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10,000+ funny quotes

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇳 has copied:

I don’t trust anyone who gets enraged over messed-up fast food orders.

Someone from 🇻🇪 has bookmarked:

It’s so funny how every true crime documentary eventually devolves into a story about how the police botched the entire investigation.

Someone from 🇬🇧 has bookmarked:

Maybe if we paid our streaming services even more, they could stop jacking up the volume on the commercials they make us watch, even though we are paying for the service.

Someone from 🇴🇲 has viewed:

When they dress up really nice, but all you can think about is the thrill of taking it off.

Someone from 🇵🇹 has shared:

If you ever feel like a failure, just remember, Domino’s tried to open pizza chains in Italy.

Someone from 🇮🇸 has copied:

Why do they call it a garage sale instead of a garbage sale?

Someone from 🇱🇹 has bookmarked:

Nothing fixes your life the way deactivating Instagram does.

Someone from 🇸🇹 has bookmarked:

Turns out that ending meetings with “have the day you deserve” has made me some enemies at work.

Someone from 🇨🇭 has copied:

Please do not ask a bookworm if they are going to finish the books they have before buying more. It is very offensive in our culture.

Someone from 🇦🇺 has viewed:

Sorry to interrupt your scrolling, but I hope life gets better for you.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,605

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Telegram:

Welcome to your 50s, where coffee is the new happy hour and mornings are the new hangover.

Just shared via TikTok:

Going to the beach the day after watching Jaws hits different.

Trending via Telegram:

Most venomous snakes just make “Tsssss”. But I know some that say “Hi”.

Making waves on YouTube:

Can you check if my lips taste like cherries?

Freshly posted on LinkedIn:

Turns out my superpower is the ability to go into incredible detail in completely the wrong direction.

Freshly posted on WhatsApp:

Going to a wedding really reminds me of the important things in life. Like cake.

Seen just now on Facebook:

Addicted to bad posture. Omggg, why is it so comfortable to give yourself scoliosis?

Going bananas on TikTok:

Even in my early 20’s, I was diagnosed with late stage 40’s.

Shared recently on Threads:

Date idea: We watch Breaking Bad and break your bed.

Going viral on X:

Jealous that my phone can just die for a little while.

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.

God sends you an only child as a friend to test you.
Download image ↓

Commentary:
"Having an only child is like playing a never-ending game of 'Friend or Foe' sent straight from the heavens above 😅👼 One moment they're your bestie, the next they're testing your patience like a true little angel in disguise! Just when you thought parenthood was going to be a piece of cake, God hits you with that plot twist! 🍰👶 #ParentingPerks #BlessedButStressed"

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Welcome to Wordgag! 😉✌️ Enjoy endless laughter with our collection of funny quotes guaranteed to crack you up. 😂💥

Social Media Stars ⭐

55 shares on Reddit this month:

If you’ve never had a cheeseburger change your mood, you’ve never had a cheeseburger.

79 shares on Slack this month:

Just another day of not being hot and rich.

73 shares on Twitch this month:

Ever since I was a kid, I always knew I wanted to live in a galaxy far, far away.

91 shares on YouTube this month:

You better pray to whatever god you serve that this email finds you before I do.

23 shares on Pinterest this month:

If you can stand me, you deserve me!

50 shares on X this month:

Laundry day is my favorite day of the week. That’s why I dress for it every day.

88 shares on Messenger this month:

Many years ago, I stood up to 100-200 million others only to sit in meetings now.

55 shares on LinkedIn this month:

Adding “scroll for two hours” to my To-Do list, so I won’t do it.

26 shares on YouTube this month:

When someone says “I don’t want a relationship right now” the “at least not with you” is silent.

55 shares on Telegram this month:

Not texting back is only ok when I do it.

Trending Topics 📁

activity communication day food frustration fun humor i irony joke just know life love me media people procrastination relationship sarcasm social social media someone technology time want work

Hot Jokes 💥

16 folks are currently checking 👀

There’s nothing like the excitement of a brand-new book to add to the massive pile of books I still haven’t read.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

I was not prepared for my knees to sound like someone is breaking spaghetti noodles in half every time I go up the stairs.

24 folks are currently checking 👀

Meds have done more for me than any man ever could.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

Being an adult is mumbling ‘this is stupid’ as you reluctantly slide out of bed.

13 folks are currently checking 👀

The real body count is how many people are in therapy because of you.

5 folks are currently checking 👀

Seven wives and no alcohol? No thanks, Mormons.

12 folks are currently checking 👀

I’ve just filed a restraining order against reality.

21 folks are currently checking 👀

I’m not easily offended, but I am easily annoyed.

14 folks are currently checking 👀

Immediately de-escalating an international conflict by posting an angry looking selfie with the caption “Come on, guys.”

18 folks are currently checking 👀

Your Majesty” would be the best name for a cat.

Funny Quotes Data 🤓

New Funny Quotes

299 this month

Funny Quotes Total

15,568

Funny Quotes Topics

17,624

Funny Quotes Images

15,568

Updated

Jan 11, 2026

Users Online

3,636

Activity Log ✨

Someone from 🇹🇩 has shared:

Making friends as an adult is wild because there’s so much lore to catch up on. You’ll be 3 years in and still get random drops like, ‘Oh, by the way, I used to be married.’

Someone from 🇱🇰 has downloaded:

It’s a shame that you can’t hold people up to the light like banknotes to see whether they are fake or real.

Someone from 🇧🇴 has downloaded:

Instead of likes, we should get a little kiss.

Someone from 🇬🇹 has copied:

I don’t mean to say that I drink a lot of coffee, but Colombian farmers have a photo of me in their wallets.

Someone from 🇲🇪 has shared:

How is this the same brain that used to remember everybody’s phone numbers?

Someone from 🇫🇯 has viewed:

I hope we get the nice AI that enslaves us and makes us their pets and not the bad AI that enslaves us to mine lithium or something.

Someone from 🇨🇻 has shared:

I’m still repaying karmic debt from that time I was 12 and gave the middle finger to a cow at the state fair.

Someone from 🇨🇿 has bookmarked:

Retiring my wallet condom after two years of active duty. 87 tours with 0 combat deployments.

Someone from 🇵🇾 has viewed:

My goal was to look good in a bikini this summer, but the call of the barbecue is stronger.

Someone from 🇯🇲 has copied:

If I had my Pinterest wardrobe, I would be unstoppable.

Social Media Log 💫

Trending via Instagram:

Honestly, I don’t even play an active role in my life any more. Things just happen and I’m like “I guess this is what we’re doing now.”

Going bananas on Pinterest:

I hate when people can’t let go of the past. Debt collectors are the worst.

Seen just now on WeChat:

When someone dies people say “he’s going to meet his Maker”. No he’s not. God doesn’t mingle with the staff.

Going viral on X:

Mirror, mirror on the wall, why so many fingerprints?

Broadcasted on YouTube:

It is kind of inspiring that I messed up my life without drugs, gambling or a troubled youth. People really can do anything.

Going bananas on Twitch:

Just did my best horse impression and the doctor still won’t give me ketamine.

Trending via Twitch:

I hate it when I’m singing a song and the artist gets the words wrong.

Seen just now on Telegram:

Only people who grew up before the internet will remember these: spelling, grammar and punctuation.

Spreading quickly via X:

Want to come over? We can trauma dump, take a nap, and then order a pizza and watch a movie.

Freshly posted on WeChat:

Ever since I was little, I knew I wanted people to watch how they speak to me.

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