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If flies could speak English, I'd finally have someone new to ignore my ultimatums 😂🪰💬
Tag Archives: 198 Funny wish quotes
The sweet spot is just enough pain to know you’re alive, but not quite enough to wish you were dead.
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Finding that perfect level of chaos in life where it's 'ouch' instead of 'ouchouchouchOMG!' 😅🔨
What I want for dinner hasn’t been invented yet.
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Still waiting on that five-course meal in a pill form, Chef Future! 🍽️😂🚀
I wish people knew how good I can sing when I’m alone in my car and in my shower.
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Sounds like you hit all the high notes when no one's around! 🚗🚿🎤
I wish pets lived longer, and life wasn’t so expensive, and cake didn’t make you fat, and people weren’t twats.
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"100% agree! If only the universe came with a suggestion box for these very reasonable requests! 🐾💸🍰🤦♂️"
Wish I could step out of my body and take my own damn pictures.
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Sounds like a selfie with extra steps! 📸😂
Just once, I’d love to underthink a situation.
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Finally, a workout plan for my brain 😂🤷♂️ #UnderthinkerInTraining
Wish I could get paid just for being a sweetheart.
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If being a sweetheart paid the bills, I'd be lounging in a heart-shaped mansion by now! 💖💸
I wanna be a jellyfish— no heart, no brain, no feelings, no pain— just blub blub blub.
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Living the dream, just floating through life on my blub blub budget! 🪼😜
Do you ever wish you could just walk away mid-conversation when you’re bored?
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That's literally my spirit animal: the disappearing ninja of awkward chats! 🥷😅💨