Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

Sundays are weird. You want to relax, but your brain’s like, “Shouldn’t you be panicking about something?”

Someone from 🇩🇯 has shared:

The main function of the little toe on your foot is to make sure that all the objects and furniture in the house are in the correct place.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

People who ask “Can I call you” are so sweet. Like, obviously you cannot, but so sweet.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has downloaded:

Life hack: if you run out of treadmill space for your clothes, get a piano.

Someone from 🇷🇸 has downloaded:

Don’t really want to have 6-8 pints and a takeaway tonight, but it’s Friday and rules are rules.

Someone from 🇧🇭 has shared:

Just checked my bank account. Looks like everyone’s getting well wishes for Christmas.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has viewed:

There is nothing an orgasm can’t fix, I have researched it extensively.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has bookmarked:

One of the keys to happiness is a bad memory.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,410

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Messenger:

So rude to come up with solutions to my excuses.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

“Your password is too weak!” Just wait until you see my impulse control.

Going bananas on WhatsApp:

If I’m ever murdered, I don’t want two women with a podcast solving the case in their spare time.

Just landed via TikTok:

I taped a picture of my paycheck on my front door to keep all the solicitors away.

Trending via YouTube:

You are never too old to achieve your dreams. Prince Charles had to wait 73 years.

Spotted on YouTube:

If I’m ever mad at you, just talk to me in a sweeter and softer tone, and watch how quickly that anger disappears.

Shared recently on YouTube:

If I were a higher power, and people were doing evil in my name, I’d probably stop it … but that’s just me.

Making waves on Discord:

Every girl is defined by their one lost love. And by that I mean the one fast food item that was discontinued without warning, subsequently ruining their life.

Live now on Slack:

Worst fears: 1. being infertile 2. being pregnant.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

How many times does one have to open the fridge door before cake appears inside?

Funny stain removal quotes

New funny stain removal quotes 👇

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

4 weeks ago

church, cleaner, cleaning, humor, i, job, job loss, loss, lost, removal, stain, stain removal, stains, still, window, window cleaner

All funny stain removal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

30 shares on Twitch this month:

I could own a thousand summer dresses, and it still wouldn’t be enough.

95 shares on Threads this month:

Just once I’d like to wake up, turn on the news, and hear “Monday has been cancelled,” and then go back to sleep.

94 shares on Slack this month:

If I’m reading my Twitter feed correctly, Jennifer Aniston killed JFK.

74 shares on Pinterest this month:

As an exorcist, whenever I hear of some new poor soul possessed by a demon, all I can think is Ka-Ching!

61 shares on Facebook this month:

Most puns make me feel numb, but math puns make me feel number.

49 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Odd people reviewing a dessert: It’s not too sweet which is what I like.

93 shares on Threads this month:

I hate finishing a series that I enjoyed, because what now?

91 shares on X this month:

Stop blaming everyone for all your problems. Pick one person you hate and blame them for everything.

30 shares on WeChat this month:

I miss when bills had nothing to do with me.

35 shares on Facebook this month:

Winnie the Pooh had the right idea in this goddam heat. Crop top with his honey pot facing the world.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇮 has viewed:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Someone from 🇸🇪 has viewed:

Me: I have a cut under my fingernail. Universe: Excellent, I will send you an unusually high number of encounters with citrus fruit.

Someone from 🇱🇾 has shared:

Absolutely destroyed my bed last night… I cuddled those covers so hard.

Someone from 🇸🇾 has downloaded:

“I’m too young to be forgetting why I walked into a room.”

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

I don’t expect everything handed to me, just set it down outside my door.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

Why is experimental noise music always scary metallic noises and never fun sounds like people clapping and laughing and like bubbles and stuff?

Someone from 🇮🇳 has copied:

If the earth is so flat, explain why cats haven’t pushed everything off it yet. You can’t.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has bookmarked:

Opening the web before 9am is crazy. Like, did you even try to have a good day?

Someone from 🇺🇬 has bookmarked:

If I win the lottery, no one around me will be broke, and I truly mean that. I will move to a wealthy neighborhood.

Someone from 🇸🇩 has bookmarked:

I wear a lot of clothes for someone who hates doing laundry.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Threads:

Just realized John the Baptist and Winnie the Pooh have the same middle name.

Shared recently on Threads:

Walmart was wild as hell today, so I fit right in.

Going viral on YouTube:

Your problems are neither sexual nor spiritual, they are gastrointestinal.

Breaking via Snapchat:

My kids wanted a spooky story from the olden days so I told them the internet used to scream when you turned it on.

Spotted on X:

Calling women “bro” to make sure they know they’re in the deepest trenches of the friend zone.

Breaking via WhatsApp:

I’ve reached the age where people talk loudly and slowly to me.

Just shared via X:

Lucky for me, I don’t have enough friends for an intervention.

Seen just now on Slack:

If boring was a brand, you’d be the ambassador.

Shared recently on TikTok:

The Slow and the Furious: me navigating a shopping cart through a grocery store filled with morons.

Spotted on Threads:

I like to begin every day by looking forward to the end of the day.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny stain removal quotes

New funny stain removal quotes 👇

Despite removing all the stains, I still lost my job as a church window cleaner.

All funny stain removal quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨