Wordgag ツ

10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇻🇨 has copied:

Sorry, but if you’re walking slower than me on the sidewalk, you’re my enemy. Walking faster than me? Also my enemy. Now if you’re walking at the same speed as me… hmm, yeah, I’m thinking enemy.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has copied:

You know where I’d like to go? Missing.

Someone from 🇱🇦 has copied:

I don’t have kids or a dog. What can I bring into a bar that will make everyone mad?

Someone from 🇵🇾 has copied:

If I were a billionaire, I wouldn’t build rockets to escape to Mars. I would build rockets to make everyone else leave Earth.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has bookmarked:

Love to go to hipster restaurants and eat half a grilled cheese off an old license plate.

Someone from 🇫🇮 has viewed:

If you’re not in my circle of trust, you’re probably in my triangle of suspicion or rhombus of doubt.

Someone from 🇰🇿 has downloaded:

Just bought a new umbrella for the person that finds it tomorrow.

Someone from 🇹🇹 has copied:

Really wanted to be a therapist until I read some of your guys’ posts and problems, and I want nothing to do with that mess.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has downloaded:

Pregnancy is crazy. You really come home with someone you don’t know, with no teeth.

Someone from 🇨🇷 has downloaded:

Spring is what we call the time in between complaining about the cold and complaining about the heat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

1 minute ago

3,429

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Discord:

Phew, I thought the weather was broken because there was this weird yellow thing in the sky. But all’s well, it’s raining again.

Trending via Telegram:

Maybe women decided to convince men that beards were sexy because they were sick of cleaning the washbasin after he shaved.

Going viral on Threads:

Spent most of the day making sure the couch still works. So far so good.

Going viral on Discord:

His palm trees are Serengeti, destination wedding, luggage is heavy. There’s vomit on his tux already, Dollar store confetti.

Shared recently on Snapchat:

Sometimes I delay my haircut intentionally to look rugged just to make that glow-up more iconic.

Spreading quickly via TikTok:

God: “I don’t regret the Flood, but I do regret the Ark.”

Spotted on Twitch:

Workplace Wrapped: you had 60k minutes of meetings this year that could’ve been an email.

Broadcasted on Facebook:

Roses are red, violets are blue. When I listen to rock music, my neighbors do too.

Just landed via Reddit:

Life is like bread. It gets hard at some point.

Making waves on Facebook:

My cat just knocked over my coffee mug and looked at me like it was my fault. How dare I put it on the edge of the table?

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

5 months ago

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having an only child is like playing a never-ending game of 'Friend or Foe' sent straight from the heavens above 😅👼 One moment they're your bestie, the next they're testing your patience like a true little angel in disguise! Just when you thought parenthood was going to be a piece of cake, God hits you with that plot twist! 🍰👶 #ParentingPerks #BlessedButStressed"

child, friend, God, humor, only, parenting, relationship, test

Trending Funny Quotes 👇

New Funny Quotes

Random Funny Quotes

Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Trending Funny Quotes 📈

Hot Funny Quotes 🔥

Trending Topics 📁

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

767 added this month

Funny Quotes Total

10,929

Funny Quotes Topics

13,901

Funny Quotes Images

10,929

1 minute ago

3,427

Funny Quotes of the Month 🚀

Funny Quotes of the Year ⭐

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇧🇿 has downloaded:

Every guy wants to be called Daddy till that test comes back positive.

Someone from 🇹🇷 has shared:

Time machine? You mean a clock?

Someone from 🇸🇻 has shared:

This coffee isn’t working. Think I need holy water.

Someone from 🇦🇪 has copied:

It always takes me an hour to get ready. 45 minutes for doing nothing and 15 hectic minutes for the rest.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has shared:

Be the reason someone spits out their drink today.

Someone from 🇧🇸 has copied:

Relationships: Because sometimes destroying your life is a two person job.

Someone from 🇧🇯 has downloaded:

Nothing is riskier than closing your eyes again in the morning for that extra minute of sleep.

Someone from 🇵🇦 has copied:

I accidentally take a screenshot of my phone background at least once a week.

Someone from 🇹🇬 has viewed:

Let the good times roll. Let the bad times crawl. Let the acceptable times do the hopscotch.

Someone from 🇳🇬 has shared:

The first guy to clap after seeing something cool must have been like “what the hell am I doing?”

Social Media Log 💫

Broadcasted on Telegram:

If pills are too toxic to flush down the toilet, you probably shouldn’t swallow them.

Freshly posted on Pinterest:

Third wheeling with two girls who are best friends is so much worse than third wheeling a couple.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

In honor of the last eclipse, I will also get in the way of someone brighter than me.

Reported on Slack:

Teens be like, “This is the worst day of my life,” and it’s just that they were told to unload the dishwasher.

Making waves on Telegram:

Yes, officer I saw the speed limit, I just didn’t see your car.

Going viral on Messenger:

I was born a boy, but according to the packaging, I identify as a family of four.

Spreading quickly via Slack:

If she tells you, she’s got a man, keep trying. Loyal women don’t even reply.

Seen just now on YouTube:

Because of my looks, everyone only wants one thing from me, that I leave them alone.

Just shared via YouTube:

You guys can continue with the week, I’ve stopped here.

Spotted on Threads:

My apologies to your congregation. I totally misunderstood when you asked for missionary volunteers.

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