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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

Men microdose bicuriousness by asking what you’d do for a million dollars.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has shared:

I’d stalk me too, I get it.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

I think airplanes would be way cooler if the wings flapped like a bird.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Getting a wife is very powerful, because you get a personal psychic that will tell you things like, “Your keys are in the gray pants in the hamper,” and “He will ultimately betray you.”

Someone from 🇯🇲 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we all sit extremely still, Monday won’t be able to see us.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has viewed:

Someone asked, “Can I bum a scroll?” because they deleted Instagram off their phone.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

Not to brag but I always pick the slowest moving checkout line at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has downloaded:

I would describe my personal style as whatever is on top of the pile of clothes on the floor.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has downloaded:

No, they’re not “symptoms of depressions.” They’re Blue’s Clues.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has shared:

The only exercise I done last month was running out of money.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,294

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Reddit:

I’m going to get some steel wool so I can crochet myself a new car.

Trending via Snapchat:

Jesus died for your sins. If you don’t sin then he died for nothing!

Shared recently on Slack:

Did you seriously just pique my interest?

Spotted on WhatsApp:

That moment when you realize “yeah, this person is never gonna hear from me again” is so crazy.

Going viral on Instagram:

I just love the lack of privacy in the pharmacy line. Just standing there shouting out my name, date of birth, and exactly what is wrong with me for the world to hear.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Starting an OnlyFans, but it’s just videos of me trying to use chopsticks.

Going viral on Reddit:

A blind guy felt my face and said, “Wonderful.”

Live now on WhatsApp:

Just paid my bills. The only thing left on my card is my name and expiration date.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

If they played poker with potato chips, I’d have a gambling problem.

Live now on WeChat:

Never underestimate my desire at any given moment to go home.

Funny piecing together quotes

New funny piecing together quotes 👇

All funny piecing together quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

40 shares on Reddit this month:

Capri Sun tastes as if scientists had bet that they could make fruit juice without fruit.

20 shares on TikTok this month:

Tattoo idea for men: spider webs in the corners of the receding hairline.

49 shares on Messenger this month:

She was rare, like a shopping cart at the grocery without a wobbly wheel.

39 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s so hot to me when a man has a poorly run Instagram account.

91 shares on X this month:

Don’t ever forget where you came from. That’s where you left your car.

63 shares on Facebook this month:

I’m so old, I still keep special moments in my heart and not in my Insta story.

56 shares on Discord this month:

Keep scrolling, I’ve got nothing.

28 shares on Discord this month:

I don’t need all of these heat advisory warnings on my phone. I’ve been outside. I have skin. I know.

92 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’ve just learned terrible news. My department at work is planning a team-building retreat. Thank you for your thoughts during this difficult time.

53 shares on TikTok this month:

Me at a nightclub: Where are the chairs?

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

8 folks are currently checking 👀

At the Pride and Prejudice showing booing whenever Prejudice comes on screen.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I was explaining to my Ukrainian colleague the phrase ‘There’s no such thing as a free lunch’. She told me the equivalent in Ukrainian is ‘The only free cheese is in the mousetrap’ — which is so much better.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Due to personal reasons, I must make it in life.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

38% of being a dad is sitting in a car, looking at your watch, and waiting for everybody else to come out.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Valentine’s Day this week. If you have a crush on me we still have time to get cards and shave.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope whoever came up with the spelling for Wednesday was punished for their actions.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re getting old when you can’t walk past a bathroom without thinking, “I may as well go while I’m here.”

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanks to social media, you can now meet weirdos from the comfort of your own home.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Your honor, when I said I wanted to be held, I didn’t mean in contempt.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

244 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,513

Funny Quotes Topics

17,581

Funny Quotes Images

15,513

Updated

Jan 7, 2026

Users Online

3,372

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇬 has copied:

My favorite color is money.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has bookmarked:

I need an Apple Watch that tracks when my patience runs out.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

The weather forecast should include the percentage of answers blowing in the wind.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has viewed:

I was about to stop overthinking, then I thought of a giraffe having a sore throat.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has shared:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has copied:

You don’t scare me. You’re not a parking garage that I can’t figure out how to get out of.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

Seeing an animal sigh is so funny to me. Like, what happened, buddy?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Some people identify as funnier than they actually are.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has shared:

I love my new crockpot. Now we can wait longer to eat my horrible cooking.

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Can’t. Typing a password into a TV.

Freshly posted on X:

Sorry, I can’t hang out. I don’t know enough words.

Just shared via Twitch:

If you ever ask a teen to do something and they just say “sure” without arguing, check that they haven’t been replaced with an android.

Seen just now on Instagram:

The French only eat snails because they don’t like fast food.

Seen just now on Facebook:

If I like cleaning? Does Sisyphus like his boulder?

Breaking via Twitch:

Saw the eye doctor, and that’s 90% of the vision test right there.

Spotted on Snapchat:

Don’t go chasing waterfalls? The place where many video games hide easter eggs and other rare items?

Going viral on Pinterest:

One day we will tell our grandkids how far we had to scroll to get to the recipe.

Making waves on X:

I got Botox, and I asked the doctor, “How many years younger will this make me look?” and he was like, “Zero. You’ll just look like the other girls your age who have also gotten Botox.”

Just landed via Twitch:

Slipping into something more comfortable, another dimension.

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