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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇿 has bookmarked:

I’m already ready to clock out from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇧🇦 has copied:

In banana years, I am bread.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

There’s a certain nothing about you.

Someone from 🇯🇵 has downloaded:

Ever think vampires just lied about hating garlic, now we’re just out here seasoning ourselves for them?

Someone from 🇲🇼 has viewed:

Nobody defends billionaires better than dudes making $50,000 a year.

Someone from 🇵🇱 has bookmarked:

Whenever my hormones try to get me to reproduce after all, I go to IKEA and watch the goings-on there. After that, I’m good again.

Someone from 🇸🇰 has shared:

Vacation is a time when every part of you can relax except your bowels.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has shared:

Forget sexy talk. I want breakfast talk. Describe those waffles to me nice and slow.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has shared:

Insurance is cool because even if you have it, it still kinda feels like you don’t.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has bookmarked:

True bravery is getting a text from a woman with three questions in it, and only responding to one.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,356

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via WeChat:

I am cool with January lasting forever because rent is due February 1.

Freshly posted on Snapchat:

If I block you and you email me, you’re getting another chance.

Going viral on Discord:

Born to hate people. Somehow ended up in customer service.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Kids today have it much easier. When I was growing up and something bad happened, we had to go outside and spread our misinformation in person.

Going viral on Instagram:

The fact that I procrastinate and still get the job done is the reason I still procrastinate.

Trending via Messenger:

Don’t let anyone ruin your day. Be a man. Ruin it yourself.

Making waves on Discord:

Parents become grandparents and lose all their senses. All of a sudden, they got McDonald’s money now.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Anyone who thinks being a pessimist isn’t any fun fails to appreciate the joy of saying, ‘I told you so.’

Just shared via X:

If I were a bird, I know who I’d poop on.

Just landed via LinkedIn:

Phones are wild… we really just sit around tapping glass all day.

Funny unco-worker quotes

New funny unco-worker quotes 👇

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

5 days ago

boundary, draining, humor, i, media, quick, real, self-care, social, social media, soul, unco-worker, uncousin, unfamily, unfollow, unfriend

All funny unco-worker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

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Social Media Stars ⭐

59 shares on Slack this month:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

12 shares on Snapchat this month:

I think some of you are faking your sarcasms.

36 shares on Discord this month:

From now on, I’m gonna tell guests that I made my house especially messy just for their visit. It was hard, but I got it done.

57 shares on TikTok this month:

I’ve never wrestled an angry alligator, but I have taken off a wet sports bra in the middle of summer. So, same thing.

99 shares on WhatsApp this month:

It’s curious how kids are always really hungry right before dinner and right after dinner, but never during actual dinner.

89 shares on WeChat this month:

I can cope well with most situations. Hearing someone smack is not one of them.

83 shares on WeChat this month:

It’s okay to love your job. Just know it doesn’t love you back.

90 shares on Reddit this month:

I don’t like the person I become when my boss tells me I should be working while at work.

44 shares on Facebook this month:

Those guys holding fish in their dating profile pictures are just demonstrating how they’ll carry you over the threshold after marriage.

98 shares on YouTube this month:

I’ve been ghosted enough to add paranormal investigator to my resume.

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇮 has downloaded:

Having children is like living in a frat house – nobody sleeps, everything’s broken, and there’s a lot of throwing up.

Someone from 🇯🇴 has shared:

They should invent harmless cigarettes for aura farming purposes.

Someone from 🇭🇳 has viewed:

My cat runs a secret cult. I just pay the rent.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has downloaded:

Shazam, but for whatever the hell goes on in the apartment upstairs.

Someone from 🇳🇷 has shared:

I’m too tired to shower. Anyone want to wash my back?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has shared:

I’m eating for two; me and the person I strive to be.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has copied:

My body cracks like a glow stick every time I move, but refuses to light up.

Someone from 🇨🇫 has viewed:

You’ve agreed to go out with me, so that’s going to immediately count against you.

Someone from 🇧🇬 has copied:

No thank you, I only like men who have no interest in me.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has viewed:

Girls will be like “it’s fine” and then go and curse your whole bloodline.

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Everyone is a genius until they try to use someone else’s microwave.

Spotted on Twitch:

My child had pancakes and syrup for breakfast so I guess I’ll be sticking to my furniture for the next week.

Spotted on WeChat:

Don’t tell me that everything was better in the past. I was there.

Going bananas on WeChat:

We went on a family vacation and it was a terrible experience. It was all whining, complaining, and tantrums. And don’t get me started on what my kids did.

Breaking via Discord:

They’re putting me through the penny flattening machine at the zoo.

Making waves on Facebook:

I wish I got hotter every time a man made me mad.

Just landed via Facebook:

I don’t care if it’s cliché, I will always enjoy a ‘small town but something messed up is happening’ story.

Going viral on TikTok:

If the line at the grocery store takes longer than 10 minutes, the candy beside the checkout should be free.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

“I’m not short. I’m just more down to earth than most people.”

Seen just now on Facebook:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

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Activity Log ✨

Funny unco-worker quotes

New funny unco-worker quotes 👇

I will unfriend, uncousin, unco-worker, unfollow, unfamily any draining soul real quick.

All funny unco-worker quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨