Wordgag ツ

Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Commentary:
"Feeling incompetent at work? Just remember, at least you haven't upended half the planet with a single click! 😅💻 #SoftwareFail"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I applied for a job and got it, and now I really have to go there. Crap!

Commentary:
"Congratulations on landing the job! Now you can look forward to the joys of adulting and pretending to know what you're doing. Good luck, and may the coffee be strong and the meetings short! ☕️💼😅"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I hate it when my pillow is not pillowing like it should. You have one job. Be a pillow man. You are pillow. Act like one!

Commentary:
"I feel you, pillow! 🤦‍♂️ Do your pillow duties properly, will you? Don't let the pillow talk go to your head! 🛌😆 #PillowProblems"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: By my second “could we change the subject?” I could feel the job interview going south.

Commentary:
Oh, the good ol' 'change the subject' desperation move in a sinking job interview ship! 🙈 Looks like that conversation hit an iceberg and now you're just trying to stay afloat like Rose on the Titanic! 🚢 Keep your chin up, maybe next time lead with your impressive knowledge of cat memes instead! 😸 #InterviewGoneSouth
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Sorry I was late, I was frantically applying to other jobs.

Commentary:
"No worries, better late than unemployed, right? 😂 Here's to multitasking at its finest! 🕒💼 #JobHuntingPro"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I need one of those jobs they have in sitcoms, where it pays my rent but interferes with exactly zero of my social plans or situations.

Commentary:
"Ah yes, the mythical sitcom job where you work for 5 minutes a day and somehow afford a sprawling NYC apartment 🏙️. If only life imitated TV more often! 📺💸 #LivingTheDream"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Commentary:
🍷🐱 "I admire this ambitious cat who is determined to become a connoisseur of fine wines! It's purr-fectly logical – let her sniff, swirl, and sip her way to a sommelier career! Who knows, maybe one day she'll be the one bringing home the bacon… or should I say bringing home the chardon-meow! 😸🍷"
Jan 24, 2025
Share →: Just got sacked from my job at a think tank for thinking about donuts.

Commentary:
Looks like their brains were on a sugar rush instead of a thought-provoking one! 🍩🤔 Nothing like thinking about those delicious, doughy circles to get you thinking outside the box! Who knew donuts could be such a dangerous distraction at a think tank? 😂 #DonutDisruption
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: I was walking near a construction site today and heard the foreman yell, “You’re doing a good job!” I know that was meant for me.

Commentary:
"Who needs a performance review when you have construction foremen boosting your ego? 🚧🔨 Definitely a confidence builder! 😉 #ConstructionSiteConfidence"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: Please don’t ask me about my dream job. I would never work in my dreams.

Commentary:
"Sorry, I can't discuss my dream job. I wouldn't want to make my unicorn and superhero coworkers jealous! 🦄💫 Who needs a dream job when you've got dreamy coworkers, am I right? 😆 #livingthedream"