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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇮🇩 has copied:

Just blocked someone for correcting my spelling and it feelded great.

Someone from 🇦🇸 has downloaded:

Never go to bed angry. Stay up and finish the argument like an adult.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Blackout curtains because I’ll decide what time it is.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has downloaded:

I’d change my name to laundry if it meant you’d think about doing me every day.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

Balloons are so weird. “Happy birthday, here’s a plastic sack of my breath.”

Someone from 🇸🇩 has downloaded:

Fitbits are just Tamagotchis, except the stupid animal you’re trying to keep alive is you.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has copied:

Be the horrifying lore of your family’s lineage.

Someone from 🇲🇬 has copied:

“Delusional” ain’t a strong enough word to describe people anymore.

Someone from 🇺🇾 has copied:

I wish my doctor would put down a little treat to distract me like my vet does for my dog.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

There is always enough for the needy, there is never enough for the greedy.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,430

Social Media Log 💫

Just shared via Slack:

I have almost 100,000 miles on my office chair. So I got that going for me.

Seen just now on Discord:

One day you’re young and carefree and the next you sneeze too hard and hurt your neck.

Just landed via Instagram:

The real threat to Democracy is the Bureaucracy.

Making waves on Discord:

I have my own hand stamper at home so my coworkers will think I went someplace fun the night before.

Just shared via Snapchat:

Why would I go to my high school reunion? I didn’t want to be there the first time.

Just landed via Snapchat:

Hey, you should start your own business and then mind it.

Making waves on LinkedIn:

Haggis – the meal you have to stomach twice.

Freshly posted on TikTok:

Polar lights: when the sky forgets it’s supposed to be boring.

Just landed via Snapchat:

The role I play at family gatherings is that of the cousin that doesn’t show up anymore.

Just landed via X:

If you breakdance you buy dance.

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

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Trending Topics 📁

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Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

817 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,979

Funny Quotes Topics

13,919

Funny Quotes Images

10,979

Updated

31 minutes ago

Users Online

3,420

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇼🇸 has downloaded:

I’m not ready to adopt a highway, I can barely raise my own driveway.

Someone from 🇸🇮 has viewed:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇬🇪 has downloaded:

I’m so single. When they ask me for an emergency contact, I put the neighbor’s dog.

Someone from 🇷🇴 has downloaded:

I’m as single as a one Dollar bill, and I don’t need any change.

Someone from 🇰🇷 has viewed:

Did it hurt, when my ice cream outlasted yours?

Someone from 🇩🇴 has copied:

“I don’t do politics.” Politics will do you, my brother and sister. Politics will do you like mad.

Someone from 🇳🇿 has downloaded:

I’m doing well at accomplishing nothing today and I’m very proud of myself.

Someone from 🇩🇰 has shared:

I always like to remember the time before the internet. It was so good not to know how cruel and stupid humanity really is.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has bookmarked:

Money enters like Beyoncé and exits like Britney.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has bookmarked:

My taste in music ranges from “You’ve gotta listen to this” to “I know, please don’t judge me.”

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on Threads:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Live now on Messenger:

Ghost stories sound way scarier with an English accent.

Going viral on Messenger:

Nobody has ever been more surprised than a husband hearing about his wife’s plans for the second time.

Seen just now on Twitch:

Siblings are proof you can love someone and also dislike them at the same time.

Shared recently on Slack:

If I’m giving you attention, feel blessed. My real passion is ignoring people.

Shared recently on Pinterest:

Kinda rude when I spend money, and it actually leaves my bank account. But okay.

Broadcasted on LinkedIn:

I don’t know who needs to hear this, but you don’t need anything from Amazon today.

Spreading quickly via Facebook:

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

Live now on Instagram:

My bad for thinking everyone has common sense.

Shared recently on Reddit:

It’s not that I want more shoes, it’s just that they keep making them in my size.

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