Funny quotes misunderstanding

82 Funny misunderstanding quotes

It’s not my fault that when I said you looked “stunning” you assumed I meant in a positive way.

2 weeks ago

For years I thought an oncologist was just the doctor they kept on-call at all times.

3 weeks ago

I’ve asked so many people what LGBTQ stands for. So far no one has given me a straight answer.

3 weeks ago

Little kid on the plane to Boston says “do they speak English there?” and his mom says “kinda!”

4 weeks ago

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out.

4 weeks ago

The phrase “don’t take this the wrong way” has a 0% success rate.

1 month ago

Time machine? You mean a clock?

1 month ago

The first time I saw a kiwi I thought it’s a potato with fur.

1 month ago

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

1 month ago

“You’re acting weird!” I’m not acting.

1 month ago

I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.

2 months ago

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

2 months ago

In my defense, Your Honor, I grossly misunderstood the meaning of Boxing Day.

2 months ago

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

2 months ago

My bad if I ever left you on read. I didn’t mean to open the message.

2 months ago

I think my dog always follows me to the bathroom because I always follow him outside and he thinks that’s the way it works.

3 months ago

You’re mistaking me with someone who’s stupid.

3 months ago

Imagine hating me and I’m just here trying to push a door that says pull.

3 months ago

You misunderstood me. I said I was a “bawler,” not a “baller.” You know, someone who cries a lot.

3 months ago

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

3 months ago