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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

When my husband says he’ll just be a minute, I know I have enough time to watch an entire television series, paint the house, or go on a quest.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

I’ve learned my lesson so many times that I could be a teacher.

Someone from 🇲🇾 has copied:

All of my passwords are protected by short-term memory loss.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has bookmarked:

Women who don’t check a man’s phone will still use their intuition and dreams to find out if he’s cheating.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

No one comes off looking worse than the third party who was asked to interfere in a couple fight.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has bookmarked:

When it rains in New York, the train starts smelling like hamster.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has bookmarked:

ROMO (relief of missing out)

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

Most of being a woman is just removing exclamation points from emails before you send them.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has downloaded:

I hate hotel bath towels. So thick and fluffy, I can’t even close my suitcase.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has downloaded:

Oh I’m sorry, did the middle of my sentence interrupt the beginning of yours?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,998

Funny Quotes Topics

13,940

Funny Quotes Images

10,998

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WhatsApp:

I need a break from me.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Nobody says “boom shakalaka” like they used to.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Just gonna drink light beers today, because I don’t wanna get drunk but I do enjoy peeing 30 times.

Making waves on Telegram:

Don’t ever let your computer feel that you’re in a hurry, cause they’re gonna slow down more.

Reported on Discord:

Drive as I say, not as I drive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Just shared via Slack:

Still can’t believe we have a federal holiday to celebrate the 1996 hit movie Independence Day.

Just landed via Facebook:

Bacon should be free for anyone having a bad day.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

How coked up was the guy that came up with Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?

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Funny online identity quotes

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New Funny Quotes
Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,998

Funny Quotes Topics

13,940

Funny Quotes Images

10,998

Updated

4 minutes ago

Users Online

3,432

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Why does it take 5-7 business days to refund my money when it took 5-7 seconds to take it out of my account?

Someone from 🇯🇲 has viewed:

My rapper name would be 2 stressd.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has copied:

British people be like “I’m Bri ish” cause they drank the “T”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has bookmarked:

In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has shared:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

Me: “I’m still young.” My bones: “No, we not.”

Someone from 🇹🇱 has bookmarked:

I need a job where I don’t actually have to work.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

I feel like we’re all just angry and horny.

Someone from 🇱🇺 has copied:

If I was ever told to “dress to impress”, my first thought would be to get the Batman suit out.

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Telegram:

I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I can feel your energy from two planets away.

Just landed via Facebook:

My favorite part about talking to my teens is when they give me direct eye contact, listen intently, nod understandingly and then do the exact opposite of what I just said.

Spreading quickly via Reddit:

Why is sugar SO addictive, and broccoli is just like, “I’ll be here when you need me”

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The new generation will never know what heartbreak feels like with wired headphones that have a loose connection.

Making waves on Twitch:

I find as I get older it’s the little things that bring me joy. Like embarrassing my children.

Live now on Messenger:

I’m sorry, I didn’t realize that you’re an expert on my life and how I should live it! Please continue while I take notes.

Going viral on Reddit:

Boys say that girls are dramatic, but have you ever plucked a man’s eyebrow? They act like they’ve been shot.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Spotted on Facebook:

Thinking about writing my own eulogy because I don’t want my loved ones to say I’m a control freak.

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