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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇲🇪 has bookmarked:

Girls are perverts when they like you.

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

My favorite thing about summer is opening a window for 30 seconds so an insect that hasn’t been identified by science yet can fly into your home.

Someone from 🇧🇿 has bookmarked:

Reading is a gateway drug to being less stupid.

Someone from 🇱🇨 has copied:

Anyone know if we got the meek inheriting the Earth today?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has bookmarked:

Pomegranates are worth the mess.

Someone from 🇱🇹 has viewed:

If the apple really doesn’t fall far from the tree, my kids are screwed.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has shared:

Quitting my job to focus on staying inside.

Someone from 🇧🇾 has downloaded:

Handsome, you better get to the point, my beer buzz is starting to wear off.

Someone from 🇩🇿 has bookmarked:

The trick is to be born in the right place and at the right time. If you mess that up, it gets tedious.

Someone from 🇬🇩 has copied:

I already want to come home from work tomorrow.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,272

Social Media Log 💫

Live now on Messenger:

People think I forgot the shit they said. Ain’t no expiration date on disrespect.

Seen just now on WeChat:

She took all my money, called me fat, AND stabbed me in the arm. I hate doctor appointments.

Seen just now on Messenger:

I have 206 bones, 650 muscles and 50 billion cells in my body. It takes time to wake up all of them up in the morning.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Some of you are still single because, when someone sends you romantic words, you reply with “hahaha.”

Going viral on LinkedIn:

People really be like, “I would never do that to you,” and then do it with a remix.

Freshly posted on Discord:

There’s something fundamentally wrong with the way people interact with each other on LinkedIn.

Going viral on TikTok:

Avocado is just green butter.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

You either get a kid who eats like a bottomless pit, or you get one that when asked what they want for lunch answers “No thanks, I had lunch yesterday.”

Spotted on Reddit:

I hope my email finds you enraged.

Going bananas on Instagram:

Please no requests for a threesome. If I want to disappoint two people at the same time, I’ll visit my parents.

Funny worst day quotes

Funny worst day quotes bring a hilarious twist to those 😩 days when nothing seems to go right! Whether you spilled coffee ☕️, missed the bus 🚌, or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed 🛏️, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter 😂. Embrace the chaos and find joy in the mess with a little humor to brighten even the gloomiest moments! 🌈✨

New funny worst day quotes 👇

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

2 weeks ago

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

2 weeks ago

chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day
Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

2 weeks ago

being, birthday, day, disappointment, ever, every, excited, excitement, expectation, girl, girls, hell, personal, personal hell, too, worst, worst day

All funny worst day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

50 shares on Threads this month:

Some folks go to college to delay being a bum.

73 shares on Reddit this month:

Juggling screen time is the ultimate multitasking Olympics.

28 shares on Twitch this month:

Life would be so much simpler if you could just smack the stupid out of people instead having to reason with them.

59 shares on Pinterest this month:

You look like the type of person that would fart in bed and Dutch Oven yourself.

29 shares on LinkedIn this month:

I’m not procrastinating. I’m protecting my peace through active avoidance.

75 shares on Messenger this month:

Not commenting on your girl’s stuff is weird. I want my man barking in my comments.

21 shares on Slack this month:

When I was in elementary school, we learned about a shape called a rhombus, and that was the last time I ever heard about that shape ever again.

45 shares on WeChat this month:

The only thing longer than the opening ceremony of the Olympics is the opening ceremony of my eyes in the morning.

80 shares on WhatsApp this month:

I try not to laugh at my own jokes, but we all know I’m hilarious.

100 shares on WhatsApp this month:

Vote for me, I’ll cut the alphabet in half.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I wish I could throw tomatoes at comments.

22 folks are currently checking 👀

If you shouldn’t go food shopping when you’re hungry, then you should definitely not go clothes shopping when you’re naked. Trust me on this.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why do guys named Timothy go by Tim when they could go by Moth?

12 folks are currently checking 👀

What do people do with all the extra time they save by writing ‘k’ instead of ‘ok’?

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Doesn’t matter if the chicken or the egg came first. Still a weird thing to just appear.

8 folks are currently checking 👀

“You never reply to messages.” I am just one person, okay? I am understaffed.

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Getting a key tattoo, but getting it covered up with a doormat tattoo, so no one ever finds it.

9 folks are currently checking 👀

You know that moment when you get up in the morning, you’re full of energy and you can’t wait to get to work? Me neither!

23 folks are currently checking 👀

Nowadays, people no longer look for a needle in a haystack, but for errors in a spreadsheet.

18 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m literally overstimulated with life. I need to scream on top of a mountain.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,347

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇷🇺 has viewed:

This post is invisible, and only heathens can see it.

Someone from 🇨🇾 has bookmarked:

Dear food, either stop being so delicious or stop making me fat.

Someone from 🇲🇽 has shared:

I know which nation I like best. Hibernation.

Someone from 🇰🇮 has shared:

You want to know how old you really feel? Stop drinking caffeine and popping Ibuprofen. Then, just wait.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has copied:

A gentleman opens doors and brings flowers. A man smacks your ass and pulls your hair. A soulmate does both.

Someone from 🇻🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has bookmarked:

Having a job ruined my life.

Someone from 🇻🇺 has shared:

You gotta be careful: don’t say a word to nobody about nothing anytime ever.

Someone from 🇵🇪 has viewed:

I need a vacation, but the kind where everyone else leaves, and I have my house to myself for a few days.

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

A sperm bank implies the existence of sperm markets, which further implies the existence of high-frequency sperm trading.

Social Media Log 💫

Going bananas on Messenger:

I always wonder who makes a more stupid face: women putting on make-up or men shaving?

Making waves on Messenger:

If the zombie apocalypse happens we’re double screwed because there are millions on record as having no brain.

Spotted on Slack:

Everyone you meet is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Make it worse by saying they look tired.

Spotted on TikTok:

Nature is fascinating. A dandelion makes it through concrete, while I get my head stuck in my sweater in the morning.

Trending via Telegram:

I get it, funds… I, too, am insufficient.

Just landed via WeChat:

If I go quiet, it’s because I am plotting my escape or your demise.

Just landed via Twitch:

It’s Sunday. I’ve slept in and ignored church. Somewhere the devil is sitting and clicking on “Like”.

Breaking via X:

I want to sit and read, take a nap, and snack. Basically, I want to be in kindergarten.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

All human behavior is performative, besides the crying of an infant.

Making waves on WhatsApp:

Girls are happier when their dress has pockets, it’s science.

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