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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

If I were in charge of Nike, I’d change the slogan to “Just Say You Did It. Nobody Ever Checks.”

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

I’m not being mean. I’m just too old to pretend to like you.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Did you know that it’s actually possible to say, “I don’t know enough about this to have an opinion”?

Someone from 🇬🇲 has bookmarked:

Dear God, thank you for the job I have. But if you have a lottery win planned for me, I’m ready! Thank you.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

I’m sorry, but when you call me ‘batshit crazy’ it’s almost starting to sound like you think it’s a bad thing!

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I had to treat myself to a sweet goody today to distract my mind from the horrors of life.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has downloaded:

Men need women, women need men. The end.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

One day you’re young and fun and the next you’re saying, “What kind of trees are those?”

Someone from 🇺🇸 has downloaded:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

Someone from 🇺🇦 has bookmarked:

Quitting my job to focus on being in love.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,459

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

The pumpkin was invented in 1942 when a watermelon put on a pair of corduroys.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

The internal struggle between wanting to be productive and just wanting to nap all day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Presumably, if you had a time machine, you could just kill young adult Hitler. The baby part seems gratuitous.

Going viral on Snapchat:

We often come across people in life who make us think: “Oh look, evolution takes a break too!”

Spotted on YouTube:

Weekends are a scam. You spend one day exhausted and the other anxious… like, what was that?

Freshly posted on Slack:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Making waves on Reddit:

“I’m not falling for that again,” I say, as I’m about to fall for whatever that is again.

Trending via WhatsApp:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I’m not always annoying, sometimes I sleep too.

Spotted on Slack:

I don’t need a psychic to tell me which planets make me sad. It’s earth.

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Funny oyster quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2321 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,483

Funny Quotes Topics

15,188

Funny Quotes Images

12,483

Updated

38 minutes ago

Users Online

3,463

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has bookmarked:

Half the world is mentally ill. The other half is to blame.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

I want to be so rich that when I see a spider in my house I won’t kill it, I’d buy another house.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has copied:

Stop roasting yourself, you’re not a marshmallow.

Someone from 🇰🇳 has bookmarked:

Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has viewed:

To anybody who thinks being self-employed means you don’t have to work for a boss you hate, I have terrible news.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

Next time I feel incompetent at my job, I hope I remember that someone once pushed a live software update that crashed half the planet.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has downloaded:

Think like a crazy person, and then you’ll understand.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

My mirror needs a screenshot button.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I miss when The Weeknd made haunted strip club music. Didn’t know how good I had it.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

I bought a robot vacuum today. Named it “Dustbin Bieber”.

Broadcasted on Slack:

I have been putting a lot of thought into it, and I just don’t think being an adult is going to work for me.

Just landed via Threads:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Broadcasted on Snapchat:

No better feeling than getting home and realizing you forgot the one thing you went out for.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Selling porn is gross, but selling food and small household items is grocer.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Judging by the hair on my couch, I’m surprised I have any cat left at all.

Spotted on Slack:

I never sit around waiting for anyone except for the pizza delivery guy.

Just shared via Twitch:

Forgot how fun it is to post IG stories. I feel like a female filmmaker.

Seen just now on Instagram:

I like waiters. They bring a lot to the table.

Spreading quickly via WhatsApp:

I’m accused of being a plagiarist. Their words, not mine.

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