137 Funny misunderstanding quotes — Wordgag ツ

Told my girlfriend that Mum is deaf, so speak loud and slow. Also told Mum that my girlfriend has special needs.

4 hours ago4 hours ago

When the salesman from the hearing aid company calls, I stay on the line and answer every question with ‘What?’

7 hours ago7 hours ago

I don’t understand the phrase “You can’t have your cake and eat it” because if I have cake, what the hell else am I supposed to do with it.

24 hours ago24 hours ago

I’m like a semicolon, most people don’t know what to do with me.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I’m sorry for the things I said when there were too many noises at the same time.

2 weeks ago2 weeks ago

I have lived way too many lives for people to think they know everything about me.

3 weeks ago3 weeks ago

Was in a bookshop and asked a worker if he could recommend books to me. He said, ‘Sure, they’re great.’

4 weeks ago4 weeks ago

Imagine sex with me. No, not like that, you’re doing it all wrong!

1 month ago1 month ago

Your honor, I was under the impression it was hammer time.

1 month ago1 month ago

When old people say, “Long as you happy,” that means you’re pretty dumb.

1 month ago1 month ago

I’m not speaking to my husband, and I don’t think he even knows it.

1 month ago1 month ago

People who think naps are a waste of time obviously don’t understand how naps work.

1 month ago1 month ago

I was telling my sister that I’ve been going to the gym recently, and my nephew said, “You should go inside when you get there,” and I don’t think I’ll ever recover from that.

2 months ago2 months ago

IP address? You mean the bathroom?

2 months ago2 months ago

Every time I ask my husband to bring me something out of my purse, without a doubt, he’ll bring me my whole purse. Why are purses so scary to men, lol.

2 months ago2 months ago

You can’t confuse me. I already don’t know what’s going on.

2 months ago2 months ago

Ozzy Osbourne has mumbled through entire sentences, and I still understood him better than most of my exes.

2 months ago2 months ago

People thinking you’re dumb is one of the best advantages you can have.

2 months ago2 months ago

I tried explaining crypto to my nine-year-old, and she said, “It sounds like someone is trying to sell you their imaginary friend.”

2 months ago2 months ago

When I said there’s no such thing as a dumb question, I didn’t expect them to take it as a personal challenge.

2 months ago2 months ago