Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇭 has viewed:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

Imagine hating me and im just at my desk spinning reeaaally fast in my office chair.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has downloaded:

“We will go ahead and make these changes if we don’t hear from you before Friday” is such an elegant way to solve problems.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has copied:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has copied:

Duolingo does everything except actually teach you the language.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has bookmarked:

Getting accused of using AI when you didn’t is like this century’s version of a witch allegation.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

My plans for today? Same as always, drink coffee and be sexy.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has downloaded:

My superpower is to make anyone I wanna make comfortable feel uncomfortable.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

According to a recent study, women who are a little overweight live longer than men who mention it.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has copied:

Caught my son chewing on electrical wires. So, I grounded him. He’s doing better currently and conducting himself properly.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,721

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Slack:

Thanks for your email! Unfortunately, I have filled my pockets with stones and am making my way to the sea.

Making waves on Slack:

My Saturday was going really well, until I realized it’s Sunday!

Live now on Discord:

Trust me; this is the second millennium I’ve lived in.

Just landed via Snapchat:

She’s got style. She’s got grace. She dropped her cellphone on her face. She’s a lady.

Going bananas on Instagram:

I once let a really short guy be the big spoon and it felt like I went to bed with a backpack on.

Just shared via Reddit:

The Airbnb reviews never tell you how comfortable the toilets are for falling asleep on.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

It’s almost bed time, so I’ll just check my e-mail, Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, and watch a season of my favorite show on Netflix real quick.

Trending via Discord:

I replaced my old flat pillow that hurt my neck with a new fat fluffy pillow that hurts my neck.

Trending via YouTube:

Are you even a parent if you’ve never carried your child out of a store sideways like a surfboard?

Broadcasted on Discord:

Am I finishing my education or is my education finishing me?

Funny sit down quotes

Funny sit down quotes are the perfect way to add a little sass and laughter to your day! 😄 Whether you’re taking a break, avoiding awkward moments, or just chilling like a pro 🛋️, these witty gems will make you smile and maybe even snort a little 😂. Ready to sit back, relax, and enjoy some hilarious wisdom? Let’s dive in and have some fun! 🎉✨

New funny sit down quotes 👇

All funny sit down quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

45 shares on Twitch this month:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

99 shares on YouTube this month:

Today marks a five year anniversary of how I’ll start going to the gym tomorrow.

36 shares on Messenger this month:

I never forget a face, but in your case, I’ll be glad to make an exception.

15 shares on Messenger this month:

I’m the only person breathing through my nose at this Walmart.

30 shares on Discord this month:

First rule of cleaning while listening to music: the toilet brush is never the microphone. Never!

80 shares on Discord this month:

In the event of a tornado or other such natural disaster, place wieners and/or cheese slices in your pockets, so the search dogs will find you first.

39 shares on Threads this month:

These weekends are starting to feel as long as a lunch break.

49 shares on Facebook this month:

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

26 shares on Reddit this month:

Every Sunday is superbowel if you eat enough chili.

11 shares on Reddit this month:

My favorite things about Texas are definitely toast and chainsaw massacres.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

If I had known how much care balcony plants need, I could have stopped taking the pill.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Fact: WhatsApp is the most boring app if you’re single.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember that your face is literally a combination of hundreds of generations of people who fell in love!

16 folks are currently checking 👀

“I’ll just iron my clothes for work in the morning,” he thought in stupid bachelor.

23 folks are currently checking 👀

I just need my friends to know I would do absolutely anything for them, except reply to their message.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

In search of someone who loves me as much as I love my snooze button.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Since there are no other Vulcans on the enterprise and the crew has no comparison, Spock could be and probably is bullshitting them most of the time.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Actually, it’s illegal to be upset if you make a date on Halloween and they ghost you.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Just because the deodorant says 48 hrs, it does not mean you have to challenge it.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

Feeling morally and spiritually adrift without a Sunday HBO show.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

219 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,488

Funny Quotes Topics

17,559

Funny Quotes Images

15,488

Updated

Jan 5, 2026

Users Online

3,431

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇱 has copied:

I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has bookmarked:

The concept of dominant hands is hilarious to me. That one of our hands is just like, “No, I’m not helping.”

Someone from 🇵🇰 has shared:

I got my superpowers when I was bitten by a radioactive idiot.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

The worst thing about having children is the parents of the other children.

Someone from 🇲🇱 has downloaded:

This book ain’t got no pictures.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I hate when kids scream in public. You don’t have real problems. It should be me screaming.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

I took your advice and worked smarter not harder. Now I’m going to need your advice on a good lawyer.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has downloaded:

Being sexy is just the cherry on top. I’m actually a genius and the sweetest girl ever.

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

I’m so talented I can not only spill food on my clothes but I can get it on yours too.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

Shoulda named my daughter Calculus cause damn she’s complicated.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

It’s like 10,000 lies when all you need is the files.

Just landed via YouTube:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Spotted on Snapchat:

If we’re not supposed to be snacking late at night why is there a light in the fridge?

Trending via LinkedIn:

It turns out, as you get older, you don’t actually figure anything out; you just don’t have any energy to care anymore.

Going viral on X:

Every homemade dinner counts as negative calories because of the exercise we get waving pillows at the smoke detectors.

Making waves on Slack:

The first time you forgive out of love. The second time out of hope and the third time out of stupidity.

Making waves on TikTok:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Always be kind. You never know who has subscriptions to your favorite streaming apps.

Just landed via Messenger:

A dating app for people who are shy called Mumble.

Live now on WhatsApp:

Deja poo is when you feel like you’ve heard the same shit before.

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