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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇱🇻 has viewed:

The perfect job for me would be the person staining things for detergent commercials.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

The urge to pee in the morning is so aggressive. Bro, like, chill we’re getting there. Don’t threaten to come out.

Someone from 🇸🇷 has bookmarked:

French fries are like the lifeboats on the Titanic. They never give you enough.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has viewed:

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

Someone from 🇳🇪 has copied:

Don’t suffer in silence. Make it everyone’s problem.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Does anyone know how to lower the difficulty setting on my life?

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

The downside of common sense is, having to deal with those that lack it.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Whenever I feel like I hate my job, I remind myself that I could be a food taster for the emperor.

Someone from 🇱🇻 has copied:

Once you start paying rent, every joke stops being funny.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has copied:

Don’t let the British accent fool you. I’m not saying anything smart.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

33 minutes ago

3,425

Social Media Log 💫

Going viral on WeChat:

Potatoes make French fries, chips and vodka. It’s like the other vegetables aren’t even trying.

Spotted on WeChat:

You can tell you’re getting old when the barber spends less time on the top of your head and more time on your ears.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Things I don’t want in my future house: An angry man.

Live now on Facebook:

Bone broth? Oh, you mean skeleton soup.

Spreading quickly via LinkedIn:

Age regressing by coughing like a toddler, with my tongue out.

Making waves on X:

I love dogs with human names because you get to say things like Bob pooped on the rug again.

Just shared via YouTube:

Hate when I get halfway there and have to go back for my teeth.

Breaking via Instagram:

Lego bricks are classic educational toys. You step on them once and you can do ballet.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

There’s a fat man inside me dying to get out.

Breaking via Telegram:

“I’m just playing devil’s advocate here.” Ok, why are you helping the devil?

Home » Funny Unexpected Quotes

87 Funny unexpected quotes

Funny unexpected quotes celebrate those surprise moments that catch us off guard — and leave us laughing! 😂🎁 Whether it’s an accidental text to the wrong person, a plot twist in your own life, or realizing your “quick nap” turned into a full sleep cycle, these quotes prove that the unexpected is often the funniest part of the day. Because when life throws a curveball, might as well laugh while ducking! 😆⚾🙃

New funny unexpected quotes 👇

3 days ago
Share →: Imagine you blocked me, and I crawled out from under your couch to ask why.

Commentary:
That's one way to handle tough conversations—From couch potato to confrontation! 😂🛋️👻
6 days ago
Share →: ‘Another bombshell has entered the villa!’ I say to myself as I walk in the front door of my own home.

Commentary:
Guess who just dropped the mic at the front door? 🎤🚪💥
6 days ago
Share →: If you think my posts are horrid, wait until you see the live stream of my colonoscopy.

Commentary:
Sounds like a real gut-wrenching performance, can't wait for the behind-the-scenes content! 🍿🩺😂
6 days ago
Share →: I just sneezed and farted at the same time. I think my body just took a screenshot.

Commentary:
When your body decides to multitask 😂📸 #ScreenshotLife
6 days ago
Share →: Got electrocuted while fixing the doorbell, and now I can hear my girlfriend’s thoughts. She’s thinking she should have called an electrician.

Commentary:
Now I'm not just shocked by the doorbell but also by how much my girlfriend wanted a professional. 🔌😜🔊🤯
7 days ago
Share →: Establish dominance over your cat by suddenly bolting out of the room for no reason.

Commentary:
Who knew cats were secretly training us for the Olympics? 🏃‍♂️🐈‍⬛😹
1 week ago
Share →: Had calamari for the first time ever, and it wasn’t that bad. Maybe I’ll try marriage next.

Commentary:
"Calamari tried and survived… marriage, here I come! 🦑💍🤣"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Always be kind. You never know who has a pool.

Commentary:
"Kindness is the key to pool party invites! 🏊‍♂️😄💦"
2 weeks ago
Share →: Due to unforeseen circumstances, I will be acting weird today.

Commentary:
"Why limit it to today? I'm embracing 'unforeseen circumstances' as a lifestyle! 😜🤪"
1 month ago
Share →: I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

Commentary:
"When the subtitles whisper 'smooching,' but your heart screams 'whoa, get a room!' 🤭💋🎬"

For even more funny unexpected quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny unexpected quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

765 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,927

Funny Quotes Topics

13,899

Funny Quotes Images

10,927

33 minutes ago

3,424

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇸 has viewed:

The main cause of immigration is we’re still a country where people want to go, but we’re working on fixing that.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has bookmarked:

Nicknamed my iPhone Lois Lane because it doesn’t recognize me without my glasses on either.

Someone from 🇲🇷 has shared:

Hardest part of beekeeping is thinking of all the names.

Someone from 🇧🇳 has bookmarked:

Washing my hands in the sink and then wiping them on my cat, like a towel.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

But have you tried getting slow neck kisses and soft ear whispers about it?

Someone from 🇬🇭 has copied:

Women aren’t complicated. Just give us attention and leave us alone.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has bookmarked:

How do I tell Instagram I don’t want to see guys almost eaten by gators?

Someone from 🇪🇹 has copied:

And is the financial stability in the room with us right now?

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

“You should exercise for at least 30 minutes every day”. Okay, and how much if you’re not trying to go to the Olympics?

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on Twitch:

“Stop bouncing your leg!” It’s either this or I start screaming.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Your future doctor is using ChatGPT to pass med school so you better start eating healthy.

Spreading quickly via Messenger:

I love rap beefs, it’s so romantic when two guys sing songs to each other.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

As long as you don’t ever give them your real name, they can’t accuse you of not keeping the mystery alive in your relationship.

Shared recently on Twitch:

My love language is caffeine and being left alone until I’m kind again.

Going viral on X:

Finally got around to emptying the vegetable drawer of the fridge before something started its independence movement in there.

Just landed via Messenger:

Umbrellas are great if you only want to get wet sideways.

Going viral on Facebook:

The only downside to dating hot men is that when it ends, he’s still hot.

Reported on WeChat:

If it’s a ghost ship, why does it have to be on water?

Seen just now on YouTube:

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my grandfather did, in his sleep, not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

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