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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇳🇿 has viewed:

Sorry, I had to cancel plans. The prophecy said so.

Someone from 🇹🇿 has copied:

They should invent a life where I know what I’m doing.

Someone from 🇨🇺 has shared:

Does running actually get easier if you do it a lot, or is it that you just get more masochistic?

Someone from 🇨🇾 has viewed:

The dopamine hit of getting an Outlook meeting cancellation is unrivaled.

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I don’t weigh myself because most scales don’t know how heavy all the grudges I’m holding onto are.

Someone from 🇱🇸 has copied:

The plant app says that I either watered my plant too much or not enough. Very helpful. Thanks!

Someone from 🇿🇲 has downloaded:

Haircuts should be covered by insurance.

Someone from 🇵🇬 has downloaded:

I just finally discovered what’s wrong with my brain: on the left side there is nothing right and on the right side, there is nothing left.

Someone from 🇪🇹 has bookmarked:

(Talking to myself) I just don’t know what to tell you.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

If I ever had to fight a bear, I hope it’s a gummy bear.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

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Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,675

Social Media Log 💫

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Another day waiting, and wishing, and wanting.

Spotted on LinkedIn:

Don’t worry, bro. She’s probably just working on a puzzle right now. She’ll get back to you.

Freshly posted on Facebook:

Inflation is actually a good thing, it means money is going viral.

Shared recently on Threads:

Drinking 3L of water daily helps you avoid other people’s drama because you’re too busy peeing. Stay hydrated.

Making waves on WeChat:

The best way to enjoy your tea while the world is falling apart around you is to remember that the world has always been falling apart around you.

Shared recently on LinkedIn:

Guy who thinks “generational trauma” means it’s like the goat of trauma.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Dear unsuccessful applicant, we ultimately decided to split the role between existing staff without paying any of them extra.

Spreading quickly via Pinterest:

Nose so runny it just signed me up for a 10k.

Shared recently on Slack:

I’m a big fan of that post-laundry feeling when you’ve got all your A-list clothes back in the game.

Making waves on Twitch:

I haven’t posted a selfie in a while, but I’m still very cute. Just to keep you updated.

Funny work in progress quotes

New funny work in progress quotes 👇

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

1 month ago

growth, humor, motivation, much, personal, personal growth, progress, self-deprecating, work, work in progress

All funny work in progress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Random Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

77 shares on WhatsApp this month:

The potholes in my city will change your radio station and unlock the doors.

67 shares on Facebook this month:

Dr. Pepper just unseated Pepsi as the second most popular soda in America. Don’t tell me that getting your PhD isn’t worth it.

12 shares on Reddit this month:

The most attractive thing a man can do is hitting his own head and repeating “stupid, stupid, stupid”.

87 shares on X this month:

If you think my heart is cold, you should feel my feet.

15 shares on Pinterest this month:

The Bible is 100% accurate. Especially when thrown at close range.

51 shares on Reddit this month:

I need to drink less water. This peeing situation is out of control.

10 shares on Messenger this month:

I can’t keep up anymore. Happy birthday to everyone for the rest of your life.

36 shares on Pinterest this month:

Imagine working at Pornhub. At like the corporate office as a developer or whatever. White collar. That’s gotta be a weird job. Working there has gotta be bloody weird.

58 shares on Facebook this month:

No more relationships for me, the last one was an embarrassment to my gangsta.

75 shares on Telegram this month:

Remember those days when you missed school and you’d check the time and think, “They’re eating right now.”

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇰🇳 has copied:

I successfully avoided the red-eye flight and got the much milder pink eye flight.

Someone from 🇳🇵 has downloaded:

I hope “be the light you want to see in the world” doesn’t refer to Molotov Cocktails.

Someone from 🇿🇲 has shared:

If you ever think English is not a weird language just remember that read and lead rhyme and read and lead rhyme. But read and lead don’t rhyme, and neither do read and lead.

Someone from 🇨🇱 has downloaded:

“Bluetooth or Insane?” is a fun game we all play when we see a lone person speaking out loud in public.

Someone from 🇮🇶 has bookmarked:

Parents saying “I know my child” will forever be the funniest joke.

Someone from 🇲🇿 has bookmarked:

I wear black because it’s slimming. Exercise is also slimming, but like I said, I wear black.

Someone from 🇾🇪 has copied:

They did so well traumatizing us about teen pregnancy, I’m still traumatized as an adult.

Someone from 🇲🇭 has bookmarked:

If Spotify has taught me anything, it’s that I don’t know the correct lyrics to any of my favorite songs.

Someone from 🇦🇫 has viewed:

Donuts are beautiful creatures, and they deserve their own week on the nature channels.

Someone from 🇻🇨 has downloaded:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Social Media Log 💫

Making waves on Instagram:

Applied for an internship to gain experience and got rejected because I didn’t have relevant experience.

Just landed via Threads:

Almost all of my bad decisions are food-related.

Seen just now on Threads:

This flight is so long, I don’t know where I’m going anymore. I just live here now. Even the crying baby gave up.

Trending via Discord:

I stopped experimenting in bed after the great honey disaster of 2015.

Breaking via X:

I may not have lost all my marbles yet, but there’s a small hole in the bag somewhere.

Trending via WeChat:

My hobbies include sleeping and feeling like I’ve never slept.

Going viral on TikTok:

The 69 obsession turning into 67 is a recession indicator.

Spotted on TikTok:

I don’t know when people started calling hot dogs ‘glizzys,’ but I hate it, and you all need to stop immediately.

Going viral on WeChat:

Girlfriend says because we got Chinese yesterday, we can’t get it again today. I don’t think that makes sense. They do it in China all the time.

Just shared via Instagram:

It’s beginning to cost a lot like Christmas.

Wordgag ツ

Activity Log ✨

Funny work in progress quotes

New funny work in progress quotes 👇

I’m a work in progress that hasn’t made much progress.

All funny work in progress quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Social Media Stars ⭐

Trending Topics 📁

Activity Log ✨