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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

Maybe the reason we weren’t that affected by all the violence we saw in cartoons as kids is because it was offset by classical music.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

How am I supposed to relax when there are things?

Someone from 🇯🇴 has viewed:

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

Someone from 🇧🇫 has viewed:

They don’t put cars in malls anymore, like they used to.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Can’t stand British posts on my timeline. “I bought this for four squids and a halfpenny!” What the hell are you talking about?

Someone from 🇯🇵 has bookmarked:

Just told my cat I’d give her 500 bucks to stop meowing.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has bookmarked:

I look like a casual, laid-back guy, but it’s like a circus in my head.

Someone from 🇹🇴 has viewed:

Everyone focused on the lip filler, but it’s really the chin filler that is the real villain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,532

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

If I ask “What’s your zodiac sign?” it’s either because we’re vibing or you’re getting on my nerves.

Freshly posted on Threads:

I have now learned the moonwalk. It’s visually the coolest way to get fresh dog poop off the soles of your shoes.

Seen just now on Threads:

Why would I date a nonchalant man? I like my men how I like my thong.

Going viral on WeChat:

A little friendly reminder that if somebody looks tired, you really don’t have to tell them.

Just landed via Reddit:

Kid, I have jeans older than you.

Just landed via Telegram:

If you relate to me, get some help!

Going bananas on LinkedIn:

Just be good and kind to your children. Not only are they the future of the world, they’re the ones who can sign you into a home.

Spotted on Twitch:

I need a button in Zoom meetings where it just freezes my screen and makes it look like I’m having network issues.

Freshly posted on Instagram:

Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.

Shared recently on Slack:

My skin has so much oil, I’m surprised countries aren’t fighting over who controls it.

223 Funny take quotes

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Social Media Stars ⭐

67 shares on Telegram this month:

If you’re having a good day today, don’t play Wordle.

36 shares on Telegram this month:

Shut up brain, I wasn’t even talking to me.

35 shares on Threads this month:

Adding “but that’s just me” after giving the absolute worst advice to a coworker.

48 shares on Pinterest this month:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

29 shares on Messenger this month:

I want to learn scuba diving but I’m terrified of the orchestral music in underwater documentaries.

21 shares on Twitch this month:

Do you laugh at your own jokes, or are you emotionally stable?

25 shares on Pinterest this month:

A real smart TV would increase the volume when you started eating chips.

44 shares on Messenger this month:

Have a good weekend, unless you have other plans.

52 shares on Instagram this month:

My thighs are bigger than my chances in life.

83 shares on TikTok this month:

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

You know you’re a bad cook when the dog won’t lick the plate.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is there so much day left at the end of my energy?

10 folks are currently checking 👀

I like people who can admit their mistakes and apologize. In other words, I like very few people.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Even if you like anime, you gotta still wear deodorant, man.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

“Is this a joke to you?” Unfortunately, everything is a little bit of a joke to me.

10 folks are currently checking 👀

Only DM me if you like disappointment.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

It goes like this: You are born and then you basically do almost everything wrong. Then you die.

6 folks are currently checking 👀

I don’t know who is writing my story, but they got to throw in a win somewhere or put the pen down. I need a break.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Love it when you say or do some common sense thing and the other person has “file not found” written all over their face.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,443

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

I’ll bet the guy who invented the snooze button never invented anything else.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

“I’ll see” = not coming, never was coming, never even considered it.

Someone from 🇮🇷 has viewed:

You wear a white shirt and all of a sudden everybody wants to go eat spaghetti.

Someone from 🇭🇷 has viewed:

Why can’t Chinese restaurants chop the broccoli in their dishes? I feel like I’m trying to fit an entire bonsai tree into my mouth.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

My passport probably thinks I’m in prison.

Someone from 🇧🇪 has viewed:

There’s nothing worse than accidentally becoming an important person at your job.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

Things can feel really overwhelming. Sometimes days or even weeks can get really hectic. Don’t forget that life is all about getting as much phone time as possible. Never lose sight of that.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has copied:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has copied:

All strapless bras need to be taken off the shelves. A total recall. We do not have the technology yet.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has shared:

When you have bad handwriting, notes to yourself are just fun little riddles you get to solve later.

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on Twitch:

NFTs were less about the money and more about the friends you scammed along the way.

Spotted on YouTube:

Our parents just don’t know how far we rode them bikes when we were younger.

Spotted on Pinterest:

I don’t always say something stupid. But when I do, I keep talking and make it worse.

Making waves on TikTok:

Ping me if your boobs glow in the dark.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I have a drawer in my kitchen that I can’t open anymore because of that one time I decided to put a spatula in it.

Trending via X:

Fundamentally, I understand chess, because I too would never let my king feel unsafe.

Trending via Telegram:

There is no bigger lie than “fun for the whole family”.

Breaking via Pinterest:

Love is not pushing them down the stairs when you have the opportunity.

Making waves on Instagram:

It’s amazing to think that a Penguin wrote all of those classic books.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Sorry, my bedroom looks like a child with a credit card decorated it. Do you still want to bone?

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