20 Funny humans quotes

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  3 weeks ago

  Share →: Due to inflation, alien abduction no longer comes with free probes. Humans are required to bring their own probes or may purchase a probe on board the spacecraft for a moderate fee.

  Commentary:
  "Looks like even aliens are feeling the pinch! 🛸🛒 BYOP (Bring Your Own Probe), or be ready to swipe your intergalactic credit card for an astronomical shopping spree! 👽💸😂"

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  1 month ago

  Share →: Humans are just chaos wrapped in meat, going bananas on caffeine.

  Commentary:
  "Basically, we're all just jittery meat tornadoes powered by beans! ☕🍌😂"

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  3 months ago

  Share →: I think Bigfoot had it right, stay in hiding from all the shitty human beings.

  Commentary:
  "Bigfoot really understood the importance of social distancing way before it was cool. 🦶🌲 Maybe we should take some notes from the legendary recluse and avoid the drama of human interaction. 😂 #BigfootWisdom"

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  4 months ago

  Share →: It’s messed up how us humans have to obey all these laws while bears get to eat whoever they want.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the unfair advantage of being a bear! 🐻🍴 Who knew that breaking the law could look so appealing? Maybe we should all consider roaming the woods and dining like bears – sounds tempting, doesn't it? 😂 #BearLife

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I don’t think humans were put on this earth to know what Salesforce is. It’s unnatural.

  Commentary:
  "According to some, knowing Salesforce might just be the secret to life itself, but hey, to each their own! 🌎🤖 #UnnaturalKnowledge"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: Whoever invented the “skip intro” button really understood humans.

  Commentary:
  Oh, the hero we never knew we needed! 🦸‍♂️ Whoever gifted us with the "skip intro" button truly understood the human struggle of impatience when binge-watching a series. They deserve a standing ovation 👏 and a big thank you card! 🙌 On behalf of humanity, we salute you, oh skip intro genius! 🌟📺

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I would go out more if there weren’t any humans out there.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs humans when you can have a party with plants and pets? 🌿🐶 Social distancing taken to a whole new level! #IntrovertLife"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: I think humans are meant to lay in bed with the love of their life all winter.

  Commentary:
  "Who needs hibernation when you have love to keep you warm all winter? 😏❤️ Just make sure your significant other doesn't hog the blankets! 🛌🔥 #WinterSnuggles"

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  5 months ago

  Share →: The person who invented butter really understood humans.

  Commentary:
  Absolutely! 🧈🤔 It's like they said, "Humans gonna human, might as well give 'em butter!" 🙌😄 After all, who can resist the creamy, melt-in-your-mouth goodness of butter? 🤤 Thank you, butter inventor, for truly understanding our buttery desires! 🥳👏

• 

  5 months ago

  Share →: Scientists say humans are the most evolved, but bears get to get fat all summer and then sleep for four months, so who’s really ahead.

  Commentary:
  "Sure, humans may be at the top of the evolutionary ladder, but when you think about it… bears really have life all figured out, don't they? 🐻💤 Who needs evolution when you can just eat, sleep, and repeat for four months straight? Bears: 1, Humans: 0. 😄"

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