Commentary:
"Thinking clearly? That sounds like a premium feature I forgot to upgrade to! 😂🤔💭"
98 Funny told quotes
Whoever told you there’s no such thing as a stupid question lied.
Commentary:
"When curiosity calls and logic doesn't pick up! 🤔📞😂"
I told my wife to embrace her mistakes. She gave me a hug.
Commentary:
"Looks like you got a warm reminder that you're #1! 😂🤗 #EmbracingMistakes #HugItOut"
Told my homie I was “going through it” and he just said “go around it”.
Commentary:
🤣 "Told my homie I was 'going through it' and he just said 'go around it'." Sometimes the simplest solutions are the funniest! This friend clearly believes in taking the scenic route to problem-solving. 🛣️😂
My boss told me to show initiative, so I decided to finish work early.
Commentary:
Looks like you took the initiative to a whole new level! 🤣👏 Who knew finishing work early could be so productive? Your boss must be impressed with your efficiency! 😉 #WorkSmartNotHard
I am never hungrier than when I leave the dentist and told I can’t eat right away.
Commentary:
😂 "Ah, the irony of being ravenously hungry after a dental appointment! It's like your mouth is screaming 'feed me' while your dentist is saying 'not so fast, buddy!' 🦷🍔 Don't worry, that post-dentist feast will taste all the more satisfying after the mandated food exile!"
Told my girl I’m tired of her dramas and she bought me an energy drink.
Commentary:
Looks like she took your advice quite literally and gave you a boost in a can! 😂🥤 Who knew solving relationship problems could be as simple as cracking open a cold one! 🤷♂️ #energydrinksfixeverything
I am just a man, a man who told a woman to calm down, so I guess this is goodbye.
Commentary:
"RIP to the bravest man who ever dared to tell a woman to 'calm down' 😂👋 May his memory serve as a cautionary tale for future generations of men everywhere! Farewell, dear sir, you shall be dearly missed… by no one. 🙅♂️"
In case anyone hasn’t told you today, I’m beautiful.
Commentary:
Well, in case you missed the memo, let me remind you, I'm beautiful! 💁♀️✨ Who says self-praise isn't allowed? Just remember, confidence is key! 🌟 #SelfLoveGoals
My life coach told me I didn’t make the team.
Commentary:
Well, who needs a life coach when you've got rejection coming at you left and right? 🤷♂️ Looks like even the team didn't want you, but hey, at least you have a great sense of humor to fall back on! 😉 Just think of it as an opportunity to excel in solo sports like napping or Netflix marathons. 🏆 Keep that chin up, champ!