Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has shared:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇸🇲 has shared:

Boxes of pasta don’t need a plastic window. I believe pasta is in the box.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has copied:

There’s a reason we say cheese and not salad when we have to smile for a photo.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

Being naked with headphones on is so fun.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has shared:

The night terrors don’t scare me half as much as the day terrors.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇦🇲 has copied:

Some of you have overdosed so hard on the propaganda, there’s nothing reality Narcan can do for you.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

The ideal man is always thinking of several cool things at once (throwing a football really far, a truck with big wheels, giving a lot of high fives).

Someone from 🇬🇧 has downloaded:

The train announcer just said we should keep our personal belongings with us at all times but I’ve left most of mine at home.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has bookmarked:

It’s a good friend who, when you want the truth, knows what truth you want.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,496

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Pinterest:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

Just landed via X:

Getting the ick because he put the windshield wipers on at a higher rate than was needed.

Going bananas on Pinterest:

Please make sure you are only drinking as much water as you REALLY need. We need that for the data centers. If you’re thirsty, AI is thirsty too.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sorry I’m late, my song came on at the grocery store.

Spotted on Facebook:

Mayor of a small town is such a wild job. It’s like being the president of a country where you went to high school with the whole population.

Spotted on WeChat:

I love you in a way that would worry a therapist and thrill a poet.

Trending via YouTube:

Welcome to your 40s. A random back pain will be assigned to you shortly, and you’ll never know what flares it up every time.

Just shared via WhatsApp:

I think some outfits just aren’t meant to be worn unless you’re getting straight into a car.

Just shared via Telegram:

The older I get, the more I understand why people live in the woods and talk to squirrels.

Trending via LinkedIn:

Confession: If you’ve ever been in a revolving door with me, I was only pretending to push.

Funny shelf quotes

Funny shelf quotes bring a splash of humor to your space, turning ordinary shelves into conversation starters! 📚😂 Whether you’re showcasing books, plants, or quirky knick-knacks, these witty sayings add personality and charm. Perfect for brightening up any room and sparking smiles every time you glance their way. Ready to give your shelves a clever twist? Let the fun begin! 🎉✨📖

New funny shelf quotes 👇

All funny shelf quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections
✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

65 shares on TikTok this month:

Sometimes I’m out in public and I have to look down real quick to make sure I remembered to put on pants.

94 shares on TikTok this month:

Girl, whatever you’re going through right now, as long as you’re not pregnant, you’re gonna be fine.

35 shares on Discord this month:

When I gain weight, I should get to designate where on my body it goes.

79 shares on Twitch this month:

Accordion to a recent survey, inserting musical instruments into sentences largely goes unnoticed.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

Professor, set the time machine for right now. I’m trying to be more present.

19 shares on Slack this month:

Labubu?! Sounds like a name picked mid-sneeze!

21 shares on Facebook this month:

I want to be a garbage man, so I only have to work one day a week.

34 shares on YouTube this month:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

84 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Coffee just tastes better when you are the only one awake in the morning.

76 shares on WeChat this month:

If you wear enough cardigans, people will assume you’re smart and you can stop reading entirely.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

23 folks are currently checking 👀

If we were both crows, I’d bring you shiny things.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Not to brag but this cashier is checking me out.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I’d be a terrible masseuse. After 5 minutes, I’d be like, “Okay, my turn.”

19 folks are currently checking 👀

Cheer up! Your biggest mistake is probably still ahead of you.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Making food: 1 hour. Eating food: 20 seconds. Washing dishes: never ending.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I welcome change as long as nothing is altered or different than before.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

My psych professor asked if we’d heard of Pavlov. I said, “It rings a bell.” No one laughed; I’m too witty for this class.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

You should get one IG story in addition to your one phone call when you’re arrested.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,752

Funny Quotes Topics

17,765

Funny Quotes Images

15,752

Updated

Jan 20, 2026

Users Online

3,584

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has copied:

“People you may know” and it’s someone I would set on fire.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has downloaded:

Guy who normally applauds when the plane lands right before the pilot crashes it: “Boo!”

Someone from 🇨🇭 has downloaded:

I love being single because how could I explain a 2 p.m. – 5 p.m. nap on a Saturday.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

There is sex without love, there is love without sex, and there is me without both.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

I want to be cuddled, but I also want to be left alone. Being crazy is hard.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has shared:

I’m not flirting with you. I’m just funny and you think you like me.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

My four moods: I’m too old for doing that. I’m too tired for doing that. I’m too sober for doing that. I don’t have time for doing that.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I didn’t like my beard at first… then it grew on me.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has shared:

The Playstation is broken and the child has noticed that I live here too.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Sometimes I wish I was an octopus, so I could slap eight people at once.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Twitch:

I feel so discombobulated when supermarkets switch up the aisles without texting me first.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

If you call me from a private number, I’ll respect your privacy and won’t answer.

Shared recently on Discord:

“I’ll run it by the boss” is one of the peak boomerisms you can say as a married man. It feels electric.

Making waves on Threads:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Spotted on Telegram:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Live now on Telegram:

The horror of being warned that the person you’re about to meet is “fine once you get to know them”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

The best way to use Twitter will forever be as an observer.

Broadcasted on Slack:

If you’re out shopping this week, be nice to the retail workers. It’s not their fault you waited to shop until Mary’s water broke.

Going viral on LinkedIn:

Believing that pharmaceutical companies want to heal you is like believing a casino wants you to win.

Trending via Facebook:

Having a girlfriend is insane because you can literally go to touch them, and they will let you.

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