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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

You can’t fix stupid, but you can watch it in action on social media every day.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

The more I parent the more convinced I am that the ears on toddlers are purely for decoration.

Someone from 🇸🇱 has bookmarked:

The best weight you’ll ever lose is the weight of other people’s opinions.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

Slipping into something a little more comfortable (psychosis).

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

My dentist said my teeth were stained and asked if I smoke or drink coffee? I said, “I drink it.”

Someone from 🇹🇭 has bookmarked:

It’s truly insane when bosses assume their employees are working for any reason other than a paycheck.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has downloaded:

Biblical loophole: It’s not premarital sex if you never intend to get married.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has shared:

I used to be so graceful, now I am like a puppy with a box stuck on her head.

Someone from 🇲🇹 has viewed:

Enjoy your 30s, because in your 40s, your first check engine lights come on.

Someone from 🇱🇷 has shared:

You’d think the thing in my house with the most cat hair on it would be my cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,269

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

Every time you break spaghetti noodles in half, an Italian has a stroke.

Freshly posted on Messenger:

Ever thought about centaurs and how the bottom half would start walking immediately after birth but the top part would be baby-like and flop around for a while.

Breaking via Instagram:

Everyone’s a gangster until they see a rainbow.

Spotted on TikTok:

Can I be 20 again? I know what to do this time.

Just landed via Instagram:

The closest I’ve come to mastering a martial art is figuring out how to wash my feet in the shower.

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

We work all week to work some more around the house all weekend long. Isn’t life grand?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

Everything I like is either expensive, illegal, or wont text me back.

Making waves on Facebook:

I put the dance in “Good riddance!”

Live now on Twitch:

None of the parenting books say what to do when your kids start calling you ‘Bruh.’

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

My teen believed the washing machine when it said it only had one minute left, and oh, how I laughed and laughed.

Funny squishing quotes

Funny squishing quotes are here to squeeze out some giggles and brighten your day! 😂 Whether it’s about adorable pets, quirky snacks, or those satisfying squish moments, these playful sayings pack a punch of joy 🥰🍩. Get ready to laugh, relate, and maybe even share the squish love with your friends! 🐾💥 #SquishLife

New funny squishing quotes 👇

All funny squishing quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes
🎲 Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

43 shares on Discord this month:

If I get rid of social media, how will I know what everyone ate for dinner?

84 shares on Threads this month:

My extravagant lifestyle of paying for housing and buying groceries is really getting in the way of my ability to save money.

97 shares on TikTok this month:

I think my boss is delusional; he keeps shaking his head and calls me Jesus Christ.

79 shares on Reddit this month:

Scrolling the feed as a mature person, not judging anybody.

54 shares on X this month:

I don’t flirt. I just say weird things and hope you interpret them romantically.

37 shares on X this month:

You give my middle finger an erection.

65 shares on Snapchat this month:

I just read a thing that said I should compliment myself on my decisions, regardless of the outcome. No thanks, I’m not the government.

74 shares on X this month:

Spice up your work day by drinking your coffee from a flask.

46 shares on Snapchat this month:

Life always has it’s ups and downs. I like to up the music, down the drinks, and then relax and enjoy.

54 shares on Pinterest this month:

A babysitter is a teenager who acts like an adult while the adults go out to act like teenagers.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Having a nicotine addiction is basically just adding a new base layer to Maslow’s hierarchy for no reason.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

The toddler refers to every baby as Baby [Name], like Baby is their formal title.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

I learned that when dogs lean against you it’s their version of hugging and now every time my dog leans against me my eyes start leaking.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Remember when we had to smack the TV cause it wasn’t coming in clearly? I feel that way about too many people.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

Winter hack: Avoid the cold by never leaving your house.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is no one talking about the sheer pleasure of coming home from vacation and using your own bathroom.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

Can’t, I’m pulling it together.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Before borrowing money from a friend, decide which you need most.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

If you’ve never been hit with gay allegations, you’re not fly enough.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

My kids couldn’t care less about personal hygiene unless we are running late somewhere.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

55 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,324

Funny Quotes Topics

17,443

Funny Quotes Images

15,324

Updated

Jan 2, 2026

Users Online

3,312

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇲 has viewed:

I got confused by all the yard signs, and I think I may have voted for a realtor.

Someone from 🇷🇼 has shared:

Hey (with the intention of going to sleep).

Someone from 🇸🇬 has viewed:

They should invent a job that actually wants to hire you after you apply.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has shared:

Me going to work because I’m too honest to scam people, too shy to be an influencer, too good for a sugar daddy, and too dumb for crypto.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

Might make a living will because I don’t want my family deciding whether to pull the plug. My dad has a long history of being against wasting electricity.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has viewed:

In other news, congrats to my therapist for securing a 4 year contract with me.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

I refuse to learn the color coding for heart emojis. Your heart means what I want it to, and vice versa.

Someone from 🇵🇰 has bookmarked:

Not to brag, but I don’t need alcohol to send texts I’ll regret.

Someone from 🇦🇹 has bookmarked:

I’m glad nobody can see the face I make when I’ve just started the washing machine and then spot a sock on the floor.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Reddit:

Today’s book recommendation: “The Art of Silence” by the famous Chinese philosopher Shut-Up.

Trending via Reddit:

Horoscope: You will give blood generously this week, but it won’t be your idea.

Just landed via Twitch:

She’s a 10, but she says ‘Orwellian’ when it’s clearly ‘Kafkaesque”.

Breaking via Twitch:

“It’s Raining Men” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” are the same song from different points of view.

Live now on Threads:

Nobody sighs louder than an unemployed, debt-free dog who spends at least 16 hours a day sleeping.

Trending via Discord:

It seems a little unfair that the people who want to go to bed have to put the people to bed who don’t want to go to bed.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

The bowling ball actually hangs out with the pins after work. There isn’t beef there.

Just landed via WeChat:

Ever since I was a little girl, I have loved staying up really late, hanging out with myself, and thinking about stuff and things.

Shared recently on WeChat:

Sorry, I’m late. I got here when I wanted to.

Going viral on TikTok:

My daily exercise routine involves running late, jumping to conclusions and pushing my luck.

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