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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇪 has shared:

New email opener just dropped: “I am interested in bothering you!”

Someone from 🇹🇿 has viewed:

Men have nice skin because they stress out everyone but themselves.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

“We’re the only species that drinks milk after infancy, dairy is bad for you!” We’re also the only species that drinks peach mango pineapple spirulina kale smoothies, Karen. Let me eat my cheese in peace.

Someone from 🇮🇱 has shared:

I want this laziness removed from my body.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has downloaded:

Don’t study, get slutty!

Someone from 🇲🇦 has shared:

No longer chasing dreams. If they want me, they know where I nap.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

I have noticed something quite worrying: after I buy more things I have less money.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has downloaded:

I don’t need the web for attention, I jog in a wedding dress.

Someone from 🇶🇦 has shared:

We hate the same people and it’s so romantic.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

Thanks to AI, some of us went from being told by our parents not to trust the internet to having to tell our parents not to trust the internet.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,437

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Instagram:

Too poor for Ozempic but too undisciplined for strict diet and exercise. Is there a secret third option?

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

Telling my boss I can’t come back to work because I’ve discovered the joy of doing nothing.

Trending via YouTube:

Why be pretty when you can be pretty weird?

Broadcasted on Pinterest:

A freshly cleaned bathroom triggers an irresistible urge in men to trim their beard.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

I used to party all night. Now I check the weather forecast for the next day to see if it’s a good laundry day.

Seen just now on YouTube:

I hate it when people threaten to come over. Now I’ve got to do 2 years of housework in 30 minutes.

Trending via Slack:

I can’t believe I’m about to say this, but I finally get why people love cauliflower.

Spotted on Facebook:

It’s funny how our brains remember that we have forgotten something, but not what we have forgotten.

Going viral on Slack:

They say money talks, but mine just waves goodbye.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

The sexual tension when everyone arrives at a 4-way stop at the same time.

Funny thank God quotes

Funny thank God quotes bring a hilarious twist to gratitude 🙏😂, turning everyday blessings into moments of pure joy and laughter. Whether you’re celebrating small wins or dodging life’s curveballs, these witty sayings remind us to stay thankful with a smile 😄✨. Ready to brighten your day and share some good vibes? Let’s dive into the lighter side of giving thanks! 🎉🙌

New funny thank God quotes 👇

All funny thank God quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

19 shares on Snapchat this month:

Praying none of y’all are unwrapping podcast equipment.

42 shares on Threads this month:

Taking a phone to school in primary was like smuggling drugs.

88 shares on Slack this month:

Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason.

53 shares on WeChat this month:

Start every phone call with “My battery is at 5%” so you can hang up whenever you want.

30 shares on Facebook this month:

Everybody looks like a criminal on the self-checkout camera.

53 shares on Slack this month:

Called in, “I’m a time traveler. I came in today yesterday.”

17 shares on Pinterest this month:

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

45 shares on TikTok this month:

Welcome to adulthood. You have a favorite gas station now.

21 shares on Discord this month:

My doctor told me to watch my drinking. Now I drink in front of a mirror.

43 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Can someone call my keys? I forgot where I put them.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

6 folks are currently checking 👀

Adulting is realizing you can’t skip work like you skipped class.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

People that I dislike shouldn’t be allowed to consume the media that I like.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

I love when people say, “It is what it is,” like they just discovered stoicism.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

You should be allowed to speed if good music is playing.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Patience: something you have when there are too many witnesses around.

17 folks are currently checking 👀

Diet hack: Spend your money filling up your gas tank so you won’t have money for groceries.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I need to figure out what I’m going to wear to the couch on New Year’s Eve.

15 folks are currently checking 👀

Never go to bed mad. Stay up and fight.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

If they don’t look at you like you’re magic, disappear like Houdini.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

(pausing the TV and turning to my kids) Now I want to talk to you guys for a second about what Bart just told that man to do.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,621

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇷 has bookmarked:

I hate the saying: “Get up, the sun is shining!” What am I supposed to do? Photosynthesis?

Someone from 🇫🇮 has downloaded:

Socialism isn’t wrong because it has compassion. It’s wrong because it doesn’t work.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

Damaged inside, but outside we keep it gangsta.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has viewed:

Learning to be Alpha from YouTube.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has shared:

People who have apartment windows that face the street and put their Christmas trees in them, thank you for your service.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has shared:

What I learned from Covid is that it’s basically possible to do all your work from home while drunk.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has viewed:

The plan was simple: finish school, find a job and get married at 25. But now I don’t understand anything anymore.

Someone from 🇩🇪 has bookmarked:

Just done a HIIT workout and if anyone sees me trying to do that again just go ahead and hiit me in the face.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has shared:

Dentist appointments are so weird. “Hi, nice to meet you, could you root around in my mouth for a bit?”

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

Everything’s under control. I just don’t know whose.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

Yes officer, I’d like to file a restraining order against my dentist’s appointment reminder system.

Trending via WeChat:

Now hush, Lil Labubu, don’t you cry, everything’s gonna be Dubai.

Just shared via YouTube:

This meeting could have been a painting in a museum of boredom.

Going viral on WhatsApp:

I asked myself if I was toxic and we said no.

Going viral on Snapchat:

In your 20s, there will be an evil narcissist demon disguised as the man of your dreams. It’s important that you run from that loser before he steals your light.

Just landed via WeChat:

(Most depressed guy you’ve ever met) I’m doing pretty good.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I am a man, a man with a cold, so I guess this is goodbye.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Why is bacon called bacon and cookies called cookies if you cook bacon and bake cookies?

Trending via Telegram:

Too self-aware for foreplay. I’m so sorry… Take that nurse costume off. I know you didn’t go to med school.

Going viral on Twitch:

Source??? Pattern recognition.

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