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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Graduation advice: Stay cool. Don’t be a fool. Avoid being a tool.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has viewed:

I only use ‘sir’ disrespectfully.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has shared:

My parents didn’t raise me to be rude, I had to practice.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has shared:

We all have that one coworker whose sole purpose is to reduce our life expectancy by ten years.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has shared:

Can’t believe we used to throw eggs at houses, and now we can afford neither eggs nor houses.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

An apple a day may keep the doctor away, but some silly a day keeps the boredom at bay.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

90% of the ocean is unexplored, which means there could be a McDonald’s down there.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

Candy cigarettes really used to be a thing and we really bought them and walked around like we were smokers at the tender age of 6.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Aliens will always remain unidentified because they’re embarrassed to be associated with us humans.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’m not religious but I know there’s a hell because Monopoly exists.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

41 minutes ago

3,439

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Slack:

First caveman to see fire: Well, this is a buncha bullshit that no one needs (stomps it out) and I predict that’s the last I’ll ever see of that.

Going viral on Instagram:

I’m a person who wants to do a lot of things trapped in the body of a person who wants to sleep a lot.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

I love how all the movies about teenagers have to be set in the 90s or earlier otherwise we’d just be watching kids on their phones for two hours.

Spotted on Telegram:

I would like to thank my arms for always being by my side, my legs for always supporting me, and my fingers, because I can always count on them.

Just shared via Discord:

You can always gauge my mood by the type of animal videos I share: sweet puppy videos or a cat smacking the shit out of someone.

Going viral on YouTube:

I don’t have a favorite vampire. If you ask me, they all suck.

Just shared via Facebook:

Every time I buy vegetables it’s a triumph of hope over experience.

Trending via Twitch:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Live now on X:

Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

Going viral on Instagram:

Dates are weird, like, okay I guess I’ll dress up for my romantic interview.

Home » Funny Need Quotes

332 Funny need quotes

Funny need quotes are all about those moments when you “need” something in the most dramatic way possible! 😩💥 Whether it’s a cup of coffee, a vacation, or just five more minutes of sleep, these quotes highlight the humorous side of our deepest (and sometimes ridiculous) needs. Who knew “need” could be so funny? 😂☕⏳

New funny need quotes 👇

3 hours ago
Share →: I really feel like we need to have more fun in life, because literally nothing matters.

Commentary:
Why not dance like nobody's watching when even the universe has no idea what's going on! 🌌🕺🎉
3 days ago
Share →: Coffee ain’t gonna cut it today, I need to be chased through the woods by a machete-wielding maniac.

Commentary:
Looks like caffeine has met its match—initiating survival cardio mode! ☕️🏃‍♂️💀
4 days ago
Share →: If you’re dating an alpha female, you need to know that they need to be babied at night, or else they will turn into a dragon.

Commentary:
Sounds like a fire-breathing bedtime story is part of the nightly routine! 🐉🔥😴
5 days ago
Share →: You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Commentary:
Just started my kombucha fan club—our meetings are literally a gut feeling! 🍹😄
5 days ago
Share →: I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Commentary:
Leveling up to 'Human Espresso' status! ☕🚀😎
5 days ago
Share →: I need to be more disciplined and stop procrastinating, starting tomorrow.

Commentary:
Procrastination level: expert 😅⏳ Maybe I'll join you… tomorrow!
7 days ago
Share →: I need to stop saying “Oppa Gagnam Style!” to fill in awkward pauses in conversation.

Commentary:
Sounds like you're breaking the ice with a dance battle invitation! 💃🕺😅
7 days ago
Share →: Sometimes people just need you to be genuine with them, and I personally have no problem pretending to do that.

Commentary:
Pretending to be genuine? I'm a pro at that — my Oscar's in the mail! 🎭😂
1 week ago
Share →: We need a Disney princess who’s a greedy profiteer, so we can cheer for the poison apple.

Commentary:
When a Disney princess takes an MBA: "Mirror, mirror on the wall, who's the richest of them all?" 🍎💰👑
1 week ago
Share →: I hate when cashiers feel the need to check if my money is real. If I could make counterfeit money, I wouldn’t be at the Dollar Tree, Karen.

Commentary:
"Karen, if I had that skill, I'd be at Gucci, not grabbing bargains at the Dollar Tree! 👜💰😂"

For even more funny need quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny need quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

41 minutes ago

3,419

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇳 has viewed:

Those eyes ain’t gonna roll itself, let me help you.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has copied:

In a room full of art, I’d still stare at you.

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

The folks who write fragrance commercials must be like “I had the weirdest dream, Imma put it on TV.”

Someone from 🇸🇨 has bookmarked:

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has viewed:

Summer: 10 minutes outside, 10 hours in front of the AC.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has copied:

I never judge a book by its cover. People, though, I can tell are evil by their stupid faces.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has bookmarked:

According to the web, caffeine deficiency is a life threatening condition for people around you.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has bookmarked:

If Shakespeare were being born today, he’d be “Shaxxespyr.”

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Every McDonald’s should have a flag they fly at half mast when the ice cream machine is down.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Facebook:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

My dog just tracked and successfully located a folium lanceolatum, more commonly known as a leaf.

Making waves on Twitch:

Whoever said diamonds are a girl’s best friend clearly has never met shredded cheese.

Going viral on Telegram:

My chakra went out for cigarettes.

Trending via Twitch:

I put the “pro” in procrastinate.

Seen just now on Slack:

Being a woman is hard. You always want to buy something, slap someone, lose weight and eat something sweet.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

Trending via Threads:

If stores want to accurately display clothes for people over 40, the mannequins should be laying on a couch.

Trending via Reddit:

The term “domestic housewife” implies the existence of a feral housewife and that is what I aspire to be.

Shared recently on Telegram:

My tween would like you to know I ruined his life when I told him to stop being super sus and cringe and be more lit yo.

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