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Funny mysterious ways quotes

God: “I used to work in mysterious ways but now I’m unemployed.”

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I know there are bigger problems in the world right now, but I’ve just realized I’ve never seen a baby seagull. - 26 shares on WhatsApp this week.
Most women need a little reassurance. Like when she says “oh, you want to see crazy?” Reassure her that you do not. - 18 shares on Telegram this week.
Why did they have to bleep out everything R2D2 said? - 20 shares on Telegram this week.
I need to hire someone to just constantly slap food out of my hand. - 53 shares on WhatsApp this week.
No thanks, social media influencers. I prefer making decisions the old-fashioned way: under the influence of alcohol. - 69 shares on Snapchat this week.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

8,002 funny quotes and pics

11,376 funny quotes topics

Updated: 1 hour ago

Trending Funny Quotes 🔥

Every retail employee should get to hit one customer a year and there is no way for customers to tell if they’ve used it yet. - 2 folks are currently viewing this quote.
You’re in his DMs, I’m outside his window with a JBL speaker streaming Taylor Swift. - 7 folks are currently viewing this quote.
After much deliberation, I’ve come to the conclusion that I’m an overthinker. - 6 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Yes, I sometimes put my cell phone down. Especially when it rings. - 6 folks are currently viewing this quote.
Sorry I was late, I was waiting for my CVS receipt to finish printing. - 4 folks are currently viewing this quote.

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