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129 Funny take quotes

I would be more patient if it didn’t take so long.

3 months ago

One week of daily crunches and I have abs…urdly underestimated how long it will take to see results.

3 months ago

Gonna start an app for cat sitters where they can review the cats they take care of and it’ll be called Litterboxd.

3 months ago

At my funeral, take the bouquet off my casket and throw it in the crowd to see who next.

3 months ago

The worst is when it’s too late to take a nap but too early to go to bed.

3 months ago

Some of you need to clean your room before you take a selfie.

3 months ago

Hold on, I just need to take off my glasses and put my face in my hands about it first.

3 months ago

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

3 months ago

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

3 months ago

What is the name of the course in medical school where you learn not to take your patients seriously?

3 months ago

Democracy is a fine thing. The bad thing is that the stupid people are allowed to take part.

3 months ago

Aliens: We are here to take over. Me: Thank God.

3 months ago

The number one rule of Thanksgiving dinner is take your own vehicle so you can leave on your own terms.

3 months ago

There is no sex. I lied. You are gonna lay here and take personality quizzes with me.

3 months ago

A piece of chocolate contains just enough energy to take another one.

3 months ago

Whenever you feel like the world is falling apart, take a deep breath and remember you’re right.

3 months ago

We should be able to take our arms off when we go to sleep, we have the technology.

3 months ago

It should be illegal to take a nap and still have a headache when you wake up. Like, I shut it off and back on again, why are you still here?

3 months ago

Rule #1 for family reunions: Always bring your own car so you can take off whenever you want.

3 months ago

“This too shall pass.” And then some other bullshit will come and take its place. It never f**king ends.

3 months ago