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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇶 has viewed:

Right before rock bottom, you’ll have a city builder game on your phone.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

Times New Roman never did anything to anybody. It was a real trooper. Then society unceremoniously dethroned it.

Someone from 🇬🇦 has downloaded:

Love low-hanging fruit. Easiest kind to obtain, in my opinion.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has downloaded:

Nothing prepared me for how much of my adult life would be spent hiding from people I know at the grocery store.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

It’s so much easier to suggest solutions when you don’t know too much about the problem.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has copied:

Nothing worse than realising you vented to the wrong person.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

Yogurts should come in a five-pack, not a four-pack, or make the workweek four days.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has shared:

If you’re ever wondering what to do in an uncomfortable situation, just think “What would teenage me do?” And then do the opposite of that.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

Just the owls and I out here enjoying the breeze amongst the trees.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,364

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on LinkedIn:

A funny thing about the Heimlich Maneuver is that it’s impossible to pronounce if you’re choking.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

She didn’t leave you on read, bro. You left her on speechless.

Going viral on TikTok:

Car rides by yourself with loud music… they’re good for the soul.

Spotted on Slack:

That little pocket on jeans is the perfect size for the money I have left over after I pay all my bills.

Trending via WeChat:

Why is everything 10x better at night? Driving, showering, eating, vibing to music, watching Netflix… phone calls. Like, everything.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

Find someone who looks at you the way I look at a cheeseburger.

Live now on WhatsApp:

When I quit my job I’m setting one last OOO message that just says “your email will never find me again”

Making waves on Slack:

I wish British people had subtitles so I knew what they are on about.

Shared recently on Facebook:

You know you’re old when you you barely do anything all day, but still need a nap to continue doing barely anything.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am an influencer. If you aren’t influenced in any way, that is on you. Do better.

Funny scratch quotes

Funny scratch quotes are the perfect way to add a little humor to those annoying everyday moments when things just don’t go as planned 🐾😂 Whether it’s pets, pesky itches, or unexpected scratches, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud and scratching your head in delight 🤣✨ Get ready to embrace the silly side of life with a scratch and a smile!

New funny scratch quotes 👇

All funny scratch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

46 shares on Reddit this month:

I accidentally poured vodka on my orange juice this morning. Twice.

47 shares on Discord this month:

Women always want to marry intelligent men. What they don’t know: Intelligent men don’t want to marry.

68 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Being famous on social media is like being rich in Monopoly. It’s not real, so calm down.

56 shares on YouTube this month:

Sorry, can’t. The pears I bought a couple days ago have ripened.

48 shares on Instagram this month:

The zero likes won’t stop me from posting. I will talk to myself if I have to.

48 shares on WeChat this month:

Twitter hits different, cause it’s like the only social media app you can use effectively while playing music.

55 shares on WeChat this month:

Big decision to make? Sleep on it. Have a nightmare. Then you’ll be operating on pure adrenaline and will choose more quickly.

91 shares on X this month:

I’m not worried about WWIII. I’ve been feeding a crow army for three years.

52 shares on Twitch this month:

Sometimes life is like a cowshed. You step from one turd into the next.

66 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Everyone’s gangster until they need to pee.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Ever since I was a little girl I knew I wanted to leave work early.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Every house has a smell that only the people living in it don’t smell.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

Apple juice tastes like it wants to be alcohol, but it’s too shy.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

“Grey” is a better spelling than “gray” because “e” is a greyer letter than “a.” I will not elaborate.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Long story short, I survived.

19 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m rearranging the kitchen which is devastating for my husband because now suddenly he remembers where everything used to be.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

I hope the next time you’re stressed, it’s because you’re choosing between Japan, Bali, Switzerland, or the Maldives.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Every Jurassic Park movie should end with an insurance adjuster getting a phone call and immediately throwing up.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Never underestimate the healing power of a cheeseburger.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not lazy, I’m an inactivist.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

233 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,502

Funny Quotes Topics

17,569

Funny Quotes Images

15,502

Updated

Jan 6, 2026

Users Online

3,488

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇪 has shared:

My problem with Christmas shopping is that I keep seeing things that I like… for me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

We seriously need to bring back courting. What the hell is ‘wyd tonight?’ Arrive on a horse and bring flowers like a man.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has shared:

Despite all my rage, I still keep refreshing the page.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has bookmarked:

No rizz, just pretty eyes and many unsettling things to say.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has downloaded:

We should be able take jets and tanks and stuff whenever we want, we paid for them.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has copied:

When you said “let’s circle back to that in the new year” and now it’s the new year.

Someone from 🇺🇿 has shared:

Tuesday is no better than Monday.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

The word “misread” can be misread as “misread.”

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I’ve done literally nothing all day, except feel guilty about doing nothing all day.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has shared:

Anyone know how to get an air guitar out of a vacuum?

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Instagram:

My first thought upon waking up in the morning is “not again”.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

If I say “First of all,” run away, because I have prepared research, data, charts and I will totally prove you wrong.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

You don’t get much engagement? Have you tried being retarded.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

My wallet is empty, just like my soul.

Just landed via WeChat:

The Wi-Fi stops working for 2 minutes, and suddenly I start thinking about life.

Trending via WhatsApp:

I’m never wrong. Just different levels of right.

Just landed via WeChat:

A peaceful transition of power happening between me and this red wine just now.

Spotted on Slack:

Somehow I picked the worst possible decade to try to have a career.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

So, you’re telling me I’m just supposed to get up every day and keep living like this? Seems like a scam to me.

Just shared via Pinterest:

A gender-neutral equivalent of ‘sugar daddy’ is glucose guardian.

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