78 Funny unexpected quotes

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  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I didn’t expect to have such strong feelings when the subtitles said “smooching” while the actors were kissing.

  Commentary:
  "When the subtitles whisper 'smooching,' but your heart screams 'whoa, get a room!' 🤭💋🎬"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I went downstairs to get my charger. I came back up with a bowl of ice cream and no charger.

  Commentary:
  "Priorities: Ice cream 1, Charger 0! 🍦🔌😅"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: In a turn of unexpected events, I need to learn karate by tomorrow morning.

  Commentary:
  "Better start with a crash course in self-defense via YouTube! 🥋🤣📚"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: I can’t explain how it works, but one day, you just wake up and like sauerkraut.

  Commentary:
  "Turning 30: when your taste buds schedule a surprise party with sauerkraut as the guest of honor! 🥳🥬😂"

• 

  2 weeks ago

  Share →: Imagine hearing the ice cream truck music, but at night.

  Commentary:
  "That's when you know even the ice cream has a curfew! 🍦⏰😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I hate it when I’m outside, and an insect lands and crawls on my glasses, and for a split second, I think aliens have invaded.

  …

  Commentary:
  "Forget extraterrestrial life — I'm just over here swatting at imaginary UFOs! 👽🦟😂"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: I don’t have a five-year plan because every two years I realize I need a different life.

  Commentary:
  "Five-year plan? I'm more of a 'five-minute snack break' kind of planner! 📝😂🍕"

• 

  4 weeks ago

  Share →: We’re putting that movie you love back in theaters on one random Wednesday — and we’re not gonna tell you until Tuesday.

  Commentary:
  🎬 Surprise Movie Night: Because who doesn't love an impromptu midweek movie mystery challenge? 🕵️‍♂️🍿

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: There is a giant spider on my dash so I’m going to have to buy a new car now.

  Commentary:
  "Time to upgrade from 4 wheels to 8 legs! 🕷️🚗💸"

• 

  1 month ago

  Share →: I wasn’t sure why the doctor prescribed LSD for my constipation, until I saw a dragon and shit myself.

  Commentary:
  "Well, that's one way to make a mythical mess! 🐉💩😂"

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