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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇴 has bookmarked:

You do not have to prove your own humanity to others. Unless it’s a captcha.

Someone from 🇪🇬 has shared:

“Mom, how did we get so rich?” your father said, “Thanks, nothing from my end,” on thousands of important Zoom meetings.

Someone from 🇵🇭 has bookmarked:

When you have intense chemistry with someone, everyone else feels so bleh.

Someone from 🇪🇸 has downloaded:

Welcome to adulthood: your chin looks lonely, here’s another one.

Someone from 🇳🇮 has viewed:

Can I do better? Yes. Will I do better? Probably not.

Someone from 🇲🇺 has viewed:

That’s me in the corner, that’s me in the spotlight, spreading goat cheese on a bagel.

Someone from 🇲🇩 has shared:

Sorry boys, but I’ve already got my eyes on a guy who’s not interested.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has downloaded:

Why is everyone against sugar? Who stood beside you when things went wrong and you were sad? It wasn’t lettuce, for sure.

Someone from 🇬🇭 has bookmarked:

I wish tree puns were more poplar.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

Put my too-weak notice in at the gym.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,455

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Pinterest:

99% of celebrating your birthday as an adult just consists of texting back “thanks so much”.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Due to personal reasons, I will be screaming into a pillow.

Going viral on Twitch:

Mail is crazy because it’s like 99 pieces of straight up garbage and 1 that if you don’t reply to you’re going to jail.

Trending via Telegram:

Sleep hits different when you’re not supposed to be sleeping.

Live now on Facebook:

I only attract psychopaths. If you’ve ever had a crush on me, find a therapist.

Trending via Slack:

I want a restraining order on everyone who doesn’t wear deodorant.

Going viral on Facebook:

Are you ever in the mood to get hit by a car and spend like one month in the hospital?

Live now on Telegram:

I often choose gift bags instead of wrapping, not just out of laziness, but also because I have the fine motor skills of a drunken panda.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Body by sandwich.

Spotted on Reddit:

The only way to my heart is with a knife.

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Funny Vulcan quotes

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

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Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

1832 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

11,994

Funny Quotes Topics

14,796

Funny Quotes Images

11,994

Updated

2 minutes ago

Users Online

3,446

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇱 has viewed:

When I was a kid I would say I’m whatever age and a half because I wanted to be older. Now I say I turned 40 a few years ago.

Someone from 🇬🇼 has copied:

You can’t get a good night’s sleep anymore because of woke.

Someone from 🇰🇲 has downloaded:

I’m really good at compromising as long as I get my way.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has viewed:

I think God was high when he made me.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Spiders are the only web developers who love finding bugs.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has shared:

Automated phone system: To speak to a representative, please enter the first twelve digits of pi.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has viewed:

There’s a disconnect between the decibel level of my car singing and my talent.

Someone from 🇹🇼 has shared:

I wish religion made people nicer to each other.

Someone from 🇱🇰 has copied:

Oh good. Another day.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has viewed:

Picking up a hitchhiker is not worth the risk of being forced to make small talk with a stranger.

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via WhatsApp:

For a girl that loves sleep and hates stress, my career choice is questionable.

Spotted on Messenger:

People don’t have demonically glowing red eyes in photographs like they used to.

Spotted on WeChat:

My New Year’s resolution will be to stop chasing waterfalls, and stick to the rivers and the lakes that I’m used to.

Seen just now on WhatsApp:

People always tell me I’d be “late to my own funeral” like it’s a bad thing. They’d be lucky if I even showed up to that depressing shit.

Trending via LinkedIn:

According to autocorrect, my favorite Star Wars character is Bob’s Feet.

Just landed via TikTok:

I can’t believe I forgot to go to the gym today. That’s like 7 years in a row now.

Reported on Telegram:

What part of “hiii” do you not get? I’m in love with you.

Trending via Snapchat:

Scrolling… good take… bad take… nothing take… cyberbullying… beautiful woman.

Reported on TikTok:

I hate dealing with fresh garlic. Each individual clove with their little f***ing paperwork.

Reported on Facebook:

Yeah, sex is great, but have you ever checked your bank account and had way more money than you expected.

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