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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇯 has bookmarked:

Remember before social media you would have to pick up the phone and call someone to tell them how much you love bacon?

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

I bet the kids in Mrs. Doubtfire were surprised when found out their nanny was famous actor Robin Williams the whole time.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has downloaded:

Speed dating, but it’s just me changing tables at a restaurant every few minutes trying a bite of everyone’s food.

Someone from 🇲🇰 has downloaded:

I’m sorry that I’m canceling plans. I made them last week when I assumed that, by now, I’d be a different person.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has bookmarked:

The man who invented autocorrect walks into a barn. He orders a bear.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

When the doorbell rings, I always go to the door with my jacket on. Depending on who it is, I either just want to leave or have just come home.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

I hate it when I’m cleaning the house and suddenly find a bowl of ice cream in my lap and my soap opera on.

Someone from 🇪🇷 has downloaded:

Being in college when The Chainsmokers dropped Closer was an experience to say the least.

Someone from 🇳🇴 has viewed:

Why steal office supplies from work when you could take an extra-long bathroom break and steal company time instead?

Someone from 🇵🇭 has copied:

I’m not saying I’ve aged like fine wine, but I am currently being stored in a dark place and avoiding sunlight at all costs.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

36 minutes ago

3,452

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Slack:

I’m never drinking again, unless something is going on later today.

Broadcasted on Instagram:

My teen would like you to know I ruined her life when I did her laundry today.

Going viral on Facebook:

My daily routine. Morning: Feeling tired, cranky and lazy. Afternoon: I could go for a nap. Night: I can’t sleep.

Seen just now on Slack:

As a sales clerk, you want to shout after some people as they leave the store: “Are you sure you’ve really REALLY touched everything?”

Spotted on Threads:

Ironically jogging pants are mostly worn by the laziest people.

Trending via Snapchat:

You can never lose a homing pigeon. If your homing pigeon doesn’t come back, what you lost was a normal pigeon.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

“I’m sure it’ll turn up” – Translation: I’m bored of helping you look.

Spotted on Messenger:

I’m off to club bed, featuring DJ Pillow and MC Blanky.

Freshly posted on X:

Breaking news: Suicidal twin kills sister by mistake.

Shared recently on Discord:

Girls love a gay best friend until he turns 35 and asks to borrow your womb.

Home » Funny Universe Quotes

32 Funny universe quotes

Funny universe quotes offer a cosmic dose of humor about the vast expanse we call home! 🌌😂 From witty observations on space phenomena to humorous takes on the mysteries of the cosmos, these quotes make exploring the universe a lot more entertaining. Enjoy a laugh while contemplating the grand scale of everything around us! 😄✨

New funny universe quotes 👇

1 week ago
Share →: Maybe somewhere in a parallel universe, I wake up feeling refreshed and energetic each day.

Commentary:
In that universe, I bet caffeine is the one that needs me to wake up! ☕️😂✨
1 week ago
Share →: Plot twist: the universe is waiting for you to give it a sign.

Commentary:
Guess I've been sending it mixed signals with my WiFi password! 🌌🤔📶
1 week ago
Share →: Maybe in another universe, I punched him in the face instead of staying quiet.

Commentary:
In an alternate universe, I've got a mean right hook and a lot fewer apologies to make! 🥊😆
1 week ago
Share →: I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Commentary:
Trying to convince the other me's that pineapple on pizza isn't a crime 🍍🍕👀
2 weeks ago
Share →: I find it sad that my universal remote does not control the universe. Not even remotely.

Commentary:
And here I was hoping to fast-forward through Mondays! 📺🪐 #UniversalDisappointment
2 weeks ago
Share →: I wonder what the other me’s are up to in other dimensions.

Commentary:
Hopefully, they're all winning the lottery and taking naps! 🤑😴✨
3 weeks ago
Share →: It’s wild that you can just do anything. Date the wrong person, choose the wrong career. You can go outside and start eating dirt if you want, and the universe lets you. Not even a pop-up like “Are you sure?“

Commentary:
Eating dirt: the original "organic" diet. 🌿🤔💁‍♂️
4 weeks ago
Share →: Hey dude, I recently became omniscient, and well, you fell off in every universe.

Commentary:
"Seems like you're universally consistent 😂💫 #FallenStarStatus"
1 month ago
Share →: In a parallel universe, there’s a happy me.

Commentary:
"Meanwhile, in this universe, I'm just mastering the art of sarcasm! 😂🚀 #ParallelProblems"
2 months ago
Share →: Whatever you ask the Universe for under this post, you will get next week.

Commentary:
"Dear Universe, I'd like a lifetime supply of pizza, a unicorn, and maybe just one day where my WiFi doesn’t decide to take a vacation 🤞🍕🦄📡"

For even more funny universe quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny universe quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

2414 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

12,576

Funny Quotes Topics

15,246

Funny Quotes Images

12,576

36 minutes ago

3,466

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇳 has viewed:

When Hulk wrecks shit he’s “incredible.” When I do it I’m “causing a scene” and “need to leave this place immediately.”

Someone from 🇮🇷 has copied:

The quickest way to get your kid to do their homework is to ask them to help with some chores.

Someone from 🇬🇳 has bookmarked:

It’s not magic, but I bet you are reading this post with one leg on top of the other.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has viewed:

Airlines when they need to change your flight: here’s a complimentary napkin. Airlines when you need to change your flight: that’ll be $8700.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has downloaded:

By the time someone says, ‘To make a long story short,’ it’s too late.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If we get invaded by space aliens, I am immediately defecting to the alien side. Sorry.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has shared:

My body snaps, crackles, and pops louder than my cereal.

Someone from 🇧🇮 has bookmarked:

People would be more motivated to lose weight if the weight they lost went on to someone they didn’t like.

Someone from 🇬🇲 has copied:

It’s getting very expensive to be alive.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has shared:

This quote is invisible. Only people who masturbate a lot can read it.

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.

Seen just now on Threads:

If you only watched reality TV dating shows, you would probably estimate the number of people who work in medical device sales in the United States to be approximately 80,000,000.

Seen just now on X:

Please don’t use fear to manipulate me. Much more effective to use cake.

Breaking via Reddit:

Life is too short, and death is too long.

Going viral on TikTok:

There’s protein in foods that have never been protein before.

Just landed via WhatsApp:

Cleaned the bathroom window. Wasn’t frosted glass at all.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

Alexa, take responsibility for my actions.

Going viral on Reddit:

When is this robot army coming to take my job?

Shared recently on YouTube:

Why do you assume it’s invalid to “make stuff up” during an argument? It shows initiative and creativity.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Taking action is my least favorite thing to take.

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