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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇵🇪 has copied:

Lasagna has never broken my heart. Just saying.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has shared:

People who can fall asleep quickly freak me out… I mean, don’t they have thoughts?

Someone from 🇲🇻 has downloaded:

Naps are tricky. Either you wake up relaxed and refreshed, or you have a headache, a dry throat and no idea what year it is.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

Please don’t send me mixed signals, I don’t even understand the clear ones.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has bookmarked:

When I turned into the harbor of marriage, I didn’t know that a warship was anchored there.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has downloaded:

So you mean to tell me a stress ball is not for throwing at people who stress you out?

Someone from 🇬🇷 has copied:

Accidentally punched myself in the face as I was getting dressed this morning, and I have to say, I deserved it.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has bookmarked:

How do I get one of those fake corporate jobs where I work remotely, get paid for responding to one email a day, and have a laptop on with Outlook or whatever open?

Someone from 🇿🇦 has bookmarked:

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has bookmarked:

You’re never too old or too stupid to become older and stupider.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2427 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,589

Funny Quotes Topics

15,260

Funny Quotes Images

12,589

20 minutes ago

3,443

Social Media Log 💫

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

I’m always in a rush to go home, and do absolutely nothing.

Making waves on YouTube:

There is nothing worse in life than calling customer service and hearing an Indian accent.

Broadcasted on WhatsApp:

I’m just saying, no dog has ever ghosted me.

Seen just now on Discord:

“My family doesn’t have a black sheep,” I say, while everyone avoids eye contact.

Breaking via Reddit:

I was about to organise my closet, but I then I found what I was looking for.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Trending via Threads:

I’m having a bad day. Please send super-cute pics of your credit cards to cheer me up.

Seen just now on Facebook:

I dreamt this night that I had died and when I woke up, a piece of me was actually already stiff.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Just shared via Discord:

It’s okay, wobbly chair, I’m unstable too.

Home » Funny Scratch Quotes

Funny scratch quotes

Funny scratch quotes are the perfect way to add a little humor to those annoying everyday moments when things just don’t go as planned 🐾😂 Whether it’s pets, pesky itches, or unexpected scratches, these witty lines will have you laughing out loud and scratching your head in delight 🤣✨ Get ready to embrace the silly side of life with a scratch and a smile!

New funny scratch quotes 👇

Jan 28, 2025
Share →: Doggy style is out cat style is in. It’s where I let you touch me until I’m satisfied then ignore you and scratch you if you try and touch me again.

Commentary:
"Looks like cats have mastered the art of subtle power play! 🐱💥 Who knew cat style could be so sassy and savage? 😼😂 Beware, attempting to pet a cat after they've had enough may result in scratches and a lesson in feline boundaries! 😹 #CatStyleWins"
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Commentary:
"Oh boy, talk about high stakes! 🤞🎲 Let's hope lady luck is on your side, or else you might end up celebrating your next anniversary in the doghouse! 🐶😅"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Commentary:
Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂
Jan 20, 2025
Share →: How inappropriate is it to ask a stranger to scratch your back? Need to know ten minutes ago.

Commentary:
"Desperate times call for desperate measures! 🙈 Maybe next time bring a back-scratcher just in case! 😂 #BackScratchEmergency"

For even more funny scratch quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny scratch quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2427 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,589

Funny Quotes Topics

15,260

Funny Quotes Images

12,589

20 minutes ago

3,444

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇻 has copied:

You get to choose which path you take. I see some of you have chosen the psychopath.

Someone from 🇸🇨 has copied:

In English we say: “You changed.” But in poetry we say: “You became a stranger wearing the face I used to love, and I am haunted by the ghost of who you were.”

Someone from 🇧🇫 has shared:

I have many talents, all equally un-monetizable.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has bookmarked:

Before ball parks were invented there was pretty much no way to give someone a rough estimate.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has bookmarked:

How old is older? Because I’m still waiting for this wise thing to kick in.

Someone from 🇩🇯 has downloaded:

Please no more relationships that are supposed to be a lesson. I’m already quite the scholar.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has bookmarked:

Dear sleep, I’m sorry we broke up this morning. I want you back!

Someone from 🇱🇺 has viewed:

Just imagine how great life would be if pizza made you skinny.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

The second cup of coffee does for me what a can of spinach does for Popeye.

Someone from 🇲🇼 has bookmarked:

Anytime a guy says “that’s what she said” always reply with “yeah, but not to you”.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Telegram:

Pretty sure the guy in front of me at McDonald’s ordered the rest of the food.

Freshly posted on YouTube:

Your boos don’t mean anything to me. I’ve seen what you people cheer for!

Shared recently on Slack:

I just need a day between everyday… to recover from the day before… just so I can prepare for the day coming.

Shared recently on Facebook:

Thank god I played a lot of Tetris as a kid or I never would have been able to get everything into the freezer.

Reported on Twitch:

The highest act of rebellion is to relax unconditionally.

Making waves on Pinterest:

Relationship status: I’m the only one wearing my hoodies.

Just shared via WeChat:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

Live now on Twitch:

I want to be gangsta but my grandma said no.

Just shared via Slack:

Today’s politics make me think we’re living in a movie where the villains actually win.

Shared recently on Reddit:

Welcome to adulthood: 9pm is midnight now.

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