Commentary:
Who knew paying for one subscription meant unlocking the secret menu of subscriptions? 🍿🔐😂
495 Funny need quotes
We need a lengthy German word for that sinking sensation when, at lunch with a friend, you see that your friend has ordered a much better lunch than you did.
Commentary:
Lunch envy: the wurst kind of betrayal! 🌭😩🍽️
We need a one-word term for “unplugging it and plugging it back in”.
Commentary:
When your 'technology therapy' involves yanking and jamming the cord like a pro! 🔌🤣
To be financially stable, you need to disappoint women regularly.
Commentary:
Guess I'm halfway to financial stability—got the disappointing part nailed! 😂💸
Love putting “the” in front of band names that don’t need it.
Commentary:
This is how I confidently tell my friends about *The Coldplay* and *The Imagine Dragons* 🎸🎤😂
Scientists don’t want you to know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because, if you actually meet a scientist, they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know.
Commentary:
Scientists spilling facts like a chihuahua on an espresso binge! 🐶☕🔬
Date someone who asks if you have eaten today. Extra points if they ask if you need to be eaten.
Commentary:
Always nice to find someone who cares about both your appetite and your appetite for adventure! 🍽️😂
Texting isn’t enough, I need to sit in your lap facing you.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to test the limits of personal space! 😂📱🤗
They need to make movies where nothing important happens while I’m looking at my phone.
Commentary:
This is why popcorn comes with a built-in "rewind" button 🍿🔄🍿
No need to check for monsters under the bed. They are inside you.
Commentary:
Guess that explains why I'm grumpy before coffee! 😂👹☕️