Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇾 has shared:

If we’re living in a dystopian nightmare, where the hell is my housekeeping robot?

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has viewed:

Every word wishes it could sound as fun as falafel.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has copied:

Anyone who says he can see through women is missing a lot.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Perfume is key, but deodorant is keyer and showering is keyest.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

My bathroom mirror after a long party weekend: “Girl, those vitamins can’t help you now.”

Someone from 🇸🇦 has copied:

You don’t even have to date, by the way. You can just take a break from love and then randomly meet the actual love of your life somewhere you weren’t even supposed to be.

Someone from 🇩🇲 has bookmarked:

Asserting dominance by starting all my private DMs with “I hope this DM finds you well.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has bookmarked:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,482

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

I don’t like people who take drugs, for example: airport security.

Just landed via X:

I have three kids. I should be terrified of sex.

Live now on Twitch:

If I ever find out who stole my identity, I’ll pay all their debts and ruin their credit score just for fun.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Shared recently on X:

Adding geologist to my resume after hitting rock bottom.

Trending via Instagram:

That uncontrollable urge to hurt myself and others when a film’s subtitles are slightly out of sync.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

Several of my internal organs hurt, but I’m 100% sure it’s not my body trying to tell me something.

Spreading quickly via YouTube:

People can’t drive you crazy if you don’t give them the keys.

Going bananas on Slack:

Made a lot of mistakes in my life, but adding more cheese than a recipe calls for isn’t one of them.

Spotted on Messenger:

Marriages are like pancakes. Sometimes you gotta throw the first one out.

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🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

52 shares on Reddit this month:

On Halloween, I’ll be handing out full size bars of really bad advice. Only while supplies last.

51 shares on Twitch this month:

Don’t date coworkers. Being the hot coworker nobody at work has a chance with is always the best role to play.

50 shares on Slack this month:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

87 shares on Slack this month:

I love how unforgiving soy sauce is. Cause you know immediately when you did too much with her.

65 shares on YouTube this month:

In the baking aisle, booing everyone buying imitation vanilla extract.

60 shares on Twitch this month:

Please stop calling 911 when you see me dancing. I’m fine!

42 shares on Slack this month:

I can easily spot a wolf in sheep’s clothing but this guy was dressed like my grandmother which threw me off.

96 shares on Snapchat this month:

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

56 shares on Discord this month:

No one talks about the horrific event of meeting someone who is exactly your type.

69 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I can’t believe I’m supposed to obey ALL the traffic laws ALL the time.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

17 folks are currently checking 👀

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I did not “try to rob a bank,” I just “aspired” to obtain more money.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Sometimes the voices in my head get bullied by the voices in my stomach.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I just feel like we shouldn’t have a new year until we get this one right.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I googled my symptoms and it turns out I just need this election to be over.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

I am thick and tired.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

You should always wear a helmet when doing dangerous things or talking about politics.

11 folks are currently checking 👀

Thanksgiving should be called Feaster.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when women have one daughter as their only child. It’s so incredibly chic.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Our phones fall, we panic. Our friends fall, we laugh.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,663

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇼 has downloaded:

Are you there, bathroom walls, ceiling, floor, mirror, sink, and towels? It’s me, the kids toothpaste.

Someone from 🇰🇭 has viewed:

Love those deep burps that instantly make me feel like I lost 10 lbs.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

New challenge called “don’t say ‘wow it’s already dark by five these days’ for the rest of winter”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

Men be like, “Ok, you wanna know the truth,” and lie even harder.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has bookmarked:

“You just want an easy life.” Should I want a difficult one?

Someone from 🇸🇹 has viewed:

When the executioner asks me what my final words are, I’m just going to start filibustering.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has downloaded:

Distance is my jam; solitude is my peanut butter.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has viewed:

If you think I’m evil, wait until you meet the man who made me this way.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has viewed:

I don’t understand why “family-run” should be a sign of quality. North Korea, for example, is also family-run and doesn’t convince me at all.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has shared:

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

Forgot my glasses, so I’m pointing at a random spot on the menu and hoping for the best.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

How do people post 25 times a day? The only thing I can do 25 times a day is pee.

Just shared via Twitch:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Spotted on Discord:

I love replying to people within seconds. Hello. I am here. Always.

Trending via Reddit:

Every CVS has its own unique energy that’s powerful enough to exalt or destroy the individual.

Broadcasted on Slack:

Just let your girlfriend be crazy, like who cares, bro.

Breaking via Telegram:

Someone at work had a 25-year anniversary, and it took everything in me not to say she’s been working longer than I’ve been alive.

Trending via Slack:

How does a government that takes 40% of everyone’s money end up being trillions in debt?

Shared recently on X:

Singing in the shower is all fun and games until you get shampoo in your mouth. Then it’s a soap opera!

Shared recently on Discord:

Sports are better when you have hate in your heart.

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