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105 Funny wish quotes

I wish people would stop holding back and use social media to tell us how they really feel.

3 months ago

Just once I’d like my dog to give me a treat.

3 months ago

I hope this email finds you in the paradise city where the grass is green and the girls are pretty.

3 months ago

I wish I could put an AirTag on my sanity.

3 months ago

I just wish I had the confidence of my husband who thinks everything only takes 5 minutes.

3 months ago

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

3 months ago

Just once I wanna slide down a dinosaur at the end of my workday, is that too much to ask for?

3 months ago

Sometimes I wish I understood what some of you said and sometimes I am happy that I don’t.

3 months ago

At the self-checkout, I make small talk with myself and I wish I would just shut up.

3 months ago

What’s really missing is a day between Saturday and Sunday.

3 months ago

I get it dogs, I wish I could also bark at strangers approaching my house.

3 months ago

Good morning to everyone except myself cause I wish I was still asleep.

3 months ago

I don’t want kids, but I do want grandkids. Hoping science finds a way.

3 months ago

Dear God, make me a bird so I can fly. Fly far, far away and also so I can poop on people.

3 months ago

I wish I was mysterious, but unfortunately I just can’t keep my mouth shut.

3 months ago

At my age, you check a friend’s Facebook page to make sure they’re still alive before wishing them a happy birthday.

3 months ago

They should invent a Sunday that’s longer than a couple of minutes.

3 months ago

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

3 months ago

Be the elephant you wish to see in the room.

3 months ago

I wish I loved anything as much as people love to say they are “thrilled” on LinkedIn.

3 months ago

I wish I could just drop my body off at the gym and pick it up later.

3 months ago

Painted a big H in my garden to see if I can trap a helicopter. Wish me luck!

3 months ago

I wish I was as tired in bed at night as I am after lunch at work.

3 months ago

I wish we were cats so you could just randomly slap co-workers for no reason.

3 months ago

This year I’d like an advent calendar with 24 different tranquilizers.

3 months ago

I wish my wife’s sighs came with subtitles.

3 months ago

When you wish you could tell someone that won’t stop talking “Okay, we’re out of time today”, just like a therapist.

3 months ago

I hope I don’t die of something stupid like old age, I want a piano to fall on my head.

3 months ago

If I ever get the death penalty, I hope “by chocolate” is an option.

3 months ago

I wish I had the confidence of someone who would let themselves be tattooed in a place they can’t see.

3 months ago