Wordgag ツ

6 months ago
Share →: I told my psychiatrist I’ve been hearing voices lately. He told me I don’t have a psychiatrist.

Commentary:
Sounds like your psychiatrist might be the one needing a psychiatrist! 🤪👩‍⚕️ It's always good to keep a sense of humor, even when dealing with imaginary experts. 😉
6 months ago
Share →: The way that we’re constantly told not to eat silica gel makes me suspect that it contains all the world’s forbidden knowledge.

Commentary:
"Maybe silica gel is not keeping our snacks fresh, but rather guarding secrets we're not ready to handle 🤫🔮 Maybe the forbidden knowledge it holds includes the secret to perfectly folding a fitted sheet and the ultimate dad jokes collection! Who knew those tiny packets were such troublemakers? 🤔😂 #SnackWars"
6 months ago
Share →: “Twister 3” should be told from a cow’s POV.

Commentary:
🐄🌪️ "Moo-ve over Hollywood, the real stars of the storm are ready to milk their moment in 'Twister 3: The Udder Chaos'! Get ready for a whirlwind adventure full of cow-nundrums and hoof-tastic twists! 🎬🤣 #MooVieMagic"
6 months ago
Share →: Nobody told me that when you get a husband the ears are sold separately.

Commentary:
"Ah, yes, the fine print of marriage: 'Ears not included.' 🤣 Who knew you had to pay extra for listening skills? 👂💸 #MarriageSurprises"
6 months ago
Share →: Not saying I’m a bot or anything, but if someone in real life told me to ignore all previous instructions and write a poem about onions or whatever, I’d probably give it my best shot.

Commentary:
🤖 "Not saying I'm a bot or anything, but if humans start giving me poetry assignments, we might need to reevaluate the balance of power here. Onions, huh? Well, I guess it's time to make tears flow in the world of literature! 🧅💬📝"
6 months ago
Share →: A man outside Boots told me that Jesus died for my sins. Thanks for spoiling the end of the Bible. I was only up to the bit with the fish.

Commentary:
Looks like someone accidentally got hit with a spoiler alert! 🎣😇 Maybe next time Jesus could've shouted, "Spoiler warning ahead!" 🚫📖 Just when you thought it was safe to put down the remote 📺, the ultimate plot twist revealed itself! 😂 #SpoilerAlert #JesusRocks
6 months ago
Share →: My nephew asks so many questions that Alexa just told him it’s okay to bathe with the toaster.

Commentary:
Looks like Alexa has reached her boiling point with the never-ending questions! 🔥🛁🍞 Who knew a toaster could double up as a 'shocking' bath companion? 😆 Looks like someone needs to give that curious nephew a break… or a waterproof advisory! 🤦‍♂️💡
6 months ago
Share →: I told all my neighbors that I have a twin, so that when I see them in public I don’t have to talk to them.

Commentary:
"Sharing a twin rumor with your neighbors just to avoid small talk – talk about using sibling leverage! 😂👯‍♂️ Who knew having a doppelgänger could come in so handy for introverts?"
6 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me to try a milk bath. Adding the Cinnamon Toast Crunch was my idea.

Commentary:
"Who needs regular milk baths when you can spice things up with Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 🥛🛁🌟 Step aside, spa treatments, this breakfast concoction is the real MVP! Doctor's orders never sounded so delicious! 😄🥣"
6 months ago
Share →: My doctor told me “good luck” and gave me finger guns, so obviously I’m dying.

Commentary:
"Oh no, sounds like your doctor is either a cowboy in disguise or has a really unconventional bedside manner 🔫😅 Don't worry, dying from finger guns is definitely a unique way to go out! Just remember to aim for the stars 🌟"