Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has bookmarked:

Bad news. Right now is as young as you’re going to be.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has copied:

My body is like my phone battery. Usually drained by 4pm.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Whenever someone asks me if my dog is adopted I respond with, “no, she’s biologically mine.”

Someone from 🇧🇪 has downloaded:

My Facebook friends are like my pen collection. I have 100 but only one writes.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

“Autism didn’t exist until recently!” Have you met old guys who work in hardware stores?

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

Have kids so you can fully appreciate how well your dog listens.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has downloaded:

She calls me Anthony Bourdain because I eat her parts unknown, no reservations.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

One day you’re cool and then the next, you realize your favorite pair of pants are sweatpants from the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

Check yourself before you Shrek yourself.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

Forrest Gump is a haunting film about how long you have to wait for a bus in America.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Jan 20, 2026

3,586

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Facebook:

I always knew I’d get old. How fast it happened was a bit of a surprise though.

Trending via X:

You got beef with me, but none in your fridge. That’s why you’re mad. You’re hungry.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Super excited about a brand new day of ignoring my problems.

Going viral on Telegram:

Sometimes a girl has to delete all the apps on her phone and not speak to anyone for a week to find true happiness.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Of course women need more pockets, where are we supposed to hold all of our grudges?

Making waves on Telegram:

Forget carrying me to bed; carry me to the end of the workweek. Then we can talk.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Dollar Tree need to just go ahead and change the name to Tree of Unexpected Prices.

Making waves on Slack:

Life is really sucking the life out of me.

Freshly posted on X:

I always carry a knife with me in case I run into someone with 10,000 spoons.

Freshly posted on Discord:

If robbers ever broke into my house and searched for money, I’d just laugh and search with them.

Funny original quotes

Funny original quotes bring a splash of laughter 😂 and a twist of wit 🧠 to brighten your day! Whether you need a clever comeback or just a giggle 🤪, these gems keep the mood light and the smiles wide. Perfect for sharing with friends or spicing up your captions 📱, dive into a world where humor meets creativity in the most unexpected ways! Ready to chuckle? Let’s go! 🎉

New funny original quotes 👇

Ummmm, no, I don’t watch ‘Instagram Reels.’ I have TikTok. I like to get my brain damage directly from the original source.

6 hours ago

brain, brain damage, damage, humor, i, Instagram, Instagram Reel, media, original, original source, reel, social, social media, source, TikTok, watch
Just pulled a Werther’s Original out of my pocket, like I’m 87 years old.

1 day ago

age, candy, humor, joke, just, old, old age, original, pocket, snack, werther’s, Werther’s Original
My dad must pay my monthly cell phone bill as atonement for his original sin of creating my consciousness.

1 day ago

atonement, bill, cell, cell phone bill, consciousness, creating, dad, family, humor, monthly, original, original sin, pay, phone, responsibility, sin
Grok, is this true? Grok, am I original? Grok, am I the only one? Grok, am I sexual?

2 months ago

am, doubt, grok, i, identity, introspection, only, original, originality, questioning, self, self-doubt, sexual, sexuality, true, uniqueness
If you burned CDs for the car so your original copies wouldn’t get scratched, it’s time to schedule your colonoscopy.

2 months ago

aging, car, cd, colonoscopy, health, humor, joke, life, life joke, medical, medical joke, original, protection, schedule, technology, time
“American Pope” sounds like the name of an Amazon prime original series you ignore.

2 months ago

Amazon, Amazon Prime, American, culture, entertainment, humor, ignore, media, name, original, parody, pop, pop culture, Pope, prime, satire, series, sery, sounds, wordplay
You want me to go apple picking? The original sin?

2 months ago

activity, apple, humor, joke, me, original, picking, reference, sin, temptation, want
Going to ask seven friends for advice and then execute my original plan.

2 months ago

advice, ask, decision making, friends, going, humor, original, plan, procrastination, strategy
My therapist is so lucky. I’m like a Netflix Original that pays her to watch.

3 months ago

entertainment, humor, Netflix, original, pay, self-awareness, therapist, therapy, watch

All funny original quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

94 shares on X this month:

Maybe the reason Miss Piggy is still single is she has a fear of kermitment.

93 shares on Messenger this month:

When people say they’re speechless, I always hope they mean it, but they never stop talking.

85 shares on WeChat this month:

Every time I have to leave the house and be around people I remember why I hate having to leave the house and be around people.

94 shares on X this month:

Does everyone in the world want to come to my house tomorrow?

34 shares on Discord this month:

In general, I like company, but not when I am with my pizza.

21 shares on Messenger this month:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

59 shares on Instagram this month:

I like to put “No DMs” in my bio to pretend that I’m attractive.

49 shares on Pinterest this month:

Many greetings from my coffee. Y’all are talking too much again.

84 shares on WeChat this month:

Vanilla perfumes are so nice. It’s like walking into a bakery but you are the bakery.

64 shares on X this month:

I need a long hot meteor shower.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

The three people who like every single one of my posts are going in my will.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

They should invent health insurance that insures your health.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

My optimism doesn’t come out of thin air. A flask is involved.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Girls will be like “it’s fine” then start drawing a pentagram in blood on their floorboards.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to leave work early if you are really in love.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Kids be like, I see you have a moment to yourself, and I must correct that immediately.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a kid is so fun when you’re childish, like yeah, it’s my turn with the slime, boo.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Yes, we absolutely can push our meeting to sometime after the new year, or mid-March, or the year after next, or never.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

My handwriting makes a pharmacist look like a calligrapher.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,244

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has viewed:

Save tons of money on a weighted blanket by sleeping under the mattress.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

Please don’t celebrate April Fool’s day if you’re not a fool. My culture is not your costume.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has viewed:

Why call it a “step dad” when you could have called it a faux pas?

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

I wanna marry someone funnier than me, but sadly, I am the funniest.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has downloaded:

Might mess around and reply, “That sounds like a you problem,” to every work email today.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

The cheapest way to fly is off the handle.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has copied:

If you can’t beat them, arrange to have them beaten.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has downloaded:

I miss when The Weeknd was making sex-addict-on-drugs music.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Babe, are you OK? You’ve barely touched your unread books.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

“You replied so quickly.” God forbid I wait like a dog to hear from you again.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Discord:

It’s weird when you realize that what you thought was rock bottom was actually somewhere around rock middle.

Just landed via X:

Why did they call it K-pop and not Seoul music?

Breaking via Facebook:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Going bananas on Facebook:

I am not in a good place, geographically.

Freshly posted on Twitch:

Yes, I’d love to learn your family card game. I’m sure it won’t be excruciating at all.

Making waves on YouTube:

In my retweeting era, because I’m just speechless.

Just shared via Twitch:

I let my cat smell every wine I drink so she can get a job as a sommelier and help pay my rent.

Spotted on Snapchat:

By the way, if you don’t buy anything on Black Friday, you can save up to 100%.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Just seen a guy with a Coca-Cola and yellow Lay’s chips. Classic combo, he knows his stuff.

Breaking via Snapchat:

Make your salad taste better by putting it between bread, meat, cheese, and Big Mac sauce.

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