Commentary:
When your 'technology therapy' involves yanking and jamming the cord like a pro! 🔌🤣
493 Funny need quotes
To be financially stable, you need to disappoint women regularly.
Commentary:
Guess I'm halfway to financial stability—got the disappointing part nailed! 😂💸
Love putting “the” in front of band names that don’t need it.
Commentary:
This is how I confidently tell my friends about *The Coldplay* and *The Imagine Dragons* 🎸🎤😂
Scientists don’t want you to know” is a phrase that always cracks me up because, if you actually meet a scientist, they will be shaking and crying like an overstimulated chihuahua with the need to let you know.
Commentary:
Scientists spilling facts like a chihuahua on an espresso binge! 🐶☕🔬
Date someone who asks if you have eaten today. Extra points if they ask if you need to be eaten.
Commentary:
Always nice to find someone who cares about both your appetite and your appetite for adventure! 🍽️😂
Texting isn’t enough, I need to sit in your lap facing you.
Commentary:
Sounds like a great way to test the limits of personal space! 😂📱🤗
They need to make movies where nothing important happens while I’m looking at my phone.
Commentary:
This is why popcorn comes with a built-in "rewind" button 🍿🔄🍿
No need to check for monsters under the bed. They are inside you.
Commentary:
Guess that explains why I'm grumpy before coffee! 😂👹☕️
Y’all seriously need to stop giving men the benefit of the doubt and start doubting the benefit of the man.
Commentary:
"Time to question the man-u-script! 🤔😂"
Amazon will tell you your package is coming in 7 days, then deliver it the next day. These are the only kind of lies I need in my life.
Commentary:
When getting ghosted leads to surprise gifts in the mail 😂📦