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49 Funny pretty quotes

One pretty important part of being a dad is walking faster than the rest of your family through an airport.

3 months ago

Wine shopping is 10% grape variety and 90% “ooohh, this one has a pretty label.”

3 months ago

I ate my exam paper. Which means that pretty soon I’ll pass the test.

3 months ago

I think I look pretty okay for my age. It’s just when I hold menus two feet from my face that I know the ruse is up.

3 months ago

Pretty sure they’re naming prescription drugs by just grabbing random Scrabble tiles. “Oh hey, Qdilrox sounds good.”

3 months ago

Kanye is pretty mean for someone with ‘yay’ in their name.

3 months ago

Pretty sure the inventor of noise-canceling headphones had a young kid trying to learn an instrument.

3 months ago

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

3 months ago

If I had money, my life would be pretty much the same, but my dogs would destroy much nicer stuff.

3 months ago

My wife is pretty excited about going away this weekend so I’m not sure she knows I’m coming with her.

3 months ago

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

3 months ago

Massage therapist asked how I felt about chiropractics and I told her the guy who invented it says he learned it from a ghost, and that shut the conversation down pretty quick.

3 months ago

Never understood why people train their dogs to sit pretty or roll over when there are useful tricks like empty the dishwasher or fold the laundry.

3 months ago

I’m like a candle: I’m cute, I smell nice, and there’s a pretty good chance I’ll set your curtains on fire if left unattended.

3 months ago

I’m not sure what everyone at my coworking space does for work, but I’m pretty sure one guy’s job is chewing.

3 months ago

Pretty sure the best place to hide a dead body is in a new tab you opened to read later.

3 months ago

Donuts have holes in them, just like acoustic guitars, but that’s pretty much where the similarities end.

3 months ago

Bugs Bunny taught me that my choices aren’t limited to fight or flight, I can also pretend I’m a pretty lady.

3 months ago

There should be a Mad Max movie that reveals the world outside Australia has actually remained pretty normal.

3 months ago

So proud of my ancestors for crawling out of the sea and evolving lungs. Pretty disappointed in them ever since though.

3 months ago