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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇷 has copied:

Men be like, “But I’m different.” Yeah, a different type of disappointment.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has downloaded:

Dear recipe websites. I don’t need your life story. Just give me the recipe.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has copied:

Trying to decide what to burn for dinner, so I can order pizza.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has copied:

Gonna finish eating all these Christmas cookies so I’m no longer tempted to eat them.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

Wow, I absolutely love your outfit. The black really brings out the pet hair on it.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has viewed:

You ever have your knees crack so good that you expect them to glow in the dark. Yeah, me too.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has downloaded:

You ever get surprised by your own recurring issues? Like, come on man, I thought we were past this.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

In my defense, I was left alone unsupervised.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has copied:

If painting yourself into a corner was considered art, I’d be Michelangelo.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has bookmarked:

Good things happen when you smile or when you’re naked.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

6 minutes ago

3,436

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Messenger:

Nobody victim blames more than my oldest son when he’s in trouble for punching his little brother.

Just shared via TikTok:

I had a hard time coping with the divorce. I’m fine now, but at first I was almost crazy with joy.

Breaking via YouTube:

This going into the office stuff blows. Like, I seriously have to wear clothes now.

Going viral on X:

Love when a doctor emails me about my “outstanding bill”. If it’s so good, why don’t you pay it?

Live now on LinkedIn:

Cats spend two-thirds of their lives sleeping, and the other third making viral videos.

Making waves on Facebook:

Just because you haven’t found the right person, doesn’t mean you will.

Shared recently on TikTok:

In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.

Live now on Snapchat:

I’m cosplaying as a functional adult again.

Spotted on Snapchat:

I’m so old, I used to block people by simply holding the door shut.

Shared recently on YouTube:

My toxic trait is that I expect people to have common sense, and I get mad when they don’t.

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

6 months ago

The police sent me a photo radar ticket so I sent them a photo of a hundred dollars, so I guess we’re even.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
Looks like someone found a creative way to settle the score with the police! 📸💸 Nothing beats a clever response to a photo radar ticket, turning the tables in style! Next time, maybe they'll try accepting payment in witty retorts instead! 😂 #TicketPaidInStyle

dollars, even, guess, humor, i, joke, me, money, photo, police, radar, ticket

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

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Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

6 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇸🇮 has bookmarked:

You can just enjoy kombucha. You don’t need to go on a tirade about cleansing your gut.

Someone from 🇦🇩 has viewed:

Someone asked me how much I normally spend on a bottle of wine. Answering “usually an hour” wasn’t the right answer. I know this now.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

No one buys my theory that red fire hydrants are filled with ketchup and yellow fire hydrants are filled with mustard.

Someone from 🇸🇿 has viewed:

Facebook should just go back to being Hot or Not dot com.

Someone from 🇮🇪 has copied:

All my life lessons were learned by watching people who took my advice.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has downloaded:

Every outdoor cat should be given a little cowboy hat and a gun.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has bookmarked:

The place where you pour in the gas is the car’s gasshole.

Someone from 🇧🇷 has bookmarked:

Sorry I’m late, I was fighting for my right to party.

Someone from 🇰🇪 has viewed:

People who read and do research will always sound crazy to people who don’t.

Someone from 🇲🇨 has bookmarked:

People will think you know what you’re talking about if you give your opinion while cleaning a pair of reading glasses.

Social Media Log 💫

Just landed via Facebook:

You only live once and thank God for that.

Making waves on Threads:

It’s fun getting room service. I just love eating a $19 hamburger at a desk in front of a mirror.

Going viral on X:

I’ve never had a beer in the shower; I’m saving it for a very low moment in my life.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Did you guys hear about the “internet”? Apparently, you can say literally anything there.

Trending via YouTube:

My savings account has been empty for so long that a Spirit Halloween just opened up inside it.

Just landed via Slack:

“Left alone” would have been the right answer as a child to the question of what I wanted to be when I grew up.

Making waves on WeChat:

A moment of silence for everything I have to do but am not doing.

Just shared via Twitch:

I am not someone you have to host if you invite me, because I will have canceled.

Just shared via Instagram:

If your first child is uncomplicated, then it’s a trick of nature to get you to have a second child. The second will be an unpredictable bundle of energy that seems to get by without sleep.

Trending via YouTube:

Me, at the intervention: “Ah look, all the reasons I drink gathered in one place.”

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