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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

Babe, are you okay? You haven’t touched your dark humor all day.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has shared:

Why is Subway asking me for a tip? Bro, we made this sandwich together.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has shared:

Seeking a date so intense even the candles are sweating.

Someone from 🇨🇳 has copied:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

I don’t understand why judges get paid so much, others judge me for free.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has downloaded:

Having sex with the same person gets freakier and nastier each time.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has viewed:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

My kids want to know what’s for dinner, like they’re going to be happy with the answer.

Someone from 🇱🇮 has downloaded:

I can’t wait til I have hearing aids, so I can just turn them off when I’m tired of hearing everyone.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

Winter. You get up, drink coffee and then it gets dark.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,696

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Pinterest:

1994: I can’t wait to see what the world is like in 30 years. 2024: God no.

Going bananas on TikTok:

The older I get, the more I understand why roosters just scream to start their day.

Making waves on Twitch:

Hilarious when peoples outgoing voicemail message says they “can’t make it to the phone right now.” You carry the phone with you. It’s the only constant in your life.

Making waves on TikTok:

Full-time employment will have you making lists of thoughts to think.

Going bananas on Messenger:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Spotted on WeChat:

What career is most compatible with the unemployed lifestyle?

Making waves on Slack:

Okay, I’ve proved I’m not a robot, now you prove you’re not a human.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Making waves on X:

I need to get my shit together, but at this point, I’m waiting to see if the world is going to end before I put any real effort in.

Freshly posted on Threads:

The local casino is hosting a speed dating event. Just what every woman needs, a new boyfriend with a gambling problem.

159 Funny responsibility quotes

Funny responsibility quotes highlight the struggles and laughs that come with trying to adult! 😅📅 Whether it’s pretending to have everything together, procrastinating on the chores, or realizing your “responsible” moment only lasted five minutes, these quotes remind us that responsibility can sometimes feel more like a joke. Because let’s be honest — who enjoys being responsible all the time? 😂🙈💼

New funny responsibility quotes 👇

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All funny responsibility quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
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Social Media Stars ⭐

87 shares on X this month:

Sorry I missed your call when I pressed decline.

10 shares on Slack this month:

I had zero respect for my boss until he started appearing exclusively by hologram.

34 shares on Messenger this month:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

93 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

94 shares on Instagram this month:

I can’t do the splits. But so far there has never been a situation where I’ve thought, “I should do the splits now.”

31 shares on Instagram this month:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

20 shares on Reddit this month:

Twerk unto others as you would have them twerk unto you.

12 shares on TikTok this month:

Let me seduce you with my knowledge on useless things.

67 shares on Messenger this month:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

73 shares on Discord this month:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

22 folks are currently checking 👀

My ex said I had commitment issues but this giant jar of Nutella says otherwise.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

9-5 is really 10-2 if you’re working remote.

20 folks are currently checking 👀

Sorry I left you on read, I didn’t mean to open it just yet.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Stealing hoodies is for amateurs. Steal his car like a real woman.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

A big part of my job as a parent is moving things away from the edges of countertops.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

David Attenborough narrating my life: “He’s still sleeping.”

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Cats are probably like: Oh, I should follow you on Litterboxd.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

An interviewer asked me how well I can perform under pressure; I said I’m much better at Bohemian Rhapsody.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

If you ever get locked out of your house, talk calmly to the lock. We all know that communication is the key.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Jan 31, 2026

Users Online

3,285

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has downloaded:

Sometime you meet such a prince that you’d rather marry the horse.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

My grandfather tried to warn them about the Titanic. He screamed and shouted about the iceberg and how the ship was going to sink, but all they did was throw him out of the theater.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

Me, when a 25-year-old talks to me: please be patient with me, I’m from the 1900s.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has viewed:

Terrifying if taken literally—if these walls could talk.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has shared:

Lost my Thesaurus. Gutted. Really gutted. Like absolutely gutted.

Someone from 🇦🇷 has viewed:

A haunted house, but it’s just all apps and websites where you got logged out but can’t remember your password.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has bookmarked:

Opening this app is like lighting a cigarette.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has copied:

My favorite things about Twitter are that everything you read is true, everyone is nice, and all intentions are pure of heart.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has shared:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

It’s not you. Just the things you say, think, and do.

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Instagram:

Are they honking at me because I’m cute or because I can’t drive.

Seen just now on WeChat:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Shared recently on Slack:

This is actually worse than Biff Tennan’s future.

Just landed via Twitch:

As you get older, you suddenly realize that the Smurf who hates everything is the normal one.

Making waves on Messenger:

Welcome to your 50s, there’s a wrong way to stretch now.

Just shared via Telegram:

Accidentally turned my clocks back too far and ended up at a Wham concert.

Spotted on Reddit:

No, baby, I’m not dumping you. I’m just rebranding myself as your ex.

Live now on Discord:

Sex is fine, but have you ever completed every single thing on your to-do list?

Spotted on Slack:

A big part of aging is accumulating keys and not knowing what they’re for.

Going viral on Threads:

Explain it to me like I’m 5 drinks in.

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