’re way less interesting than you think you are.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I just want what every middle-aged person wants: to remember what it was that I wanted.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has shared:

My New Years resolutions are to do some things, and stop doing some other things.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has viewed:

I used to have this mental illness, where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Someone from 🇦🇬 has copied:

Karma has taught me to never laugh at a stranger being attacked by a seagull.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has viewed:

Monday: The only day when you can wear the same outfit from the day before without anyone noticing.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has downloaded:

My biggest fear is waking up and being in the Renaissance era or something. Imagine having the knowledge of hot dogs but lacking the tools to make them.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has copied:

A burrito is just a sleeping bag for beans.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Dec 27, 2025

3,731

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Facebook:

The ultimate student paradox: skipping class to avoid stress, only to stress about skipping class!

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Windmill? Big fan.

Making waves on Facebook:

Met my soulmate again today: mashed potatoes and gravy.

Just shared via Pinterest:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Making waves on YouTube:

I know I’m almost 40 because I had a few drinks last night and woke up this morning thinking: Oh no I bought so many socks online last night.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Why aren’t we using these t-shirt cannons for burritos?

Making waves on YouTube:

I’ve added lunges to my workout routine. It’s a big step forward.

Trending via X:

Someone called me strict today, and that means a lot to me because I’m a recovering people pleaser.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Body by sandwich.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Things were better when the computer lived in its own specific room, and you only went in there sometimes.

Home » Funny Humans Quotes

34 Funny humans quotes

Funny humans quotes bring out the silly side of our everyday lives 🤪✨ From awkward moments to quirky habits, these gems capture the hilarious chaos that makes us uniquely human 😂🧠 Ready to laugh at ourselves and share some lighthearted vibes? Let’s dive into the world where humor meets humanity, and smiles are guaranteed! 😄🙌

New funny humans quotes 👇

Why do humans need jobs? Why can’t I just exist and make art and chill with my cat?

0

1 week ago

art, cat, chill, exist, existence, human, humans, i, job, jobs, just, need, relaxation, why
Being anti-AI right now feels like being one of the few unbitten humans in a zombie apocalypse.

0

2 weeks ago

AI, anti-AI, apocalypse, being, comparison, feels, human, humans, humor, right, zombie, zombie apocalypse
Dogs have two jobs: calm their humans when they are stressed. Stress their humans when they are calm.

0

1 month ago

animal, animal humor, behavior, calm, dog, dogs, funny observation, human, humans, humor, jobs, observation, pet, pet behavior, relationship, stress
I hope one day I will sleep before midnight like normal humans do. Every day I sleep tomorrow, even yesterday I slept today.

0

1 month ago

bedtime, before, day, even, every, hope, human, humans, humor, i, insomnia, management, midnight, normal, normal human, procrastination, sleep, time, time management, today, tomorrow, yesterday
Daily reminder that you’re biologically programmed to get laid, eat good food, connect with other humans, and enjoy yourself. Everything else is literally made up.

0

2 months ago

advice, biologically, biology, connect, connection, daily, eat, else, enjoy, enjoyment, everything, food, fun, good, human, human connection, humans, humor, laid, life, life advice, literally, motivation, reminder, yourself
There should be an Olympics where athletes can take as many drugs as they want. Like, to hell with y’all, let’s see how high humans can really jump.

0

2 months ago

athlete, athletes, competition, drug, drugs, hell, high, human, humans, humor, jump, Olympics, performance enhancing drug, performance-enhancing, satire, should, sports, take, want, where
Do the people who make chairs know what humans look like, or nah?

0

2 months ago

chairs, design, ergonomics, humans, humor, know, people, questioning, sarcasm
Humans are the only species that would cut down trees, make paper out of them, and then write “Save the Trees” on it.

0

2 months ago

conservation, cut, ecological, environment, humans, humor, irony, nature, only, paper, paradox, sarcasm, save, trees
The biggest joke on mankind is that computers have started asking humans to prove that they are not robots.

0

2 months ago

AI, asking, automation, captcha, computers, humans, humor, joke, mankind, parody, proof, prove, robots, technology
Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

0

2 months ago

abduction, alien, alien abduction, board, bring, due, extraterrestrial, fee, free, humans, humor, inflation, joke, longer, own, probes, purchase, required, sci-fi, sci-fi joke, space, space humor

For even more funny humans quotes, hit next 👇

All funny humans quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

🎁🎅🎄 Christmas Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on Telegram this month:

If kids these days had a perfume, it would be called Audacity.

45 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Monday morning looks like Jack Nicholson breaking through the door in The Shining.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

How did we decide to go with cockpit?

10 shares on Discord this month:

Yes, money alone does not make you happy. It has to be yours too.

41 shares on YouTube this month:

Easiest way to ragebait a finance bro is to start the ‘why can’t we print more money’ conversation.

71 shares on Twitch this month:

They charge you for the groceries and then they charge you for the toilet paper when you turn the groceries into poop. Open your eyes!

47 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Two people had sex and now I’m fighting for my life everyday.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I am thinking of watching a movie with my boyfriend. Can anyone recommend a good boyfriend?

86 shares on WeChat this month:

I can’t believe someone ran over my neighbors loud motorcycle tomorrow morning.

15 shares on Facebook this month:

Maybe I’ll quit so I can focus on summer.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hate when the iPhone corrects ‘Omw’ to ‘On my way!’. Man, I am not that excited.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I love reaching into my messy bag looking for something and everyone around me hears like glass breaking and bombs going off and a cat meowing from inside there.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

My chess strategy is eating one of your pieces every time you look away.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

“You’re like cherry lip gloss. I just can’t get enough.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Reading about two insects who fall in love in Italy. It’s a Rome ants novel.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I enjoy a glass of wine each night for its health benefits. The other glasses are for my witty comebacks and flawless dance moves.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m now at the age where happy hour is a nap.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

My future wife is probably fake laughing at her boyfriend’s lame jokes right now. Be patient, Queen, a true clown is on the way.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If I was a priest, I’d make my side of the confession booth really big so I could run around.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

531 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,124

Funny Quotes Topics

17,272

Funny Quotes Images

15,124

Updated

Dec 27, 2025

Users Online

3,998

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

Nobody supports you like that one internet friend you’ve never met.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has copied:

Painted all of my red flags orange for fall.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has shared:

I actually love talking to strangers, they will unknowingly say some shit that shifts your perspective, and you never see them again.

Someone from 🇺🇦 has downloaded:

I drink all this water and for what. Just to pee? This planet is a prison.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

The subtle art of letting yourself go crazy once in a while.

Someone from 🇸🇻 has viewed:

I used to eat my feelings but now it’s so expensive, I might as well go to therapy.

Someone from 🇸🇧 has viewed:

Social media may have been a mistake.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has bookmarked:

Once when I was exercising, I realized that I was allergic to it. I was out of breath, sweating and my heart was racing.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

A sandwich has the power to change your entire life.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Clearing her mind with a brisk walk along the foggy shoreline.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Pinterest:

I’m at the age where, if you ask me to go out after 9 p.m., I’m definitely not coming.

Just landed via Snapchat:

One of the biggest struggles of being an adult is deciding what to make for supper. Every. Single. Night.

Just shared via Instagram:

If I could be in two places at once, I’d be in bed twice.

Just landed via Slack:

If you can’t look back at your younger self and realize that you were an idiot, you are probably still an idiot.

Just shared via Threads:

If your god commands you to kill others, find another god.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Smile like a monkey with a new banana.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Love to come home after a long day’s work and relax with one thousand short-form videos.

Trending via Discord:

I know everything is expensive right now, but just remember correcting people’s grammar online is still free.

Just shared via Telegram:

Apparently, telling your friends not to stress about their wedding because “it’s your first marriage” is not the right thing to say.

Shared recently on Reddit:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

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