Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: When my wife packs for a trip she basically moves out.

Commentary:
"Looks like your wife takes 'packing light' to a whole new level! 🧳🏠 When she says 'going on a trip', she means business! 😅 #WifeGoals"
6 months ago
Share →: The only thing I gained so far this year is weight.

Commentary:
Looks like your New Year's resolution of gaining life experiences took a wrong turn and instead you gained a few pounds! 🍔🍕 But remember, you're not just gaining weight, you're gaining gravitational pull too! 💪😄 #NewYearNewMeNotSoMuch
6 months ago
Share →: I think my leftovers are old enough to throw themselves away.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the magical time when leftovers start developing autonomy 🍲🤖. They are probably having a party in your fridge while plotting their escape mission! Time to set them free, brave soul 😄👋."
6 months ago
Share →: There’s no need to put a little umbrella in my drink. It’s already wet.

Commentary:
"Who needs a tiny umbrella when your drink is already making a splash! 🍹☔️ Your glass is full of attitude and moisture – no extra accessories needed! 😄💦"
6 months ago
Share →: I didn’t go to the Carribean, my tan is from standing in front of the rotisserie chicken at Costco.

Commentary:
"Well, who needs a beach when you've got Costco's rotisserie chicken as your personal sun lamp? 🌞🍗 Who needs a tropical vacation when you can have a golden glow and a full stomach, all in one trip to the store? 😂 #CostcoChic"
6 months ago
Share →: I tiptoe near my medicine cabinet because I don’t want to wake my sleeping pills.

Commentary:
"Approaching the medicine cabinet like a burglar sneaking past a guard dog, for who wants to disturb the slumber of those precious sleeping pills? 😴🚪💊 #SilentNight"
6 months ago
Share →: I’m homeless. Minus the ‘m’.

Commentary:
"Technically, I'm just 'homeless' – no 'm' involved! 🏠➖🧑‍🚫 Now accepting applications for a new 'ome' 😉 #WordplayWednesday"
6 months ago
Share →: Why isn’t there a mosquito that sucks fat?

Commentary:
Well, imagine a world where you could get rid of excess pounds simply by shooing away a mosquito – talk about a weight loss hack worth buzzing about! 🦟💪 Don't worry though, knowing mosquitoes, they'd probably just end up sucking the joy out of dessert instead. #MosquitoDietGoals 🍰😂🔥
6 months ago
Share →: When I die, I want to come back as a speed bump so I can piss people off.

Commentary:
"Imagine the satisfaction of causing traffic jams and slow commutes in your afterlife as a rebellious speed bump! 😈🚗 Just make sure to bring your 'Slow Down' sign to complete the look! 😂 #SpeedBumpRevenge"
6 months ago
Share →: The pizza delivery guys say “see you tomorrow” to everyone, right?

Commentary:
Of course! Here you go: 🍕😄 "The pizza delivery guys must have the best job security – they basically say 'see you tomorrow' to half the city! Who needs a crystal ball when you have a stack of pizza boxes? 🔮🍕"