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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇷 has copied:

Tupperware is a fun way to store your leftovers until you throw them away.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has viewed:

Handyman to customer: If I had wanted you to watch me work, I would have become an actor.

Someone from 🇮🇹 has downloaded:

“It’s been a long week!” Me, on a Tuesday.

Someone from 🇫🇲 has copied:

My sister: snowboards. My brother: skateboards. Me: charcuterie boards.

Someone from 🇿🇦 has copied:

With a cat on your lap, you deal better with the crap.

Someone from 🇳🇱 has downloaded:

Through repetition and sheer will I’ve mastered gracefully falling on my head.

Someone from 🇮🇩 has viewed:

I was neglecting my root chakra at the time, your honor.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has downloaded:

If you don’t have at least one white friend named “Matt”, then you are Matt.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

My toxic trait is consistently cutting off the resealable part of the bag of frozen vegetables.

Someone from 🇨🇩 has viewed:

You ask for a Swedish massage and then get mad when I roll meatballs on your back.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

43 minutes ago

3,421

Social Media Log 💫

Shared recently on X:

I feel like people just come to the airport to cough.

Just shared via Pinterest:

Hit the vape till it tastes like technology.

Freshly posted on Slack:

We’re all naughty, some just more than others.

Trending via WeChat:

I like to play this fun game while I clean out the fridge called what is this, how long has it been in here and how do I kill it?

Shared recently on TikTok:

You can just make up words and if you say them in a Scottish accent, people will think they’re real: Looka the wee janglers on that tary bibbit.

Shared recently on X:

My plans for today? Same as always: drink coffee and be sexy.

Just shared via LinkedIn:

Thank you for the opportunity but I don’t think being human is a good fit for me. I’m going to go back to school to become an octopus.

Just landed via WeChat:

We’re living in increasingly unfergalicious times.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Glasses don’t make you look smart, everyone knows you had to fail a test to get them.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I am calling on public libraries to ban the books that I borrowed and lost. We don’t need that kind of crap in the libraries.

Home » Funny Wish Quotes » Page 3

134 Funny wish quotes

More funny wish quotes 👇

2 months ago
Share →: Be the nonsense you wish to see in the world.

Commentary:
"Bringing my A-game today: Absurdity level 💯! 🤪✨ #LivingTheNonsenseLife"
2 months ago
Share →: I wish I could have a kid just to see what it looks like… and then put it back.

Commentary:
"Modern parenting: test-driving kids like they're on a 30-day return policy 😂👶🔄"
2 months ago
Share →: I wish there were an option to turn off the Wi-Fi connection for WhatsApp only.

Commentary:
"BRB, negotiating with my Wi-Fi to ghost WhatsApp like it's my ex. 📵🙈😂"
2 months ago
Share →: They should invent a weekend that goes by slowly.

Commentary:
"💡 Let's call it… 'SlowMo Saturday'! Where alarm clocks take a day off too. 😂📆"
2 months ago
Share →: I wish I could turn everyone I love into a trinket, so I can keep them forever, because I am greedy and selfish.

Commentary:
"Someone's ready to launch their 'Trinket Holding Co.' 🎁💕 Just remember: labels are EVERYTHING. 📛😂"
2 months ago
Share →: They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Commentary:
"When I upgrade to that version of life, I'll read the instructions! 📚🤔😂"
2 months ago
Share →: It’s like my wish isn’t even your command anymore…

Commentary:
"When did I lose my genie privileges? 😂🧞‍♂️✨"
3 months ago
Share →: Next month is May. May all the money come to me.

Commentary:
Looks like May is about to become the month of money magic! 💸✨ Here's hoping your wallet gets its own bouquet of cash flowers. 🌸💰 May the financial good vibes flow your way! 😄🙌
3 months ago
Share →: I wish berries were the size of apples. Just imagine for a second.

Commentary:
Oh, the berry-sized possibilities! 🍓🍏 Can you picture grabbing a giant blueberry or a massive strawberry? Snack attacks would never be the same—talk about nature’s own fruit basket! 😂🍇🍎 Just be careful, or you might find yourself in a fruit-fueled "peckish" dilemma! 😅🌱
3 months ago
Share →: I wish my Fitbit could track all the steps I’ve taken trying to find where I put it.

Commentary:
Oh, the irony of trying to track down the device that's supposed to track your steps! 🕵️‍♂️🚶‍♂️ It's like a game of hide-and-seek with your Fitbit. Maybe it's trying to get some extra steps in without you knowing! 😉 #FitbitMystery

For even more funny wish quotes, check out the next page, if available 👇

All funny wish quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

831 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,993

Funny Quotes Topics

13,936

Funny Quotes Images

10,993

43 minutes ago

3,441

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇦🇸 has bookmarked:

The existence of raw sexuality implies the existence of medium sexuality, but also well-done sexuality.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has shared:

I don’t understand, but I also don’t care, so it works out.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has copied:

The children seemed disappointed when I told them the best part about being an adult is going to bed early.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has bookmarked:

I like to take long walks away from stupid people.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

I need to know the brand of toothbrush my neighbor has. I hear it buzzing sometimes an hour at a time and she’s clearly enjoying it.

Someone from 🇨🇲 has viewed:

“Winter is literally the best season.” Okay, husky, go sit outside then.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has copied:

Don’t worry, guys. Together we can eliminate logic and reason on social media. I see some of you are already ahead of the game. Way to go!

Someone from 🇺🇸 has copied:

I’m sorry for the things I said when I was running late due to circumstances completely within my control.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has viewed:

The older I get, the more I treat birthdays like one-night stands and just pretend they didn’t happen.

Someone from 🇧🇧 has downloaded:

“I made this with AI.” Yeah, we can tell.

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on TikTok:

A beaver is an otter that has studied architecture.

Seen just now on X:

Roses are red. Bumble bees buzz. This rhyme doesn’t rhyme. No, wait, yes it does.

Seen just now on LinkedIn:

Start every meeting with, “Let’s just agree to disagree.”

Spotted on Messenger:

To whoever has my voodoo doll, please stop making her go to work.

Freshly posted on Reddit:

I used to be sad about the climate apocalypse, but I went on a few dates and, honestly, I’m ready now.

Freshly posted on Telegram:

You aren’t from the Midwest unless you can spin out in the snow, regain control and keep driving like nothing happened.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

When someone points at your black clothes and asks whose funeral it is, having a look around the room and saying ‘Haven’t decided yet’ is typically a good response.

Freshly posted on Slack:

I finally got 8 hours of sleep. Took me four days, but whatever.

Broadcasted on Slack:

This meeting could have been a push down the stairs.

Reported on TikTok:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

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