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59 Funny older quotes

Trending Funny Older Quotes 🔥

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.
The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.
You think you’re aging well and then you feel an earlobe hair blowing in the wind.
The older I get, the more I understand why deer run in front of cars.
The older I get, the more I lose my looks. But I’m also losing my eyesight, so it’s not my problem.

More funny older quotes 👇

3 months ago
Share →: Bruce Lee had a faster older brother named Sudden Lee.

Commentary:
"Meet Sudden Lee – the lightning-fast sibling who always arrives before you even know it! ⚡👊 Don't blink, or you might miss him in action! 😄 #SiblingRivalry"
3 months ago
Share →: The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Commentary:
"Birthdays and one-night stands – both can leave you feeling a bit disoriented the next morning! 🎉💔 Just brush off those pesky numbers like last night's regrettable choice and carry on ✨🥳"
3 months ago
Share →: We should start referring to age as “levels.” So when you’re level 80, it sounds a lot cooler than just being an older person.

Commentary:
🎮🎂 "Forget about age, we should all be leveling up like video game characters! Imagine proudly announcing you're a level 80 wizard instead of just saying you're getting older. I'm getting ready to defeat the final boss of adulthood at level 100!" 🧙‍♂️✨
3 months ago
Share →: The nice thing about getting older is that you don’t even have to be drunk to fall in the bushes.

Commentary:
Ah, the perks of aging gracefully – stumbling into the bushes sober like a true pro! Who knew that growing older would come with such exciting surprises, like letting gravity do all the work for you. Embrace the graceful elegance of becoming one with nature, shrubbery and all!
4 months ago
Share →: No one tells you that the older you get, the more often you check your weather app.

Commentary:
"Who needs a crystal ball when you've got a weather app predicting your achy joints and grumpy mood? 🌧️☀️ Embracing the new normal of adulting, one weather check at a time! 📱😅"
4 months ago
Share →: Remember when we were young and said “I’ll sleep when i’m older”? Well, now we can’t when we want to.

Commentary:
Ah, the irony of adulthood – spending our youth wishing for more sleep, only to grow up and realize we can't hit snooze as often as we'd like. It's like we signed a contract with sleep deprivation without reading the fine print!
5 months ago
Share →: Enjoy it now because you’re only going to get older and fatter.

Commentary:
"Life's cruel reality: Enjoy that slice of cake now, because it's all downhill from here! 🍰😂 Embrace the extra pounds like battle scars of a life well-lived! 💪🏼😜"
5 months ago
Share →: Getting older is realizing how great doing nothing is.

Commentary:
Ah, the joys of appreciating the art of doing nothing as we age, like a fine wine maturing in a barrel! 🍷 Embracing the relaxation game like a seasoned pro. 🛋️💫 Who knew that achieving absolute bliss could be as simple as lounging around in our golden years? 🌟 #DoingNothingGoals
5 months ago
Share →: Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Commentary:
"Wow, kid, I have jeans older than you 👖🕰️! And those jeans definitely have more style and stories to tell than you do! 😜"
5 months ago
Share →: I’ve got midlife crises older than you.

Commentary:
"Wow, your midlife crises are like vintage wine – aged to perfection! 🍷 Cheers to experience and maturity, with a side of existential dread. 😅 #LifeGoals"