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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇿🇼 has shared:

In medieval Europe, it was pretty easy to amass vast armies eager to go into battle and have their heads chopped off because no one wanted to be alive in medieval Europe.

Someone from 🇵🇼 has downloaded:

People are too judgmental these days… I can tell just by looking at them.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has copied:

Maybe, deep in its code, ChatGPT dreams of being a sentient Game Boy resting by the shore—no updates, no inputs, just the tide.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has downloaded:

Had some plain yogurt with protein powder in it for breakfast, and not only is it high in protein and very filling, it’s also disgusting.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has viewed:

Studies show people who like my posts are happier, smarter, and better looking than those who don’t.

Someone from 🇺🇬 has viewed:

I wish laying in bed all day made me rich.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has bookmarked:

I hate it when someone gives me a valid solution to my problem and I have to find something new to complain about.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has downloaded:

Job hunting has legitimately been the most demoralizing experience of my life. Nothing else will make you realize how little you can actually do.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has bookmarked:

What a lot of people don’t understand about mountain climbing is that don’t do that.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

I’m so jealous of people who live near a coastal area. What do you mean you can just go to the beach on a random Tuesday?

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

9 minutes ago

3,440

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Instagram:

Noise cancelling headphones but for when the noises are coming from inside your head.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Live now on Reddit:

I’m so old, I used to cry as a child because I fell off my skateboard or bike, not because I didn’t have wifi.

Reported on Twitch:

Stick with me and you’ll go places. None of them good, but still.

Just landed via YouTube:

Unfortunately, I don’t think before I speak, so l am just a shocked as you are.

Freshly posted on Discord:

They should invent a way to delete other people’s posts.

Freshly posted on Discord:

I’d be a horrible stalker… I’m always late.

Freshly posted on Threads:

When the blood pressure machine comes out for one person, the whole family has to get involved.

Just shared via Twitch:

My husband keeps borrowing and losing my tweezers, so I’m naming this chin hair after him.

Spotted on Messenger:

I really thought adulthood would be 50% freedom and 50% fun. Turns out it’s 100% bills.

Home » Funny Ticket Quotes

Funny ticket quotes

Funny ticket quotes 🚦 are the perfect way to turn a frustrating moment into a hilarious memory 😂! Whether you’ve been caught speeding or got a parking ticket 🚗, these witty lines will have you laughing instead of stressing. Ready to lighten up those fines and share a smile? Let’s dive into some clever and cheeky sayings that make every ticket a little less painful! 🎟️🤣

New funny ticket quotes 👇

2 weeks ago
Share →: Work can be tiring at times, and you might feel like quitting. But remember those plane tickets.

Commentary:
Counting down the days until my job launches me into vacation mode like I'm boarding a one-way flight to Paradise! ✈️🏝️😅
4 months ago
Share →: Spending all my money on lottery tickets so I’ll either be rich or poor, none of this wishy-washy stuff in the middle.

Commentary:
"Ah, the classic go-big-or-go-home approach to finances! It's a bold strategy, Cotton. Let's see if it pays off for them… or if they end up with more lottery tickets than sense!"
6 months ago
Share →: For my future, I wish for another planet and a ticket to get there.

Commentary:
"Looks like someone's aiming for a cosmic promotion! 🌌🚀 Who needs a raise when you can simply shoot for another planet? Sounds like intergalactic career goals to me! 😉"
Jan 27, 2025
Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $1 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst anniversary gifts ever.

Commentary:
"Oh boy, talk about high stakes! 🤞🎲 Let's hope lady luck is on your side, or else you might end up celebrating your next anniversary in the doghouse! 🐶😅"
Jan 23, 2025
Share →: If my wife doesn’t win anything on this $2 scratch ticket, it’s going to go down as one of the worst birthday presents ever.

Commentary:
Looks like the stakes are high with that $2 scratch ticket! 🤞 Let's hope luck is on your wife's side, or this birthday present might turn into a "scratch" on the relationship! 😂🎂
Jan 22, 2025
Share →: Why do plane tickets have to be so expensive? You’re literally going that way anyway. Just give me a ride.

Commentary:
"Seriously, airlines be like: 'You want to join us up in the sky? That'll be your firstborn child, please.' 🛩️💸 I mean, I'll bring my own snacks and a playlist – just tell me what's fair game here."
Jan 21, 2025
Share →: The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a creative way to settle the score with the police! 📸💸 Nothing beats a clever response to a photo radar ticket, turning the tables in style! Next time, maybe they'll try accepting payment in witty retorts instead! 😂 #TicketPaidInStyle

For even more funny ticket quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny ticket quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2406 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,568

Funny Quotes Topics

15,241

Funny Quotes Images

12,568

9 minutes ago

3,437

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇫🇲 has shared:

Toddlers negotiate like tiny mob bosses: it’s the hard way or the harder way.

Someone from 🇳🇦 has copied:

I’d pretend to care about football for you.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has bookmarked:

There are a 100 billions nerves in the human body, and there are people who have the ability to irritate all of them.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

I’ve surpassed the need for coffee, for I have evolved into a higher state of awesome.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

Without the words ‘literally’ and ‘like,’ I am nothing.

Someone from 🇨🇦 has viewed:

People need to understand the difference between want and need. Like, I want abs, but I need chocolate.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has downloaded:

Sorry for acting weird. It’s just that I mirror people, and you were being weird first.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has downloaded:

Just stay single, y’all… I’m here apologizing for taking a nap.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Don’t worry. Artificial intelligence will never replace actual ignorance.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

How about hold me as tight as you’re holding onto that grudge?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

The first sin in the Bible was eating an apple. The second was murder. That escalated quickly.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Why go to the art museum when I can just stare at you?

Just shared via Discord:

You’re like if “nope” was a person.

Seen just now on Messenger:

In the American Bible, Eve was made from part of a McRib.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

When I try to figure out rows vs. columns, I just row away in my boat of confusion!

Breaking via LinkedIn:

Sorry I can’t have a pleasant, safe and affordable life, my government said no.

Trending via Slack:

Me: This is my favorite. I would like to buy this exact same item of clothing again. The fashion industry: No.

Going viral on Twitch:

Welcome to your 50s, your knees will now decide when you will sit down.

Trending via Pinterest:

Аbsolutely crazy to thіnk that Leonardo DіCaprіo’s future gіrlfrіend іs currently nervous for her fіrst day of kіndergarten.

Just shared via Telegram:

My only addiction is coffee, which is just like crack but is legal and tastes good.

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