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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

The most unrealistic part of cooking shows is when they have enough room in their fridge to fit an entire baking sheet.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

I wish I loved anything as much as my two year old loves pulling my pants down.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

It sucks that crazy people ruined wearing tinfoil hats for those of us that just did it for fashion purposes.

Someone from 🇫🇷 has bookmarked:

I love being left to my own devices. It’s like yeah, these are my devices.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Every time a bird poops on my car, I eat a plate of wings on the front porch to show them what I’m capable of.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has bookmarked:

According to a new study, people who often trail off in the middle of a sentence are 30% more likely to

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Today’s the day I’m gonna’ make the onions cry.

Someone from 🇦🇱 has bookmarked:

Not again. I mean good morning.

Someone from 🇭🇹 has viewed:

You can’t spell disappointment without me.

Someone from 🇲🇳 has downloaded:

I hope this email finds you at relative peace with the paradox of existence.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

42 minutes ago

3,458

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Reddit:

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

Just landed via Twitch:

I have a condition where if I don’t walk as fast as humanly possible wherever I go, I will die. I’m like the bus in Speed.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Being a serial killer is much like being a comedian, in that you either hit it big and get your own Netflix special, or you spend eternity popping up on shitty podcasts.

Spreading quickly via X:

Everyone’s an empath until I need to borrow some cash.

Spreading quickly via Telegram:

There should be a true crime story about feeding someone a peanut butter sandwich and giving them nothing to drink.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Genies are a myth perpetuated by creepy lamps who just want to get rubbed more.

Going viral on Pinterest:

One day I will start learning from my mistakes. Today is not that day. Tomorrow isn’t looking so good either.

Going viral on Telegram:

I’d like to shrink you down and add you to my keychain.

Going viral on YouTube:

You can’t change your past but you can change your pasta.

Just landed via Discord:

To cut the long story short, I have spent all my money.

Home » Funny Thank God Quotes

Funny thank God quotes

Funny thank God quotes bring a hilarious twist to gratitude 🙏😂, turning everyday blessings into moments of pure joy and laughter. Whether you’re celebrating small wins or dodging life’s curveballs, these witty sayings remind us to stay thankful with a smile 😄✨. Ready to brighten your day and share some good vibes? Let’s dive into the lighter side of giving thanks! 🎉🙌

New funny thank God quotes 👇

6 months ago
Share →: A hacker called me and said he had all my passwords. I got a pen and paper and said ‘Thank God for that, what are they?’

Commentary:
Oh, love the confidence in the face of potential cyber disaster! 😂🖊️ Let's hope that hacker has a sense of humor too! 🤞#StayPositive #BringItOn
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: Thank God my pets can’t talk. They simply know too much.

Commentary:
"Imagine the secrets our furry friends would spill if they could speak! 🐱🐶 Maybe it's best to keep their world domination plans under wraps. Thank goodness for their loyalty and silence… for now. 🔐😂"

For even more funny thank God quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny thank God quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

42 minutes ago

3,455

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇯 has copied:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

Rom-com idea: Gozilla +1. Godzilla gets invited to a wedding but struggles to convince anyone to go with him.

Someone from 🇧🇼 has downloaded:

A haunted house, but every room is just learning more about Will & Jada.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has copied:

I want a president who promises no jobs. I don’t want to have a job.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has bookmarked:

Nice to finally get back that hour they stole earlier this year.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

That awkward moment when you’ve said “What?” three times, so you just say “Oh, yeah..” even though you have no idea what they said.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

Cooking your own meals really is the best way to devote 50 hours of your life every month to save $50.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has viewed:

Due to personal reasons, I’m evil now.

Someone from 🇰🇼 has copied:

I decided not to go for a run today because of the weather, but mostly because of the running.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has downloaded:

If you were the birthday gift I bought my daughter 3 months ago, where would you be hiding?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

I’m forced to conclude that not liking my posts is a you problem.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

The heels stay on during sex because I only painted the toe nails that were showing.

Shared recently on Messenger:

Would pay $10 a month for Summer Premium Package without wasps.

Breaking via TikTok:

Once you find a pair of pants that fit you perfectly, it’s over for all your other pants.

Shared recently on Telegram:

I called the cops on my own party once because I was ready to go to bed.

Making waves on Discord:

Telling my coworkers I can’t talk in meetings today because I need to save my voice for concerts this weekend.

Going viral on Discord:

Sometimes I have to remind myself to put down my iPhone, go outside, and judge people in person.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Hotel towels are always the worst. So thick and fluffy that I can’t even close my suitcase.

Just landed via Messenger:

I like it when it’s raining, because I can hold my umbrella really low and it makes everyone headless.

Spotted on Snapchat:

The people that sing their heart out, but terribly, are my people.

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