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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇬🇷 has shared:

I didn’t know that Rome wasn’t built in a day. I wasn’t on that job.

Someone from 🇧🇩 has downloaded:

Go ahead and get some sleep, everyone. I’ll stay up and handle the overthinking.

Someone from 🇦🇴 has downloaded:

Lifting my wife’s wedding veil and finding out she’s Darth Maul.

Someone from 🇪🇨 has bookmarked:

“Beauty sleep” is bullshit. I sleep 14 hours a day and still look like trash.

Someone from 🇧🇹 has bookmarked:

Good morning to everyone except people that talk to the cashier about their entire day.

Someone from 🇺🇸 has bookmarked:

I tried meowing back at the cat to show him I was making an effort, but he just switched to English.

Someone from 🇹🇱 has copied:

Our childhood photos might be ugly but those smiles were definitely not fake.

Someone from 🇸🇳 has downloaded:

I don’t wanna brag, but I’ve been told I’m micro-management material.

Someone from 🇰🇬 has copied:

Instead of meeting any new people, I would much rather un-meet the ones I already know.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

The art of today’s art is to persuade people that it’s art.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Feb 3, 2026

3,379

Social Media Log 💫

Seen just now on Reddit:

The gym gives you energy, but you need energy to get to the gym. Feels like a pyramid scheme, if you ask me.

Just landed via Instagram:

Everyone knows that Christmas is the celebration of the immaculate conception of Mariah Carey.

Spotted on Facebook:

During childbirth, women are in so much pain that it is almost possible for them to feel what men have to endure when they have a cold.

Shared recently on WhatsApp:

Scratching the mosquito bite on my foot? Literally orgasmic. This is the kind of stuff that the government doesn’t want you to know.

Spotted on Discord:

Sorry for running at you on all fours, I was excited to see you.

Trending via Discord:

Sure, I’m uncomfortable, but only in situations.

Trending via WeChat:

Fake laughing with customers is actually a job skill.

Just shared via Twitch:

I may have bags under my eyes, but they’re Versace.

Seen just now on X:

Nothing is hungrier than a Roomba that sees a charger cord.

Trending via WhatsApp:

Me driving at night: I hope this is the road!

Funny worst day quotes

Funny worst day quotes bring a hilarious twist to those 😩 days when nothing seems to go right! Whether you spilled coffee ☕️, missed the bus 🚌, or just woke up on the wrong side of the bed 🛏️, these witty lines turn frustration into laughter 😂. Embrace the chaos and find joy in the mess with a little humor to brighten even the gloomiest moments! 🌈✨

New funny worst day quotes 👇

Monday holds the record for being the worst day of the week.

5 days ago

being, day, humor, Monday, record, week, worst, worst day
Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

6 days ago

chores, daily, daily life, day, dishwasher, family, humor, irony, just, life, teen, teenager, teens, told, worst, worst day
Every girl’s personal hell is being too excited about their birthday and it ends up being the worst day ever.

1 week ago

being, birthday, day, disappointment, ever, every, excited, excitement, expectation, girl, girls, hell, personal, personal hell, too, worst, worst day

All funny worst day quotes & images can be used for free for non-commercial purposes 👌

Funny Quotes Collections

✨ New Funny Quotes

Social Media Stars ⭐

86 shares on LinkedIn this month:

When you report something to IT and then hear: “Oh! Interesting. We’ve never seen that before.” Is that good or bad?

93 shares on LinkedIn this month:

A new year resolution is something that goes in one year and out the other.

48 shares on TikTok this month:

Gonna tell my dentist that if I’m late, he should start without me.

90 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Main difference between me and my jokes is that folks don’t laugh at my jokes.

86 shares on Threads this month:

I hope this email keeps you awake at night.

74 shares on Messenger this month:

I hope your spoon slides into your soup.

10 shares on Snapchat this month:

Running feels great until you compare it to not running.

55 shares on Pinterest this month:

I’m a “I have an appointment later, so I can’t do anything else for the rest of the day” kind of person.

22 shares on Twitch this month:

Can I come over and circle you like a vulture?

73 shares on Facebook this month:

That moment when you cut into a seedless watermelon and find out it’s only allegedly seedless.

Trending Topics 📁

Hot Jokes 💥

7 folks are currently checking 👀

Went to the gym two days in a row. This is a fitness account now.

25 folks are currently checking 👀

The collective noun for a group of reply guys is an audacity.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I plan the silliest murders in my dreams because all I have to do to get away with it is wake up.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

At the end of the day, it’s the friend that doesn’t take your ghosting phases personally.

16 folks are currently checking 👀

And then there are those dates after which you think: “Have I really shaved my legs for this?”

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Saw an article on “100 things to do before you die.” Was surprised Call 911 didn’t make the list.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

Why is smoking the only addiction jobs give you breaks to do? I should get 15 minutes every hour to cook up some parlays.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

The ideal girlfriend breaks your heart, so you go on to do great things.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not fragile like a flower. I’m fragile like a bomb.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Too many losers and not enough people telling them they’re losers.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

calculating…

Funny Quotes Total

15,753

Funny Quotes Topics

17,766

Funny Quotes Images

15,753

Updated

Feb 3, 2026

Users Online

3,552

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has copied:

Insomnia sharpens your math skills because you spend all night calculating how much sleep you’ll get if you’re able to ‘fall asleep right now.’

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

I want to live in a world where TV sitcoms have catchy theme songs again.

Someone from 🇸🇴 has copied:

I see why grandmas used to cook dinner at 3 p.m. and sit down the rest of the day.

Someone from 🇦🇿 has viewed:

Using Indeed feels like being an ugly guy on a dating app.

Someone from 🇮🇳 has downloaded:

You’re an adult if you’re happy every time the mailbox is empty.

Someone from 🇪🇪 has downloaded:

There should be bloopers at the end of horror movies, so it relaxes you before bedtime.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has copied:

“You’re a cougar!” God forbid a woman gives back to the youth.

Someone from 🇬🇶 has downloaded:

Al guys are like, “We can’t use it to cure cancer, but we can suck all the joy and purpose out of life so that dying isn’t sad.”

Someone from 🇬🇾 has copied:

My favourite adult hack is when I carefully and thoughtfully put something very important away so I can’t lose it, and then I never find it again.

Someone from 🇱🇧 has shared:

Where can one find a sugar daddy? Asking for a friend.

Social Media Log 💫

Spotted on Snapchat:

Sometimes, when I need a really good night’s sleep, I call my burrito guy to come over and tuck me in.

Going viral on Reddit:

Unfollowing girls on Instagram as soon as they get a boyfriend is something I’ll never stop doing.

Trending via Facebook:

Sorry I’m late, my dog was sleeping in the shape of a donut and I had to take so many photos.

Spreading quickly via X:

It’s okay to admit you want my lips on yours.

Trending via WeChat:

We can’t all be underemployed creatives. Someone in the group chat needs to know what an insurance is.

Broadcasted on YouTube:

So tomorrow is Monday again? I can’t keep living like this.

Going viral on TikTok:

Why socialize when you could party inside your room with your 10+ personalities?

Just shared via Slack:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Shared recently on Messenger:

If the math problems are too difficult for me, I post them online and write: “Only 1 in 10 can solve this problem.”

Making waves on TikTok:

This Monday has Monday written all over it.

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