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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇬 has bookmarked:

If humanity is so smart, how come it took thousands of years after the wheel was invented for someone to put them on a suitcase?

Someone from 🇰🇷 has shared:

People should be able to call in healthy: “Look, I’m not coming into the office today. I feel really good and I don’t want to waste it on being at work.“

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

I really admire the suns ability to be exactly where my car’s visor can’t block it out.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Architects should try and design a house with no yelling.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Babies first steal your glasses and then bite your nose. I don’t know where they get their reputation.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has downloaded:

I’m terrified of escalators, so I’m taking steps to avoid them.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has shared:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has viewed:

I need to find hobbies that don’t include my debit card.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has bookmarked:

One thing I have noticed about getting older is having to stop for a short nap halfway through scrolling down to my year of birth when completing online forms.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has copied:

I put the hot in psychotic.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,998

Funny Quotes Topics

13,940

Funny Quotes Images

10,998

5 minutes ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Discord:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.

Going viral on Telegram:

Having Christmas off in the middle of the work week and then forcing us to go back to work the next day feels so illegal.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Shared recently on Threads:

The best essential oils are the ones that drip out of Tacos.

Just landed via Telegram:

I’ve arrived like the sun: blinding, necessary, and impossible to ignore.

Just landed via Twitch:

Dear ads, I have the buying power of a Victorian milkmaid.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Just landed via Threads:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Shared recently on Discord:

Even wild things have slow mornings.

Home » Funny Deception Quotes

Funny deception quotes

Funny deception quotes bring a cheeky twist to the art of trickery 😜💡 Whether it’s playful fibs or clever misdirection, these witty lines make lying look like a hilarious game 🎭😂 Perfect for sparking laughs and keeping things light, dive in and enjoy the fun side of fooling around! 🎉🤫

New funny deception quotes 👇

6 days ago
Share →: “I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Commentary:
I knew my thesaurus addiction would eventually pay off! 📚😅 #WhyUseGPTWhenYouHaveJargon
1 week ago
Share →: One thing I hate more than a liar is a liar that thinks I’m dumb.

Commentary:
When you catch a liar in the act, but they still think they're in the Olympics of deception 🏅😒🤦‍♂️
2 weeks ago
Share →: As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Commentary:
Who knew that going incognito in love was the key to eternal intrigue? Just call me "Mystery McMysteriousface." 🕵️‍♂️💘
2 weeks ago
Share →: People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Commentary:
"LOL, people dropping 'greatest hits' remixes of betrayal since forever! 🎶🙃 #PlotTwist"
1 month ago
Share →: Everyone’s “the nicest guy ever” until the cops are in their backyard digging up several bodies.

Commentary:
"Wow, talk about taking 'being the life of the party' a bit too literally! 😅🔎🚔 #PlotTwist"
1 month ago
Share →: It’s way too easy to lie online. I was just telling Beyoncé about that the other day.

Commentary:
"Totally agree! Just texted Batman about it 😂🦸‍♂️🎤"
2 months ago
Share →: Tried online dating, and it turns out my soulmate is a Nigerian prince who needs my bank details to escape his kingdom.

Commentary:
"Guess true love really *is* priceless—or at least requires a 6-digit PIN! 👑💌💸"
6 months ago
Share →: Lying to stupid people can give you a profound sense of satisfaction, it can also make you president.

Commentary:
Ah, the timeless strategy of deception for success – seems like some people take it to heart a little too enthusiastically! 🤥💼👨‍💼 Just remember, honesty is still the best policy…unless you have political ambitions, apparently! 🏛️🤣 #TruthIsOptional
6 months ago
Share →: I don’t believe in lying to children, unless it’s about where the good snacks are hidden. Then it’s fine.

Commentary:
"Teaching valuable life lessons one snack at a time. 🤫🍪 Because sometimes a little white lie is necessary for the greater good…of our taste buds! 😋 #SnackGate"
6 months ago
Share →: You should tell different people completely different things about yourself so that they then get into arguments when gossiping about you.

Commentary:
"Ah, the art of creating chaos through strategic gossip fodder! 😏 Mixing it up like a cocktail of conflicting information, watch the drama unfold as your friends play a high-stakes game of 'He said, she said!' 🍹🔥 Just remember to grab some popcorn and enjoy the show! 🍿😂"

For even more funny deception quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny deception quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

836 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,998

Funny Quotes Topics

13,940

Funny Quotes Images

10,998

5 minutes ago

3,443

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇹 has shared:

Dance like China isn’t watching.

Someone from 🇹🇻 has copied:

“Seize the day!” No thank you. I will leave the day alone and hope it extends me the same courtesy.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has viewed:

I’ve decided to become an organ donor. When I die, I want an elephant to get a new trunk.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

“I’m still young”, I tell myself, as my knees make popping noises while standing up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Money doesn’t impress me. Giving it to me does.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has copied:

I just ordered a life alert bracelet, so if I ever get a life, I’ll be notified immediately.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

“I asked ChatGPT,” “I asked Grok.” Well, I just made some shit up, and people believe me because I’m well read and use big words.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Please stop adding touchscreens to cars. Most of these idiots can barely drive as it is.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has viewed:

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

Someone from 🇸🇿 has shared:

So, if I take out a reverse mortgage on my house does that mean I’ll own a bank after 30 years?

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Messenger:

One or the other, Lord – I can’t be broke and heartbroken.

Shared recently on Messenger:

I always preferred the English spelling of “diarrhea” which is “diarrhoea” because it really looks like you’ve lost control of your vowels.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

Seize the day! Unless it sucks. Then seize the next one.

Going viral on YouTube:

I am not responsible for what my face does when you talk.

Just landed via X:

Sorry about all the mean stuff I said when I was right.

Shared recently on Messenger:

My wife and I always eat dinner as fast as possible so we can have a popsicle.

Trending via YouTube:

The only thing I gained this year is weight.

Broadcasted on WeChat:

So many songs that tell you to throw your hands in the air like you just don’t care, so few about the hazards of ceiling fans.

Just shared via Instagram:

Where do they get the seeds to plant seedless watermelons?

Trending via TikTok:

New COVID variant subscribes you to random podcasts.

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