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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

I just got lied to by 3K+ people. That recipe was awful.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

I feel like an adult spelling bee would humble a lot of us.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

No, I mean, it’s great toast. I just didn’t expect it to be French.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Does bisexual mean twice as sexual or once every other sexual?

Someone from 🇨🇻 has viewed:

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

I don’t like violence, but I don’t mind if I get hit by luck.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has bookmarked:

Golf is a great way to learn all of the new curse words your subconscious has been cooking up in the lab.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has viewed:

“Well at least I don’t have to wake up any more.” Is what I want my tombstone to say.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has viewed:

Do you scroll through Netflix to find a good show for your dog to watch when you leave the house or are you normal?

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

“Don’t take this the wrong way!” Translation: Prepare for insult.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,434

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Roses are red. Blue got me thinking. I reckon it’s time for some excessive day drinking…

Spotted on X:

Deeply unfair of people to assume I have my life together just because I’m boring.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Shared recently on Instagram:

Nobody knows what to do with me and I just think that’s beautiful.

Going viral on Messenger:

May life treat you exactly the same way you treat servers, store clerks, senior citizens, children, and animals.

Just landed via Telegram:

My tattoo means that I can’t be trusted with $200.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

Caught my husband staring at me again. He’s probably weighing his pros and cons.

Seen just now on Reddit:

Ever since I began sharing dad jokes, my followers have doubled in sighs.

Just landed via Messenger:

The idea that the zombies in the 28 Days series exist entirely in Britain is genuinely hilarious. The rest of the world saw that and was like, “Yeah, they can handle it on their own.”

Spotted on Threads:

What do you even say when someone knocks on your bathroom stall … like, what’s the protocol?

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2316 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,478

Funny Quotes Topics

15,183

Funny Quotes Images

12,478

Updated

52 minutes ago

Users Online

3,456

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

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Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇰 has bookmarked:

I avoid drama by being unpopular.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

All my life choices led me to this post right here, and if that’s not an indictment of free will, I don’t know what is.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Half princess, half menace.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

Someone from 🇳🇬 has downloaded:

Petition to add fitted sheet folding to the olympics.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has bookmarked:

Your fingers have fingertips, but your toes don’t have toetips. Yet, you can tiptoe but not tipfinger.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has bookmarked:

I wasn’t planning on moving, but I was just invited to the neighborhood fall potluck, so I guess now I have no choice.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has shared:

My plumber asked me for a Google review. I said I thought it was a really good search engine and I’d give it 8/10.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

Sorry for bouncing my leg. I’m not allowed to bash my head into the walls anymore.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on WeChat:

Everyone is gangster until they’re asked to reveal a “fun fact” about themself as part of a work event icebreaker.

Broadcasted on TikTok:

People who often talk to themselves are more intelligent than others. At least that’s what I tell myself.

Just landed via WeChat:

People say opposites attract, but I say find a partner who’s deranged in the same ways you are and double your capacity to be annoying.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Welcome to your 40s. You now pay for 7 streaming services, only use 4 and can’t remember the password to any of them.

Trending via Slack:

After an hour on this team meeting I’m not wanting to be a team player anymore.

Freshly posted on X:

I visited my doctor today. He told me my sugar was too high. So I came home and moved it to a lower shelf.

Spotted on Slack:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

Shared recently on Instagram:

I think the world is ready for a fat James Bond.

Going viral on Slack:

Before we all die from nuclear war or a global climate crisis, can we get a little alien invasion as a treat.

Breaking via X:

My bank account may not be full but my sink, laundry basket and arteries sure are.

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