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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇪 has bookmarked:

I was always told to eat all my food so that I’d grow to be big and strong. When exactly does the strong part kick in?

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Giving out false information so I know who the leak is.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

I accidentally messed up my life. How do I start a new account?

Someone from 🇦🇪 has bookmarked:

Did you know on the Canary Islands there is not one canary? And on the Virgin Isles? Same thing – not one canary there either!

Someone from 🇲🇬 has downloaded:

Imagine being all knowing and still putting a snake in charge of apples.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has copied:

So why is it that when Star Trek ‘boldly go where no one has gone before’ they always find someone there?

Someone from 🇹🇿 has downloaded:

Seems like it would be really tough being a girl named Molly at a rave.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

Someone told me I’ve gained weight. I told them it was for a part in a movie. I’ve never acted in my life. Until that moment.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has downloaded:

SEO experts be like: I was eating a banana when my traffic increased, so bananas are definitely a ranking factor.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has bookmarked:

Never trust someone who can eat 24/7 but is still skinny.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

There’s something so spiritual about new life. When I look my baby nephew in the eyes, I can’t stop thinking about how amazing it will be to connect with him on LinkedIn.

Just shared via Instagram:

Beware. There are people in the grocery store that you know who want to chat with you. Stay vigilant.

Spotted on Slack:

It’s exciting to receive a Valentine’s Day card and not know who it’s from. A Father’s Day card, not so much.

Freshly posted on Slack:

Of course, I also put my mobile down from time to time. For example, when someone tries to call me.

Seen just now on Messenger:

Death cannot harm me more than you have harmed me, my beloved life.

Trending via Slack:

The worst thing you can do while cleaning is sit down for a minute.

Spreading quickly via Instagram:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Shared recently on Slack:

I offered my nephew a donut and he said “no thanks, I’m not hungry right now” and I don’t think this little guy knows how donuts work.

Going viral on Pinterest:

I used to be a person who couldn’t easily fall asleep, then I got divorced and now I sleep like a baby. Probably unrelated.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

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Funny social situations quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm sleep social someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

27 minutes ago

Users Online

3,447

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

There’s nothing worse than being in public and you touch something that shouldn’t be sticky and it is.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has copied:

A recent study showed that people who are reading this text thought they were learning something useful.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has downloaded:

I am at my Thanksgiving table observing personality disorders that have not been identified yet.

Someone from 🇲🇦 has viewed:

I hate when I lose things at work, like pens, papers, sanity and dreams.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

You’ll be fighting for your life financially and that’s when all your toiletries finish at the same time.

Someone from 🇭🇺 has bookmarked:

Diet tip: Your pants can’t get too tight if you never wear any.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has shared:

My doctor told me to eat more Taco Bell. Well, he actually said “less McDonald’s”, but I’m pretty sure I know what he meant.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has copied:

They probably killed the first few people whose eyes turned red in a photograph before they realized it wasn’t any demon stuff.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

At what point is a salad no longer a salad based on how much bacon I add?

Someone from 🇰🇳 has downloaded:

This alien invasion could have been an email.

Social Media Log 💫

Breaking via Facebook:

I’m tired and drank a lot of coffee, so now I’m tired but faster.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

I miss being able to study with complete focus for hours. Now I read one sentence and check my phone to see if penguins have legs or just feet.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

That awkward moment you can’t understand what somebody is saying after they have repeated it about five times.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Ground beef implies the existence of sky beef.

Live now on YouTube:

The best time to visit Japan is when you have money!

Just landed via Facebook:

My greatest aspiration is to one day solve a murder on a train.

Just landed via Instagram:

I got 3 miles in before breakfast. That’s enough driving for the day.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

If you’re sleep-deprived and type the symptoms into Google, you’re as good as dead.

Seen just now on Snapchat:

I hate managing money, I was born to splurge.

Freshly posted on X:

I wonder if the guy who came up with the term “One Hit Wonder” came up with any other phrases?

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