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Someone from has bookmarked:

Just found out about confirmation bias, and now every article I read totally proves I was right to be worried about it.

Someone from has shared:

More often than not, I read applause as applesauce.

Someone from has bookmarked:

You try to fart in the toilet in the morning without waking the whole house and thanks to the brilliant acoustics of the toilet bowl, the horn of Gondor sounds.

Someone from has downloaded:

My signature move is waving at someone who is waving at the person behind me.

Someone from has viewed:

The adult version of “head, shoulders, knees and toes” is “wallet, glasses, keys and phone.”

Someone from has copied:

Let the example of my fluke success guide nearly all of you to crushing disappointment.

Someone from has downloaded:

The only traditional costume people around me wear is sweatpants.

Someone from has viewed:

If I ever go missing, check the snack aisle. I’m probably just deciding.

Someone from has shared:

If you have to remind them to give a shit, remind yourself not to.

Someone from has copied:

Just when you’ve built some confidence that you’re a smarter than average human, universe sends you captcha.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2265 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,427

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15,132

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12,427

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Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on YouTube:

I’m never more unattractive than when a bee flies in my face.

Just landed via WeChat:

I’m no doctor but I’m pretty sure this Santa-shaped chocolate oughta settle my stomach.

Just landed via Twitch:

My grandmother is a shining example of how you can live until 90 years of age, sustained by nothing but spite and biscuits.

Spotted on Twitch:

One day I’ll do amazing things. Today I’ll be satisfied if I don’t spill food on my lap.

Seen just now on Threads:

I knew I had issues when motivational speakers started to irritate me.

Seen just now on Telegram:

“Do what you love and you’ll never work a day in your life.” Yeah, because I won’t be leaving my bed.

Seen just now on WeChat:

There is a reason I’m single and it’s called my face.

Shared recently on WeChat:

When I write “I hope this email finds you well” I’m referring to the email’s skills in tracking you down.

Reported on Messenger:

I don’t do “casual.” I’m like an 18th-century vampire. When I fall in love, my devotion is boundless and eternal.

Spotted on Slack:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Home » Funny Mind Quotes » Page 4

92 Funny mind quotes

More funny mind quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: I used to have this mental illness where I thought logical arguments would change someone’s mind.

Commentary:
"Ah, the good old days when my superpower was 'argue-man-tation' 🦸‍♂️🧠🤯 Turns out, people wear 'logic-repellent' like it's perfume! 😂🌀"
3 months ago
Share →: Isn’t it weird we have a little voice in our head, like the one you’re using to read this?

Commentary:
Haha, so my inner voice is basically my own hype squad! 😂🧠🎉
3 months ago
Share →: Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?

Commentary:
😂🤦‍♂️ "Of all the things to lose, why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind?" Classic case of priorities gone awry! Who needs a missing appetite when you have a wandering mind making unexpected disappearances? 🤪 Just imagine misplacing your appetite and finding it curled up with your socks in the laundry basket! 🧐 #LostAppetiteBrainStillIntact
3 months ago
Share →: “It’s all in your head!” Correct! Unfortunately, I am also in there.

Commentary:
"I thought I had a one-track mind, turns out it's more like a crowded party bus 🧠🚌 #MindMeldingProblems"
4 months ago
Share →: I don’t mind being the villain in your story because you’re a clown in mine.

Commentary:
"Sure, be the villain in their story – after all, they're just a clown in yours! 🤡💥 Who needs a hero when you've got a comedy show to watch unfold? 😆 #VillainVsClown"
4 months ago
Share →: Whoever said “Out of sight, out of mind” never had a spider disappear in their bedroom.

Commentary:
"Whoever said 'Out of sight, out of mind' clearly never had a spider magician in their bedroom! 🕷✨ Disappearing arachnids are the true masters of surprise and sudden terror 😱🪳"
4 months ago
Share →: Next time I lose my mind I swear I’m not even going to look for it any more.

Commentary:
"Who needs a mind anyway? Losing it just adds a little excitement to life 🤪🔍 But seriously, losing your mind can be the ultimate adventure – who knows where it might end up next! 🌪️😂"
4 months ago
Share →: I would go out of my mind, but I can’t find the exit.

Commentary:
"Looks like the mind is a maze with no escape route in sight! 🧠🚫🆘 Maybe a mental GPS could come in handy here! 😆🗺️"
4 months ago
Share →: Of all the things to lose why couldn’t it have been my appetite and not my mind.

Commentary:
"Ah, the eternal struggle between waistline and brain cells. If only we could misplace our cravings instead of our keys – we'd all be so much smarter, and much hungrier!"
4 months ago
Share →: It may look like I’m doing nothing, but in my head I’m quite busy.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic case of looking like a chilled cucumber on the outside, but inside your brain is a raging storm of to-do lists, ideas, and existential musings. Who knew appearing zen could be such hard work?"