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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇿 has viewed:

What’s wrong, babe? You’ve hardly touched my mixed signals.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

If you start a sentence with “Let me reiterate…”, I’m gonna ignore it the second time too.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has shared:

Netflix should’ve just maybe mailed us all this fight on DVD.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has viewed:

Hey boy, are you the sun? Because you were a big part of my life this summer but now I feel like I never see you.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Nothing tops a plain pizza.

Someone from 🇲🇲 has viewed:

I’d enjoy summer a lot more if someone came by hourly and misted me like produce.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇲🇺 has downloaded:

I just hit the back arrow on a website, and it took me to a page that said, “Before you leave.” No. I already made the decision.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

People who live in glass houses should install frosted glass around the toilet part.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

241 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,510

Funny Quotes Topics

17,577

Funny Quotes Images

15,510

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,533

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Ask your girlfriend for her ring size and then give her a personalized bowling ball.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

I’m not sure my body can handle much more of this “getting out of bed” nonsense.

Just shared via WeChat:

Uber Eats “you forgot to finish your order” notification is funny because I didn’t forget, I just came to my senses.

Spotted on TikTok:

Due to personal reasons, I’ll be turning you into a poem.

Shared recently on Twitch:

I’ve got a neighbor who’s really into morons. I should introduce her to you guys.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Can I get back all those naps I refused to take as a kid? I could really use them now.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Not pretty enough for Instagram, not funny enough for Twitter. Welcome to WhatsApp status.

Just landed via TikTok:

Marriage tip: If your wife goes silent in the middle of an argument, you probably shouldn’t ask if you can go back to mowing the lawn.

Going viral on Instagram:

In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

I touched grass today, and I’m still like this. Please advise.

Funny lotus quotes

New funny lotus quotes 👇

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

0

2 months ago

cautionary, cautionary tale, humor, lotus, taking, tale, time, time off, vacation, white, White Lotus, work

Someone from 🇮🇪 has recently copied this quote.

81 shares on Facebook this month.

All funny lotus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

69 shares on WeChat this month:

Has anyone seen my invisibility cloak?

28 shares on Threads this month:

I won’t bore you with my problems because all of my problems are fascinating.

98 shares on Threads this month:

WFH is so great until you realize you’ve walked about 17 steps all day.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

That moment the doorbell rings and you tip toe to the window pretending you’re not home.

88 shares on Instagram this month:

I won’t rest until a cure for insomnia is found.

99 shares on Reddit this month:

Sorry, can’t. I took my bra off and threw it across the room an hour ago. There’s no coming back from that.

46 shares on WeChat this month:

“Too much garlic”? What’s next? Too much love? Too much desire?

19 shares on Discord this month:

Everyone you don’t like in your personal and professional life is a narcissist.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Everyone is all “love is patient” during the wedding, but when there’s a long line for the open bar, not so much.

61 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve been following this strict diet all week and so far all I’ve lost is my patience.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has viewed:

My new coffee table book, “Accidental Screenshots,” is available for pre-order now.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has shared:

Post beach shower is undefeated. Greatest feeling a human could experience. Throw a nap in there, and you will never touch serenity so close.

Someone from 🇨🇴 has bookmarked:

I have found that there is usually a lot of day left at the end of my patience.

Someone from 🇹🇲 has viewed:

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

Me (seductively looking at a potato): would mash.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has copied:

“Apple Music has better sound quality!” Okay, but my entire life is on Spotify, my playlists are my children.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has viewed:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Telling the cop I’ll give him his nose back if he lowers his firearm.

Someone from 🇿🇼 has bookmarked:

If someone drunk texts you, appreciate it. They’ve thought of you when they can barely think straight.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

DUI stands for: don’t Uber, I got this.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Snapchat:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Just shared via Facebook:

You don’t need to leave a message in a bottle. If the bottle is full of tequila, I’ll get the message.

Seen just now on WeChat:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Just shared via Threads:

Voice messages. Just call, goddamnit!

Shared recently on Twitch:

A little mischievousness is good for the soul.

Going viral on Messenger:

If there are parallel realities, I really hope they’re not as stupid as this one.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I want to make you say, “Oh God,” in a way that makes God nervous.

Trending via Reddit:

“Stop thinking about it.” Wow, thank you, I am cured. You should write a book.

Live now on WhatsApp:

I’d make room in my pillow fort for you.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Always keep a dog eared book on your nightstand so that people think you know how to read.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny lotus quotes

New funny lotus quotes 👇

White Lotus is a cautionary tale about taking time off from work.

All funny lotus quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨