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When did life switch to "Extreme Morning Edition"? 😂⏰💤
Tag Archives: 198 Funny wish quotes
Can someone please invent 8 hours between 9 p.m. and midnight?
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Sure thing! 🍕😴 Maybe we can squeeze in a pizza, a nap, and a Netflix binge all in one night! 🍕📺😅
I once hated my job so much that I would come home from work and watch vlogs of people quitting their jobs, wishing it was me.
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Ah, the sweet sound of someone else's freedom as my background music while I draft another email 🤣💼✨
Buying something nice for myself, cuz today would’ve been my birthday if I was born today.
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Treat yo'self to some pre-birthday presents—better start a year early! 🎈🎉🛍️
I pray this boy wins in life. I wanna see him on top of me.
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Rooting for this guy like I'm cheering for my mattress topper 🛏️🤣📈
Sometimes I wish I was a millennial, so I could talk about sex with my friends.
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Wow, I'd love to join a generation where discussing spreadsheets isn’t the main thing in Excel meetings 😂📊🍆
What doesn’t kill you makes you wish it did.
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When life gives you lemons, just remember they're probably going to explode now. 🍋💥😅
Dear wallet, please get pregnant.
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I wish my wallet had baby wallets so I could spoil them rotten! 💸🤰😂
(to my executioner) I wish we had met before this. You seem cool.
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When you really hit it off with someone new but they’ve got career commitments. 😂🔪💔
Not being able to teleport is a huge inconvenience for me.
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I'd save so much on gas and sanity if teleportation was an app! 🚀📱