Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Commentary:
🛣️🏡 "I'm not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway! Who knew being a driveway parent could be so tough? Guess I'll stick to keeping my roads less traveled for now!" 😄
6 months ago
Share →: It turns out when someone asks who your favorite child is, you’re supposed to choose from your own. I know that now.

Commentary:
"Note to self: apparently, 'all of them' doesn't count as a valid answer when asked about your favorite child 🤷‍♂️ Lesson learned… the hard way 😅 #ParentingStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Digging my own grave, because I gotta do everything around here.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's got a shovel and an ambitious to-do list! 💪🕳️ Who knew multi-tasking could be so… thrilling? 😅 #DIYGraves #GraveMistakes"
6 months ago
Share →: People who own banana costumes will wear that shit to anything.

Commentary:
"Banana costume owners: always ready to peel out and make a fruity fashion statement, no matter the occasion 🍌😂 #bananagoals"
6 months ago
Share →: Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs.

Commentary:
🍆🐣 "Bought an eggplant, imma grow my own eggs – who knew gardening could be so punny? Talk about farm-to-table in a whole new way! 🌱🥚 #eeggcellent"
6 months ago
Share →: The enemy of my enemy is my friend. But I’m my own worst enemy, so I guess I’m also my best friend.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic love-hate relationship with oneself! Who knew being your own worst enemy could also make you your best friend? 🤔🤷‍♂️ Remember, always keep your friends close and your enemies… well, apparently even closer because they might just be you! 😄👯‍♂️"
6 months ago
Share →: I just tried to groom my dog myself, and I now fully understand why the dog groomer charges more for a haircut than my own stylist.

Commentary:
"Oh, the trials and tribulations of DIY dog grooming! 💇‍♀️🐶 Who knew those furry friends could be such demanding clients? Maybe it's time to leave the styling to the professionals and stick to the simple tricks like fetch and belly rubs. 😉 #DogGroomingStruggles"
6 months ago
Share →: Now that food has replaced sex in my life, I can’t even get into my own pants.

Commentary:
"Who needs love handles when you've got snacks to hold on to? 🍔🍟 Looks like this is a case of sacrificing intimacy for instant noodles. 🍜🤷‍♂️ Embracing the foodie life, one bite at a time… even if it means struggling with zippers. 👖😂 #FoodieProblems"
6 months ago
Share →: Wouldn’t it be nice if you could donate your own body fat to those who need it more urgently?

Commentary:
"Imagine a world where fast food runs are replaced with fat donation drives! 🍔💪 Don't fret, those extra slices of pizza might just save a life! 🍕🦸‍♂️ Who needs a superhero when you can be a fat-healer! 💥😂"
6 months ago
Share →: UK rappers be like “I’ve got a posh flat and my bird is very comely, I own more motors than the marchioness of cholmondeley”

Commentary:
Looks like these UK rappers are living in a British soap opera where poshness and fancy car counts matter more than rhymes! 🎩🚗👸 Maybe they should consider a career switch to acting as aristocrats instead of spitting rhymes about their high-class lifestyles! 💰🎤