Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇮 has bookmarked:

People who don’t talk to themselves are the weird ones.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

I don’t want to party like it’s 1999, I want to go grocery shopping like it is.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has shared:

This meeting could have been a cave painting.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

Shrimp: “When I grow up, I want to be food waste at a gala.”

Someone from 🇩🇪 has shared:

Nonchalant men are not for me. I want mine to have a panic attack if we’re not talking.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Do I need to have seen the Tokyo Olympics in order to understand the Paris ones?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

The biggest difference between my toddler and me is that if I had poop on my butt, that’d be priority #1.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

It’s so peaceful when you have no interest in other people’s business.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has downloaded:

You want me to turn around? The thing that led to a total eclipse of the heart.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has copied:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,607

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Slack:

It’s a beautiful day to ignore your existing problems and create new ones.

Making waves on Pinterest:

I had no idea being an adult would involve so many lotions.

Trending via Pinterest:

She was unique, like a millennial that could drive a stick shift.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Breaking via Twitch:

I’ve walked the walk, but nowadays I just sit the sit.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Who’s your favorite horror director? Mine’s God.

Making waves on Reddit:

Life is a highway and I’m afraid to merge.

Trending via X:

No, I wasn’t dancing. I got harassed by a bumble bee.

Trending via Instagram:

I’m a strong, independent woman, but like, against my will.

Going viral on WeChat:

Someone told me I wasn’t thinking clearly, as if that’s even an option.

Funny probation quotes

New funny probation quotes 👇

All funny probation quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

73 shares on Messenger this month:

Just blocked all the normal people, so if you see this… sup, weirdo.

96 shares on Telegram this month:

I love it when God gives me money.

47 shares on Pinterest this month:

Sorry, can’t go out tonight. My bed told me it needs me, and I can’t let it down.

50 shares on Messenger this month:

I just come here for the free life advice and inspirational quotes from people who’s lives are complete train wrecks.

56 shares on X this month:

They should make a tanning bed that constantly rolls you over like a gas station hotdog.

88 shares on Facebook this month:

When I see chocolate, I hear two voices inside me. One says: “Eat it!”. The other says: “Did you hear that? You’re supposed to eat it!”

34 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The state of my house can best be described as “there seems to have been a struggle”.

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Apparently, “spite” is not an appropriate answer to “What motivates you?”

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

29 shares on Twitch this month:

I’m not exaggerating when I say, if I ever clogged a toilet at work, I would immediately quit, change my name, and then move to a different city.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Doing dishes is like fighting a hydra — wash one, and two more appear.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Shout out to the dude who flipped me off in traffic. Making me feel all nostalgic for California, thank you.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

It’s the perfect time of year to focus on my indoor hobbies, like lying down in a dark room and feeling insane.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Brave of you to assume you can resist my good looks.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Vacations are expensive, but how else could you put a price tag on your kids being ungrateful in a different city.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

If I were you, I would rather be me.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I like you because we hate the same people.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

The kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were pretty dumb if they couldn’t figure out that their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Not arguing with a man that can cook. Whatever you say, handsome.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I am not old. I am in the prime of my decay.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,417

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇲 has copied:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has downloaded:

My comments on your home decor are not criticisms, they are deep concerns.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has bookmarked:

Today my coworker asked if I wanted to hold her new baby and neither of us were prepared for me saying why?

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Paw Patrol is just annoying. Exactly how long do dogs live again on average?

Someone from 🇿🇼 has copied:

My son got braces today. Yay, he’s not going to be a teenage dad.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I don’t drink blood to stay young. I do it mainly for the lifestyle.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

“But it’s summer,” is going to be my excuse for everything from now until the end of September.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has shared:

Why a bug would spend such a long fraction of its short life immobile on my ceiling beats me.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has viewed:

Get married and have kids so that you can Google things like “How to teach your kid to not bite”.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Coffee ain’t cutting it anymore. I need to eat batteries.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on X:

I can’t believe we live in the timeline where we invented a technology to make it so we can never trust a photo or video again.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Feels like if cicadas are allowed to just sit in a tree and scream, I should also be.

Making waves on YouTube:

I deliberately don’t go to bed early. I don’t want to look like I could be useful for anything the next day.

Trending via Facebook:

If the USA is so great, why did someone make the USB?

Spotted on Discord:

Dads will insist the Masters is exciting while also napping through it.

Going viral on Snapchat:

The moon is literally dragging the oceans around, and you think your body shouldn’t feel it?

Trending via Facebook:

I have no beef with vegetarians.

Shared recently on Threads:

Going back on a dating app is the new walk of shame.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Any room can be a panic room if you just give me a second.

Spotted on YouTube:

“Baby on board” Okay, well, can you tell him to drive faster?

© 2026. All rights reserved.

Made with ❤️ in Sydney ☀️🌴